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Author Topic: Helena Chlophyll  (Read 1327 times)

nathan67003

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Helena Chlophyll
« on: November 07, 2016, 06:03:00 AM »
CHARACTER

Name: Helena Chlophyll

Age: 17, born 21st of Amare 63 AC

Species and Gender: Female human

Symbol: A bright, shining Sun the same colour as her Aura.

Occupation: Beacon Academy student, first year

Appearance: At 1.75 metres/5'9" and 63 kilograms/140 lbs, Helena has defined muscles. Her shoulders are slightly wider than average and her chest, while nothing to write home about, isn't too shabby either at a C cup. Her features tend to be on the soft side. She has a warm, smooth voice that could easily lull you to sleep. Her most defined muscles are her shoulder and upper back ones, mostly due to using Artemis. She has fair skin and straight, light blond hair that goes down to her shoulderbones as well as very pale blue-grey eyes. She is right-handed.

Helena's 'casual' attire consists of a black, fitted dress shirt with slightly golden buttons paired with a navy, tea-length circle skirt and golden heels. When the weather is too frigid or rainy, she'll also wear a burgundy princess coat with white buttons and a hidden hood. She wears her school uniform as prim and proper as possible. Her formal attire consists of a white, knee-length dress and white heels. The skirt is made of a twenty or so thin, light swaths of textile, seemingly sown onto a common base. The skirt also has a slight colour gradient: it starts white at the top and becomes a very pale lilac at the bottom. Her pajama consists of a maroon-coloured silk nightgown. She can sometimes be seen with a small, brown leather sash slung around herself, which is where she likes to keep her pet garden snake when on the move in a safe environment.

History: Helena was born in Vale to two equally Vallite parents. She grew up in one of the poorer parts of the city. But even then, her parents were something special: they helped out everyone they could with all the time they could spare, even if they worked most of the day to make ends meet. They tried to communicate this love of people to their daughter, and boy did they ever succeed. Even at the ripe age of 4, Helena would go to others and speak to them in a friendly manners, even those that could be regarded as bullies - which rarely remained that way. If she saw another child - or even adult - cry, she was pretty much guaranteed to be found hugging them within 10 seconds, asking what's wrong and doing her best to help. She got it bad, sometimes, when someone went aggressive, but even then, she refused to stop helping.

When she was 8, however, something changed - drastically. As improbable as it may seem, her parents won the lotto. Thankfully for pretty much everyone involved, it didn't change them or go to their heads: they dressed a bit fancier, but still very simply and, above all, kept on helping others, spending even more time on that as they had stopped working. Now, they distributed food and clothing to the homeless, provided shelters, helped families in need, arranged for doctors to consult those who couldn't afford it. When she wasn't at school, they brought their child along, watching her bloom into a ball of sunshine with seemingly infinite stocks of love for all.

When she was 11, Helena was seriously wondering what she would do later in life. Would she be a doctor? A humanitarian worker? A police officer? There were so many options that were good ways of helping people! After giving it a lot of thought and asking her parents, their friends and her own friends for advice, she settled on becoming a Huntress. Not everything about the job was chasing monsters, but also helping those who were too far away from the main settlements for the usual help to be of any use. This made her take up archery as a pastime and, furthermore, as practice for her future job. When the time came, she therefore enrolled in Signal.

Mere days after arriving at Signal, during the first live exercise she took part in, one of her fellow students injured themselves rather severely, blood escaping the wound at a dangerous rate. Doing, as usual, all she could to help, Helena ran to the boy and pressed both hands on the gash, wishing for the bleeding to stop. Which it did. About thirty seconds later, when the nurses arrived on the scene and asked that she remove her hands so that they could evaluate the damage, the bleeding had completely stopped. Helena had just used her semblance for the first time. Realizing this, she began to consume as much information as possible about biology and anatomy. Therefore, most of her time at Signal was spent on using her semblance by swinging by the hospital every day. She got into Beacon with average scores all over the board, ecstatic at the idea of being one step closer to becoming a healer Huntress.

Personality: Helena is just about as bright as the Sun can be, bordering on the excessive. Relentlessly joyful and happy, she refuses to see people as only evil, claiming that there is no such thing as pure evil: there's always a reason behind it, one that she seldom understands. As such, even though the White Fang's recent activities are... of a rather questionable nature, she is entirely convinced that they believe they are doing this for the greater good. Her willingness to help with almost anything anyone can ask, as well as try to help those who seem to need it, can lend her to be marginally - okay, not so marginally - naive and prone to fall into traps. She usually prefers to hang around outside, amidst large amounts of greenery which may or may not have been grown via her semblance, either just enjoying the sights or reading a book under the shadow of a tree, and is quite happy if anyone decides to join her.

