Author Topic: Kerri Palidus  (Read 5947 times)

terexia

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Kerri Palidus
« on: September 16, 2016, 12:14:09 PM »
CHARACTER

Name:

Kerri Pallidus (KAIR-ree)

Stage Name : ShowHide
Grimm Witch


Age:

18, Born Frost 28, 60 AC

Species and Gender:

Panda Faunus, Female

Symbol:

Kerri’s Symbol: ShowHide


Occupation:

Beacon First Year, Humanitarian, Internet personality, Guitarist of Grimm Omen, Public Speaker,

Appearance:
Facial appearance (with hair up):: ShowHide

Height 6’3
Weight 160

Kerri has a Wraithlike visage. Her black and white streaked hair is long down to waist length. A pair of panda ears stick out of the top of her head and  her hair falls down on her face  and covers her face and eyes. Due to damage to her eyes she is blind and constantly suffers from subconjunctival hemorrhaging. (bloody whites of eyes)  and around her sunken eyes are dark blemishes. (Due to vein damage).  She is tall with a skinny unhealthy build, stringy muscle with a lack of fat and her entire upper body and limbs have a multitude of scars caused from her injuries from factory labor and combat damage.Kerri’s appearance unnerves people and she uses this fact to her advantage.

Her clothing style is eccentric and Gothic,  usually based on the dress of past noble style (Victorian). From childhood she idolized the dress of old nobles and royals. She imagined herself in that world  as a child and that fantasy was one of the few comforts she could fall back on as a child. She now adds twisted themes and concepts of Gothic style to match her devilish theme. (All of her clothing is handmade.)

Her casual attire tends to be the same Gothic style, similar to her combat and band gear. she prefers dark clothing but loves dressing up, Her clothing style tends to change from day to day although it usually has the same Gothic themes. She usually modifies most bought clothes she wears in some way.

Her combat and band attire is made to intimidate people due to her need to prove herself capable (even if it means scaring others.) Her  hair's a mess of  knee length long black and white streaked hair that covers her entire face .  She wears bandages on her legs and feet (She puts rubber padding around her feet under the bandages so she can remain mobile. ) It allows her to use the texture of the ground as landmarks to keep herself orientated though now she tends to wear the bandages in her casual wear now.



History:

--Early Life--11 years

Kerri was born in a slum located in outer Atlas She and her parents worked hard to survive .  As she watched them work hard to try to provide for her at a young age she had a  want to help provide and not be a burden to her family. Her mother and father attempted to make the most of their meager lives. They constantly tried to give the best to their little angel. But she felt a need to pay it back. She learned to knit and dance from her mother and tried to make and sell her own wares. Three months in a row she had secretly saved up by trading a selling fabric until she had enough to slowly weave clothing. She took small scraps of material separated them and slowly but surely made them into renditions of pictures from the stories her parents read to her. Although she did this in secret she practiced her mother's art of handweaving.

When her mother was away or sleeping she would attach her fabric to the loom and weave in the dark slowly day by day making scarves and gloves , although made childishly with bright colors and frills, they were of decent quality although there were some imperfections. Taking out to sell she went to the street where most of the neighbourhood traded and bartered and bought one of the clothing sets she had made. This one was a scrappy attempt at a regal robe. Once she was there she tried to sell the clothes until a group of people older than her grabbed it and ran.

Heart broken at the loss of her work she trudged home and the next day brought out another article of clothing. This time it was a simple robe but again they came and stole it.  Angry she stomped home and this time she brought her last piece of clothing. A Dress based off of one one of her favorite stories.. `The Girl in the Tower`. It seemed that the third day was the charm  as she finally managed to sell her wares. She didn't get much but she made over 400 Lien (Yen) more money she had ever held at one time. As she left the boys came back and this time stole her money from her. ‘How dare they, I earned that! ‘ She thought livid with  anger. With ignorant courage the little girl followed the thieves that had stolen from her. She slowly tracked them using her faunus sight allowing her to keep track of them from afar them when darkness had already fallen. She heard strange noises in the shadows, noises that she had never heard before. She remembered always being told to stay away from this part of the slums. ‘I won't be here long,’ She thought.