Aura and Semblance: Helena's Aura is a bright, warm solar yellow (#FFFFE5).

Her semblance is, in one word, Life. It allows her to use her Aura to heal animals and people. Healing done with her semblance will leave no scar tissue behind. She is only capable of healing relatively recent injuries and, to a much lesser extent, sickness. The amount of Aura needed depends on the size, nature and complexity of the injury. For sickness, it basically gives the immune system a boost.
Spoiler: Examples • show
She can fully mend a large, broken bone (femur, etc.) for 80%. Hemorrhages, due to the rather localized nature of blood vessels, can be healed quite easily - 10% in extreme cases. Muscle tears are rather exhausting, a large muscle group necessitating about 40%. Nerves, due to their very local nature, can be healed for less than 15%, in most cases. The most extreme thing she can pull off, however, is that if someone's had a limb sliced clean off, she can reattach it over the course of 3 days, starting with barely reattaching the bone along with repairing nerves and blood vessels and sealing the skin.

Note: Aura can be exchanged for stamina, where 0% stamina = fainting from exhaustion.

Combat Behavior: Helena considers herself as more of a support than anything else, usually preferring to stand far behind her allies and snipe with Artemis. However, should the terrain or situation prove to be unsuitable to such an arrangement, she will dual wield her knives and rapidly flit about her foes, stabbing and slicing with strangely graceful, rapid and fluid movements, but is still far from impressive and struggles to inflict damage, being somewhat unused to close quarters.

WEAPONS

Name: Artemis

Primary Form: Artemis takes the form of a large, reflex flatbow and its 24 accompanying arrows, along with a quiver. A large strip of light, silvery, unpolished metal spans its entire length and thickness and the rest of the flatbow itself is completed by carbon fibre. The draw string is a thick nanotube wire. The entire thing was treated to be fireproof since, y'know, carbon burns. The arrows - most of them - have a shaft made of carbon nanotube reinforced polymer, black polymer fletching and have tungsten carbide heads which are the nightmarish child of bodkin points and broadheads. The broadhead part is situated just below the bodkin point, within the shaft, and deploys on impact - optimally, after it penetrates the target. The arrows are also treated to be fire resistant. The bow is capable of shooting its ammo at just over 150 m/s when fully drawn. Its maximum range is what you'd expect for such a bow - about 400 m. This is a far cry from the effective range, though, which is about 80 meters.

Dust Functions: Small Dust containers can be clamped onto the shaft, right after the bodkin point. These containers are stored in pockets on the quiver. Helena likes to have two of each on hand at all times. The effects have an 0.6 metre radius unless specified otherwise.
- Fire: Creates an explosion.
- Ice: Freezes stuff or creates ice around stuff.
- Lightning: Zaps things.
- Kinetic: Drives the arrow forward with immense force (basically quadruples the arrow's ordinary momentum).

History: Helena had Artemis custom-made for her while she was at Signal. She named it Artemis because of, well, Artemis.

Name: Seikatsu & Shi

Primary Form: Seikatsu and Shi are two daggers/knives which are only special in their looks. Seikatsu is of a vivid green with yellow reflections, while Shi is black with red reflections. Seikatsu's sheath is attached on the left side of her belt while Shi's is symmetrically placed.

Spoiler: The goddamn colours, man • show
Seikatsu colours: #14A900 & #D9DC00
Shi: Black is black, red is #C20000


History: Helena made these weapons herself while attending Signal as a close-range solution.
« Last Edit: November 20, 2016, 07:13:49 AM by nathan67003 »
Nathan Eau, De Facto Jetpack Guy of Team ROSE
Camelia Sol, Miss Magnetic Personality and Team CBLT Leader
Anna Fall, Insightful Visionary of Team ASTC
Brock Greenwood, Human Titan of Team HTDG
Helena Chlophyll, Ray of Sunshine of Team CHES
Scarlett/Corinth,Korynn,etc. Briggart/Topaz (In the works)
Max (mp)
Chloe (mp)
Maena (In the works)
Europa/Encela(dus)/Io/Callisto/Calypso (In the works)
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Re: Helena Chlophyll
« Reply #1 on: November 08, 2016, 08:56:40 PM »
Aura and Semblance:
Add some examples of common wounds and their healing costs for the first function of the semblance so that you don't go healing-crazy.

Weapons:
-   Speed seems fine, but you should include a range limit if you want to be number-happy
-   Prometheus isn't a thing for now, so remove that from the Artemis weapon history
-   2 meters is too much for a first year's dust effects, make the radius shorter.
-   Artemis seems to be a pretty gnarly weapon for someone who's all sunshine and rainbows, what with the vicious dual-function tips. I'm not gonna ask you to change it, but it seems a bit out of character.
-   Why do you need a hyperdiamond arrow tip? Surely it doesn't have any distinct advantages over other, less expensive alternatives. If you want it for flavor, then ok, but it won't be doing any more damage than a normal arrow just because it has a really durable point.
-   The paralyzing toxin is mostly ok, I think, but only because you won't be able to break the skin until her opponent's aura is broken.
-   The lethal toxin on Shi is far too much. Why the hell would a character like this even carry a death-toxin? Just remove it. Even with the whole thing about not being able to get through the skin until aura is broken, it's still too op.

Everything else looks pretty much ok.
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nathan67003

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Re: Helena Chlophyll
« Reply #2 on: November 09, 2016, 05:07:25 AM »
Added. To make things easier, here's a quote.
Spoiler: Examples • show
She can fully mend a large, broken bone (femur, etc.) for 80%. Hemorrhages, due to the rather localized nature of blood vessels, can be healed quite easily - 10% in extreme cases. Muscle tears are rather exhausting, a large muscle group necessitating about 40%. Nerves, due to their very local nature, can be healed for less than 5%, in most cases. The most extreme thing she can pull off, however, is that if someone's had a limb sliced clean off, she can reattach it over the course of 3 days, starting with barely reattaching the bone along with repairing nerves and blood vessels and sealing the skin.

- Range limit would be, I imagine, about 600 metres for a bow like this. Added that.
- Removed. I expect the author of Prometheus to send me a reminder when/if it passes approval.
- Downgraded radius to 0.6 m.
- It's made to brutally murder Grimm. Being vicious is necessary/expected.
- For the material, I believe it's the best thing to penetrate armour because of its supreme hardness, along with a weight to add some driving force. With a kinetic augment, that arrow should be able to easily punch through Goliath armour. And no, no more Aura damage than a normal arrow, wasn't planning on that either.
- Yay.
- Put that it's still really, really WiP. She'd carry it around for the sheer symmetry of the thing.

Thanks for pointing these out!
« Last Edit: November 09, 2016, 05:26:31 AM by nathan67003 »
Nathan Eau, De Facto Jetpack Guy of Team ROSE
Camelia Sol, Miss Magnetic Personality and Team CBLT Leader
Anna Fall, Insightful Visionary of Team ASTC
Brock Greenwood, Human Titan of Team HTDG
Helena Chlophyll, Ray of Sunshine of Team CHES
Scarlett/Corinth,Korynn,etc. Briggart/Topaz (In the works)
Max (mp)
Chloe (mp)
Maena (In the works)
Europa/Encela(dus)/Io/Callisto/Calypso (In the works)
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Re: Helena Chlophyll
« Reply #3 on: November 09, 2016, 10:51:45 AM »
Hey Umbra, I don't mean to step on your toes here, but I just need to slap Nathan a little bit:

Quote
For the material, I believe it's the best thing to penetrate armour because of its supreme hardness, along with a weight to add some driving force. With a kinetic augment, that arrow should be able to easily punch through Goliath armour. And no, no more Aura damage than a normal arrow, wasn't planning on that either.



No...just no. Diamond-tipped arrows with kinetic dust will NEVER be able to pierce through a Goliath. If a high-powered sniper rifle is seen as nothing more than an irritation to the creature, then your arrows would not even be felt.

Also, on a different note: Promethius has been put on hold until Aethos is completed. So as of right now, Promethius doesn't even exist so don't even bother trying to say anything in regards to it.

That's my two cents. All yours again Umbra.
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nathan67003

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Re: Helena Chlophyll
« Reply #4 on: November 09, 2016, 10:57:58 AM »
Well thanks for clearing that up. They're made to pierce armour, but a Goliath's is still too much. Noted.

And did I not say Prometheus was removed from the CS?
Nathan Eau, De Facto Jetpack Guy of Team ROSE
Camelia Sol, Miss Magnetic Personality and Team CBLT Leader
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Re: Helena Chlophyll
« Reply #5 on: November 09, 2016, 08:56:07 PM »
Aura and Semblance:
With the examples, it looks ok. A little potent for a first year, but since she's a support type, it seems fine.