People were drooling and gagging on the streets, screams could be heard from some houses and a strange coppery odour seemed to leech from the buildings. She quickly shook off her distractions as the group she was stalking went into a nearby building that towered over all the others. Following them she looked inside and saw an terror-inducing sight. The building was filled with chained people of various colors and creeds. They were all in cages and asleep and to her horror some of them she recognized. One strange thing that stood out to her was that they all seemed to be Faunus. Swallowing her panic she resolved to tell her parents about this place, they would know what to do. She noticed that the boys were hurrying into a certain room. “Just a peek” she thought “Then I'll leave” curiosity mixing with determination to not let her journey be in vain made her press on.

She went to walk into the room before she heard a voice yell. “Stop!” Kerri tried to run did but her legs wouldn't move her body felt strange as if it was being puppeteered. She stood still her body frozen in mid stride, she started to cry but with a command of silence her voice squeaked into quietness. “‘Well we could always use another worker” he said as he waved his hand and she fell asleep. When she woke startled and afraid Kerri found herself in some decrepit mine shaft. Sitting there shaking with panic and confusing with a million question running through her head she looked around. It only took a few minutes for a few men to come in and force her to her feet. The next coming days would be hell as they evaluated her “potential”. She was put to the test everyday running various tasks in the seemingly endless maze of tunnels. A week or so after she had been captured...was it a week? She had lost track of time in the dis-orientating dark of the caves. She was escorted into the factory facilities above the mines. Immediately after getting to the factory she was forced to help move around hazardous materials for refining dust and transporting  crates of refined dust. Her malnourished petite physique and young age prevented her from doing most of the work in the mines but her only redeemable quality was her size. Being able to fit into places that adults couldn't.   



--Escape--13 year old
She became scared of the humans keeping her head down and trying to get her jobs done as soon as she could. Being constantly beaten with blunt and sharp instruments alike. She never even thought of fighting back until she found something interesting… About three years during production she walked by some of the cells of ‘misbehaving’ slaves. She found to her curiosity that most of them donned monster like masks. She also found that the people who wore them were hurt the worse. She was intrigued by them, slowly but surely she began to talk to them. Overtime she started to feel what she hadn't felt in a long time. The feeling that came with establishing a relationship with another human being...how long had she been in here, she had forgotten. It became part of her daily routine, trying to scrounge up as much time as she could to talk to these people. One day was set apart different than the others. When she arrived they told her to bring all the people that she could quickly.  As silently as she could she brought all  of the people that she found were idle over to them. The group smiled and bathed them all with a glowing aura (Unlocking their aura) they whispered “Make them pay…”. A few minutes later an escort of guards came in and broke up the meeting.  There as much protest but eventually the poor people were forced out of the cells by the humans and were never seen again. Work continued as usual until in the sleeping room. Some of the others that attended that same meeting she did started exhibiting strange powers. While their strength grew they were still too scared and scattered to rebel...for now.

As the days pressed on Kerri’s frail frame was starting to crack. Her years of malnourishment and poor physique were catching up. While she was carrying a very dangerous box of dust that needed to be transported through a tiny transportation shaft, she dropped her load and collapsed. Kerri struggled to her feet, one of the overseers started to beat her yelling obscenities and raving. As he aimed a kick towards her she let out a pulse of aura instinctively blocking his kick sending him stumbling back. In that moment of intensity Kerri felt … powerful, in control, she could feel everything around her without a glance . She wanted to protect herself  Feeling rage building deep within her she willed the worst thing to imagine to form in front of her  and with a gasp she conjured her own fear a Grimm sized Human made out of her shadow like aura . The pulse of aura from conjuring it had  set off the ice dust sending spikes of ice into different machinery.

Small particles of ice had gotten into her eye but she didn't notice more than a small tingling sensation. Willing her apparition to attack the humans the other slaves followed and used the aura and semblances  given to them from the white fang members. But with their lack of control, experience and coordination  cause them, to end up  setting off a chain reaction of most of the dust in the factory causing a massive explosion. When rescue crews got to the wreckage most of the slavers were either dead or escaped and there was only a few survivors.