Weapons:
-   Just so you know, the most for a grimm that you'd be able to punch through (including the diamond tip and the kinetic augment) would be the bone mask for a large ursa. So don't go killing death stalkers and nevermores in one shot with your bow just because you're not allowed to pierce the armor of a Goliath.
-   So you're telling me that this girl, who always sees the best in people and never believes anyone is truly evil, is developing a deadly toxin that she intends to use on other people!? Again, no. It just doesn't fit. That's something I could see Enz trying (and he'd probably decide that it would be too dangerous for him), but not her. Seriously, explain why she would want to even have a weapon that can kill with a scratch, then maybe (and that's one hell of a maybe), maybe I'll consider letting you have the super WIP version.
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Spoiler: show
Reaper's Spear I summon thee
To smite my foes and enemies.
Lightning's wrath in darkness grasped
Delivers swift eternity.

-Azrail Duivel Kind

Drevin Srebra 1st year speed demon - #347C2C - teamless

Brond Osilgrin - #B22222 - fully fledged hunter/walking bonfire

Rix "Deadshot" Maradis (currently unapproved) 1st year coder/sniper - #157DEC & Tess #79BAEC - teamless

Project t17: restrained - glow #D41A1F color #121212 - the chupacabra of Vale

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nathan67003

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Re: Helena Chlophyll
« Reply #6 on: November 10, 2016, 05:54:26 AM »
She literally just likes the symmetry, and it makes her learn a lot more about how biology works than she would've known otherwise. And no, she doesn't really intend to use it on others, but she wants to challenge herself regardless.
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Re: Helena Chlophyll
« Reply #7 on: November 10, 2016, 07:22:52 AM »
Let me step in for that bit.

I studied biology, and unless you specialize in stuff regarding venoms, poisons and antidotes, you'd probably be stuck in that field alone because it's a goddamned HUGE field. Don't go branching several leagues away from simple healing just because you need a convenient excuse to have another random convenient weapon for your arsenal. Also poisons and venoms are also kind of different fields so that's also a big problem unless she was a specified poison expert(Durzo Blint is not impressed)

I might as well read the whole damned thing

Regarding the semblance? Stick with one. I'm not allowing you to just grow plants willy nilly at the expense of a meager 1% aura. Pick, healing or plant growing not both. Also just so you know nerves are actually harder to 'regrow and heal' since they're non dividing cells from the get-go. If you're keeping the healing bump that cost up.

Regarding poison usage on people? It's useless with aura on unless you're pricking them while they're unconscious and that seems to be a far cry from her behavior.

Now weapon

Here's the thing about adding uber specifications on your weapons. Nanotube wires, tungsten, carbon fiber. It's not really that important and for all we know unless you're just reading off the specifications of a irl composite bow or something it's pointless. You would've saved time just saying that the string was non metallic but the bow was and was semi fire proof or something. Also, do you seriously need to infuse dust in every single part? Kinetic dust in the string? Seriously? So all that nanotube mumbo jumbo was to infuse dust in it? I doubt it would be a sufficient passage way for non fluid dust not to mention extremely impractical. (Also more elementals for weapons cuz elementals are cool!)

Again I see that you randomly bullshitted up a number. Most bows can't go beyond 300m and the world's best shot was actually made under 300m. You doubled that number and said "what you'd expect from a bow". If you're going to go into a super detailed explanation of your weapon and then give a random bullshit number I expect it to at least be feasible. Sure you can attribute it to (lol) dust but you don't necessarily mention that for its normal range now, do you?

Also, No. No diamonds. If it's anything near real world economics a whole quiver would be sufficient to buy 10 bows or more of the same price. Also...Diamonds? No. Plain flat out no. You trying to green arrow your way into approvals? No. And No I'm not allowing you to use anything nearly as hard as diamond and don't go saying dust shit because dust is volatile and probably won't harden anything to that point either just because you want to slay large grimm easily. Friggin main characters can't even kill large grimm by themselves most of the time and you want to do it willy nilly. Let me repeat because you seem to have a hard time digesting that even after other reviewers told you. No. No no no no no no no no No. You already have a history with bad weapon design and abuse so I suggest you tread carefully because your profiles are now under scrutiny and most you'll hear for such absurd ideas is

NO.

Toxin weapons won't work with aura shielded people and I doubt she'd be trying to kill random innocents. So no to that to.