---New Life---
When Kerri woke up she found herself in a hospital nearly completely unable to see and her eyes burning. The chemicals that had been kicked up by the explosion had blinded her and given her eyes a horrifying appearance. They look sickly, melted as they rested slightly sunk into her face. After getting medical attention she soon found out there was a large controversy regarding the events that transpired in the factory. Reporters were asking her questions and she was filled with hope that she could start her life over. It would take her time but...she could heal. The Atlas government was under-pressure of all outlets of media and allied governments. This whole incident was under their jurisdiction and due to that fact they had to take the blame and work about ways to help the survivors. Kerri spent the next 2 years of her life trying to rebuild what she lost through her years at the factory. She was taught how to go through life without her sight. She finally started to feel happy again. When the two years were finished she was deemed ready to re-enter society. Her scars were still fresh and her wounds still healing but she was ready to start anew. The best way she figured she could start a new life was by moving. It was time she left her past behind and restart her life in Vale.

It was wonderful at first being in a place where no one knew her or her family. She started making acquaintances and became an internet celebrity using the attention gained from the tragedy to gain an audience.She used her developing social skill and apparent natural talent for emotional manipulation. However she found that with every passing day a sensation grew in her chest. One that called her to action. She tried her best to forget what happened however there was somethings she could never erase. The cold...the unbearable cold of the factory and the mines. It haunted her sleep, it ebbed away at her in nightmares and flashbacks. The only things that kept her warm was that sensation, it was a call to action. A call to repay help others, she became a public figure in the Faunus rights scene.

 During this time she met with other like minded activists and musicians she met someone who would change her life. Cherry Bright was violent, passionate, unpredictable , daring and not afraid to do what needed to be done, and Kerri couldn't help but feel, bolder and stronger around her. Everything about how Cherry acted reminded her of the feeling she had when she fought against the humans in the mines. Cherry’s influence emboldened her and gave her the confidence to do more with her influence.
She soon became fully involved and invested in the music scene and Faunus empowerment scene. A few acquaintances and her and Cherry soon banded together as the group known as Grimm Omen. Provocative, controversial and spearheading the message of the empowerment of Faunus they began to rise from the underground scene into the mainstream. Before long they had become celebrities and Kerri reveled in the attention making sure that her quiet persona on stage was contrasted by the effects of her semblance making each performance a visual spectacle.

She joined Signal. Taking mostly classes in aura and dust studies she became proficient at both while barely passing in other fields such as academics and close combat. She worked tirelessly to improve her faults but some days it seemed that even though some of her work in Signal was exemplary after a while she became discouraged. She felt that even though that she was one of the best she knew she still wouldn't be able to contribute to the movement in the ways that mattered. However when she was in the rut it was Cherry’s help that got her back on her feat. While her help was...unorthodox she still encouraged Kerri to find different ways to help the movement. Kerri began speaking at rallies. Unlike others that garnered support by using the passion and anger that the Faunus had gone through She understood that this approach would drive others away. So she began to speak in rallies and meetings not of war and bloodshed , but of helping each other and identity.

She went to Signal periodically,  not bothering with most classwork that wasn't absolutely necessary.  She learnt basic information and fighting but, spent most of her time having one on one training with teachers that specialized in aura and semblance training, foregoing the rest of the courses. Her knowledge of combat was a surprise in her admission exam, and she has a higher mastery of dust and combat then was taught to her by her teacher. (though the source of this training is unknown.)

News travels fast when you have ears in high places so when it was announced that Cherry Bright/Chainsaw was joining Beacon (mostly due to her rival Cheri Chanson joining) Kerri was by her side ready to stroll up the towers herself. Barely passing her Signal exams Kerri elected to to take the entrance exams instead and passed with flying colours. She was ready to tackle any challenges that came her way right by Cherry’s side.

Personality:
Kerri used to be well known as a humanitarian activist, an innocent child. However when that role no longer caught the world's attention she slipped into the persona of the Grimm Witch which allowed her to re enter the public view.

-Contrary to her perceived benevolence and empathy, Kerri is a very effective manipulator and loves playing roles and method acting, usually donning a persona or ‘act’ at all times. She known to be an eccentric always craving attention and validation, covering up her lack of self esteem and she constantly needs the confirmation of others to feel good about herself.

-Kerri’s number one priority is Cherry’s well being, she would do anything and say anything for her. That being said she is far from overbearing, she knows Cherry can handle herself and usually protects her reputation rather than physically defending her. Although she spends most of her time trying to keep her friend in line, she’s ready to fight by her side and curbstomp some poor sap if given the order.

-Kerri acts extremely quiet when in public preferring to keep to herself, but in fact she is very confident in speaking and is a very soothing and charming silver tongue.

-She also keeps herself busy by sewing (by using certain unorthodox techniques and with others input Kerri usually buys and modifies clothes into her own ensembles.)

-Kerri is usually neutral in most situations, and is somewhat decent or even sometimes kind  to most people unless given a reason to dislike them. She tends to act far more reckless, rash and provocative around Cherry. However get on her bad side and she will do anything in her power to ruin your reputation and wellbeing.

-Although Kerri acts very righteous and believes herself to be on the side of moral justice, Her personality is very skewed from her experiences and she is willing to go to extreme lengths to get what she wants.

Aura and Semblance:

Aura color: Achromatic

Auric Manipulation

Kerri’s semblance is an uncanny generation and manipulation of her aura. Kerri has the ability to conjure and manipulate aura off of the usual range of her body. Her Aura is unusually dense and as such is actually quite opaque. Kerri can manipulate her aura freely in an range of 30 meters, and usually uses her semblance to channel Dust especially shards of dust crystals with precise control and channeling full crystals of dust without harming herself. Dust can also be channeled into her aura constructs. If she is throwing dust infused aura, the aura disappears as soon as the projectile leaves her hand.

She is also known for using her strange Aura to her advantage.  such as creating wraith like versions of herself or covering her body in black mist. All constructs that she creates however are not tangible and can be passed through like one would pass through a wall of fog/ Conjuring mist outside of her body costs 3% of her aura and can be manipulated into different aesthetic shapes, this subtracts the aura from her usable pool but makes it so that it will persist as long as she is conscious. Creating another form out of her mist-like aura (Grimm like creatures or silhouettes of people)  is 5%. If the aura construct is not used to channel dust and/or Kerri did not take damage in the duration that she summoned the construct  she can re absorb her aura.
Due to the strange qualities of Kerri’s aura she can only use 10% of it defensively at a time, making her extremely fragile. Her aura will refresh back to her 10% cap is she hasn't taken damage in 20 seconds.

TDLR: Kerri is able to manipulate her aura into creating non-tangible constructs that can be infused with dust.

 Her well-run history with aura usage has also gifted her with the ability of presence, allowing her to vaguely feel if a person's aura or the presence of a Grimm is within 100m of her.

Fighting Style:

Kerri has a large aura pool which she uses to her advantage to protect herself and use her semblance, Kerri has overall above average senses and orientation. Her Aura is very necessary for defense due to the fact the Kerri is extremely physically fragile and can be seriously harmed if attacked when her aura is down. She struggles with hand to hand and close-combat due to not being able to see her opponent. She is swift and agile but unfortunately her unhealthy build causes her to have low stamina. If Kerri does not specifically know if an obstruction is in her attack’s path (like a wall or an object), it can greatly impede her combat. Especially the aim of her dust attacks.

Kerri is terrified of the cold, in her normal form it will make her frightened and anxious. In a fight or flight scenario she might go into a panic becoming dangerous to everyone near her.

Kerri has enhanced Faunus senses (hearing and smell) which are slightly augmented due to her lack of sight. The increased senses allow Kerri  to pinpoint the location of certain individuals and react to their actions. As well she knows Flash Sonar a technique thought to her by her aids in Valerie that helps her get around easier by being able to get a vague understanding what what objects are around her by clicking the top of her mouth,  aiding her in day to day movement. (Not usable in combat due to focus required,  movement excess noise etc.)