« Last Edit: November 10, 2016, 07:48:29 AM by Xarias Fury »
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Re: Helena Chlophyll
« Reply #8 on: November 10, 2016, 07:26:56 AM »
Hmm. Fine, the second toxin'll just be a hobby of hers, then?
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Re: Helena Chlophyll
« Reply #9 on: November 10, 2016, 07:52:20 AM »
You can't just make deadly or paralysis toxins hobbies. No
Students
Wisteria Lockheart - 1st Year student at Beacon. "Don't make me throw a book at you"
Shiroe Pendragon - 1st Year Student at beacon - "This is my monochrome reality" - Team MARS
Lavender du Lac - 1st Year Student at Haven - "The harder I try the further things drift away."
Ayaka Miyamoto - 1st Year student at Beacon. "Tsubame Gaeshi!" - Team ALIA
Vermilion Desdemona - 3rd Year Student at Beacon - "Only time you'd be above me is when your head rests on my pike"
Talen de L'eglantine - 3rd Year Student at Beacon
Kei Almas - 4th Year Student at Beacon - "Everything is ripe for the taking!"
Aurum LeBlanc - 3rd Year Student at Atlas - "Lay back, take it easy, and watch the comedy unfold"

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Re: Helena Chlophyll
« Reply #10 on: November 10, 2016, 07:53:52 AM »
I said the second toxin's development. She still spent years focusing on making the paralysis one.
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Scarlett/Corinth,Korynn,etc. Briggart/Topaz (In the works)
Max (mp)
Chloe (mp)
Maena (In the works)
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Re: Helena Chlophyll
« Reply #11 on: November 10, 2016, 08:20:36 AM »
Do I need repeat myself? Reread my previous review. You want a student, barely versed in medical stuff, to delve in on toxins as if it were a hobby.

What did I say? Nooooooooooo
Students
Wisteria Lockheart - 1st Year student at Beacon. "Don't make me throw a book at you"
Shiroe Pendragon - 1st Year Student at beacon - "This is my monochrome reality" - Team MARS
Lavender du Lac - 1st Year Student at Haven - "The harder I try the further things drift away."
Ayaka Miyamoto - 1st Year student at Beacon. "Tsubame Gaeshi!" - Team ALIA
Vermilion Desdemona - 3rd Year Student at Beacon - "Only time you'd be above me is when your head rests on my pike"
Talen de L'eglantine - 3rd Year Student at Beacon
Kei Almas - 4th Year Student at Beacon - "Everything is ripe for the taking!"
Aurum LeBlanc - 3rd Year Student at Atlas - "Lay back, take it easy, and watch the comedy unfold"

Professors
Professor William Nox - "To contain the world in a grain of dust *EXPOROSION*

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Re: Helena Chlophyll
« Reply #12 on: November 10, 2016, 08:27:14 AM »
So just to be clear, here: no toxins at all, even though she didn't delve into the paralysis one as a hobby, or no lethal toxin?
Nathan Eau, De Facto Jetpack Guy of Team ROSE
Camelia Sol, Miss Magnetic Personality and Team CBLT Leader
Anna Fall, Insightful Visionary of Team ASTC
Brock Greenwood, Human Titan of Team HTDG
Helena Chlophyll, Ray of Sunshine of Team CHES
Scarlett/Corinth,Korynn,etc. Briggart/Topaz (In the works)
Max (mp)
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Xarias Fury

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Re: Helena Chlophyll
« Reply #13 on: November 10, 2016, 08:47:42 AM »
N.O
Students
Wisteria Lockheart - 1st Year student at Beacon. "Don't make me throw a book at you"
Shiroe Pendragon - 1st Year Student at beacon - "This is my monochrome reality" - Team MARS
Lavender du Lac - 1st Year Student at Haven - "The harder I try the further things drift away."
Ayaka Miyamoto - 1st Year student at Beacon. "Tsubame Gaeshi!" - Team ALIA
Vermilion Desdemona - 3rd Year Student at Beacon - "Only time you'd be above me is when your head rests on my pike"
Talen de L'eglantine - 3rd Year Student at Beacon
Kei Almas - 4th Year Student at Beacon - "Everything is ripe for the taking!"
Aurum LeBlanc - 3rd Year Student at Atlas - "Lay back, take it easy, and watch the comedy unfold"

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Professor William Nox - "To contain the world in a grain of dust *EXPOROSION*

nathan67003

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Re: Helena Chlophyll
« Reply #14 on: November 10, 2016, 08:49:23 AM »
Fine. Removed toxin stuff. Could she still eventually develop them later on in life?
« Last Edit: November 10, 2016, 08:51:14 AM by nathan67003 »
Nathan Eau, De Facto Jetpack Guy of Team ROSE
Camelia Sol, Miss Magnetic Personality and Team CBLT Leader
Anna Fall, Insightful Visionary of Team ASTC
Brock Greenwood, Human Titan of Team HTDG
Helena Chlophyll, Ray of Sunshine of Team CHES
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