She fights in a strange style with curved strikes and wide attacks (to give her a margin for error). Her attack pattern is usually swift and drawn out prodding for patterns and weaknesses in her opponent that she can exploit. Though she loves to run around in a fight, though she is the strongest when sitting back and letting loose her dust attacks. She also has a high pain tolerance and only heals her body if the injury is incapacitating in some way.

Kerry's fighting style is similar to a performance, she usually dons a character and uses her semblance and fighting to execute it. She is extremely mobile darting in and out of reach of her foes. Rashly sending waves of dust attacks at her foes.

WEAPON#1

Name:
Dust Crystals
Explanation:
In a reinforced messenger pouch Kerri keeps raw dust crystals.  Shards of dust crystals are in vials for more controlled uses. Kerri’s use is extremely primal and destructive, Simply channeling her aura through the crystal and blasting out the result in the desired direction. She can use some of the shards  to be more fine tuned but vastly less effective.
Note: Shards can be channeled through her aura to direct the dust  and/or to imbue her semblance.

Crystals:

Fire:
Amount:Crystal= 5 charges and 20 shards
Crystal: Makes a large(10 foot) plume of flame that can either be thrown directed or or dispersed. 15% chance of bodily damage against herself
Shard:creates a small plume of fire

Air:
Crystal= 3 charges and 12 shards
Thrown: Creates 10 foot cone of air that knocks back everything in the radius. 5% chance of bodily damage
Shard: Creates small bursts of air leaving slipstreams along its path

Neutral/Kinetic
Crystal= 5 charges and 20 shards
Crystal: Creates a 6 foot sphere Implosion at place of impact 10% chance of bodily damage against herself
Shard: Small kinetic impact (similar to a hard punch)

Lightning/ Raw energy
Crystal= 3 charges and 12 shards
Crystal:Creates a ball of superheated plasma that has to be redirected Extremely dangerous 60%chance of minor immolation and 10% chance of major bodily damage against herself
Shard: explodes on impact with an effect similar to a concussive flashbang

Equipment

Name:
Kinetic Waistguard
Primary Form:
With all of her clothes Kerri wears an armored underbust corset, on the sides front and back are kinetic dischargers which can propel Kerri (the equivalent of slingshotting her in a area). The resultant is fast and hard for her to control, her top velocity was clocked in at 20 mph. This throws Kerri in a direction making it extremely difficult to land and direct.


WEAPON#1

Name:
The Shaft
Primary Form:
An ornate White Cane (Blind Cane)
Secondary Form:
The Cane separates and becomes two short staffs with a chain. A sickle blade unfolds from the staffs. The weapon resembles a Kusarigama. It can be unfolded and used in different ways depending on the situation.

Spoiler: ShowHide





« Last Edit: September 19, 2016, 08:34:00 PM by terexia »

Flooberoid

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Re: Kerri Palidus
« Reply #1 on: September 16, 2016, 01:38:25 PM »
I'm not a staff member, so I can't approve or deny your profile. However, I can say a few things:
-Really skim through this looking for typos and punctuation errors. Kaliot will shred you for that.
-I'm assuming you're associated with or in contact with Uncouth T-Rex, considering your character's connection to Cherry Chainsaw.
-The image for symbol is far too large and the image for "The Shaft" isn't set up properly.
-Occupation section should also include that she's enrolled at Beacon, not just the year.
1st Year Beacon Students: ShowHide
Hagane Inaba- Can melt steel beams. Leader of team HTDG
Mint Fresch- A chipper gale.
Persimmon Burhan- A douche.
Carnation Prescott- Get it, CAREa? Sorry.
Lissa Lime- Beacon's spinning top
Jacob Stillwater- Nailed it


Literally everyone else: ShowHide
Patchouli Breschi- First year at Shade. Don't let her penetrate you.
Diamante Solar- Third Year at Beacon. Feel the Light of the Holy Noodle!
Dannum Sohrab- Professor of practical combat skills at Shade. Or at least that's his excuse to blow things up.
Crystal Evermore- Aura professor at Beacon Academy.


Now introducing my AMCA, complete with apathy!

terexia

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Re: Kerri Palidus
« Reply #2 on: September 17, 2016, 08:48:51 AM »
Fixed

Kaliot

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Re: Kerri Palidus
« Reply #3 on: September 17, 2016, 09:03:05 PM »
I haven't done a 100% review in a long time, Floob. What you talkin' 'bout? Also, blame Floob for this.

Quote
Occupation:

Beacon First Year, Humanitarian, Internet personality, Guitarist of Grimm Omen, Public Speaker,
Delete.

Quote
Appearance:
Facial appearance (with hair up):: ShowHide
[img=400x800]http://i.imgur.com/ddLPgFn.png[/img]
Fix image (tags).

Quote
Her clothing style is eccentric and Gothic,  usually based on the dress of past noble style (Victorian). From childhood she idolised the dress of old nobles and royals. She imagined herself in that world  as a child and that fantasy was one of the few comforts she could fall back on as a child. She now adds twisted themes and concepts of gothic style to match her devilish theme. (All of her clothing is handmade.)

Quote
Her casual attire tends to be the same
 gothic style, as her combat and band gear. she prefers dark clothing but loves dressing up, Her clothing style tends to change from day to day although it usually has the same Gothic themes. She usually modifies most bought clothes she wears in some way.
Accidental line break I assume.

Quote
was born in a slum located in outer Atlas She and her parents worked hard to survive .
Break into two with punctuation.

Quote
She took small scraps of material separated them and slowly but surely made them into renditions of pictures from the stories her parents read to ehr.

Quote
“Just a peek” she thought “Then i'll leave” curiosity mixing with determination to not let her journey be in vain made her press on.

Quote
She went to walk into the room before she heard a voice yell. “Stop!” Kerri tried to run did but her legs wouldn't move her body feld strange as if it was being puppeteered.


Quote
It was wonderful at first being in a place where no one knew her or her family. She started making acquaintances and became an internet celebrity using her developing social skill and apparent natural talent for emotional manipulation. However she found that with every passing day a sensation grew in her chest. One that called her to action.”. She tried her best to forget what happened however there was somethings she could never erase. The cold...the unbearable cold of the factory and the mines. It haunted her sleep, it ebbed away at her in nightmares and flashbacks. The only things that kept her warm was that sensation, it was a call to action. A call to repay help others, she became a public figure in the Faunus rights scene.
Delete?
Also, did she not try to contact her parents? It sounds like they are still alive.

Quote
She worked tirelessly to improve her faults but some days it seemed that even though some of her work in Signal was exemplary (especially when i came to explosives) after a while she became discouraged.
"it"

Quote
She went to signal periodically,  not bothering with most classwork that wasn't absolutely necessary.

Quote
Her well-run history with aura usage has also gifted her with the ability of presence, allowing her to vaguely feel if a person's aura or Grimm’s negative energy is within 100m of her, though she cannot tell direction only a rough distance unless she has had extremely close with the person dealings with the person for a long period of time.(aka either members of her band and/or her team after a few months)
Cut it off there and it'll probably be okay. Also, Grimm don't have auras so I would assume they also wouldn't emit any negative energies.

Quote
Statistics:
?

Quote
Fighting form:
She is extremely mobile darting in and out of reach of her foes.
Seems like something she wouldn't be able to do with her blindness, even with her abilities.

Quote
Name:
Dust Crystal's
Delete.

Explanation:
Quote
Shards of dust crystals are in vials for, more controlled uses.
Delete.

Quote
Crystals:
Are these percentages against her or her enemies?

Pretty good. Need to get rid of all the excessive space between some of the sections, though.
Pyre Persephone Delanto

Formatting

Characters: ShowHide

Sophea Devi Visorith - Beacon Nurse, Gardener, Health Nut, Scholar
Mao Visorith - First-Year Beacon Student, Team SFF[M]
Aurelia Caelius - Beacon Graduate, Huntress, Team [A]URM
Izumi Cremisi - Member of Obsidian Rose, Assassin, Thief, Arcade Enthusiast
Airi Fogden Bicardi - Second-Year Atlas Student, Family Heiress
Avery LeBlanc - Third-Year Atlas Student, Triplet, Duelist, Manipulator, Team SA[L]T | Threads [Team: ]
Yu Mei - Third-Year Haven Student
Suna Arevik - First-Year Shade Student, Scavenger-in-Training, Team S[S]MR
Mara Lev - Mercenary, de facto Leader of Siren

Worldbuilding: ShowHide

Mahava Plains - The bastion of Eastern Sanus
Obsidian Rose - Valish Criminal Organization

Flooberoid

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Re: Kerri Palidus
« Reply #4 on: September 17, 2016, 09:09:14 PM »
Blame me? Blame the man, man.
1st Year Beacon Students: ShowHide
Hagane Inaba- Can melt steel beams. Leader of team HTDG
Mint Fresch- A chipper gale.
Persimmon Burhan- A douche.
Carnation Prescott- Get it, CAREa? Sorry.
Lissa Lime- Beacon's spinning top
Jacob Stillwater- Nailed it


Literally everyone else: ShowHide
Patchouli Breschi- First year at Shade. Don't let her penetrate you.
Diamante Solar- Third Year at Beacon. Feel the Light of the Holy Noodle!
Dannum Sohrab- Professor of practical combat skills at Shade. Or at least that's his excuse to blow things up.
Crystal Evermore- Aura professor at Beacon Academy.


Now introducing my AMCA, complete with apathy!

terexia

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Re: Kerri Palidus
« Reply #5 on: September 18, 2016, 05:01:00 PM »
Fixed most suggestions :)
 
Damage is to herself

Also she had never been outside of her shantytown and she was transported far away to basically the other side of Atlas. It's very unlikely that they would be reunited.

Also I said she can do it, not that it was a good idea and that it worked out well when she did.

Kaliot

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Re: Kerri Palidus
« Reply #6 on: September 18, 2016, 05:10:01 PM »
+1
Pyre Persephone Delanto

Formatting

Characters: ShowHide

Sophea Devi Visorith - Beacon Nurse, Gardener, Health Nut, Scholar
Mao Visorith - First-Year Beacon Student, Team SFF[M]
Aurelia Caelius - Beacon Graduate, Huntress, Team [A]URM
Izumi Cremisi - Member of Obsidian Rose, Assassin, Thief, Arcade Enthusiast
Airi Fogden Bicardi - Second-Year Atlas Student, Family Heiress
Avery LeBlanc - Third-Year Atlas Student, Triplet, Duelist, Manipulator, Team SA[L]T | Threads [Team: ]
Yu Mei - Third-Year Haven Student
Suna Arevik - First-Year Shade Student, Scavenger-in-Training, Team S[S]MR
Mara Lev - Mercenary, de facto Leader of Siren

Worldbuilding: ShowHide

Mahava Plains - The bastion of Eastern Sanus
Obsidian Rose - Valish Criminal Organization

jjb2158

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Re: Kerri Palidus
« Reply #7 on: September 19, 2016, 05:11:00 PM »
I guess it's my turn now...I can't believe I actually read the entire character...it's well-written, but seriously...it felt like reading a book lol.

History:
I have a couple things here:
1. Due to the damage caused to her eyes from the dust, I highly doubt that she would've been able to get through it without going blind or having more damage than simply hemorrhaging in her eyes. Regardless, I'm fine with her still having her sight, but just add something (whether explain the surgery a bit more or have it so that her aura helped protect her eyes when it happened) to make it seem more plausible.
2. Seeing that she came from an extremely poor family and was missing for years, how was she able to get the money to travel from Atlas to Vale? Please indicate how she was able to travel there when she wouldn't have had any money to do that.

Semblance:
Truth be told, you actually have two different semblances listed: One being able to manipulate her aura to different looks or objects and the other being able to sense people and/or Grimm from 100 meters away. These are two completely different abilities and you're only allowed to have one as your semblance so please pick one and stick with that.

Combat Behavior:
One thing here: I'm seeing that she has a hard time with hand to hand combat due to it being difficult to see her opponents. Does this mean that her vision was affected due to what happened to her eyes prior? If that is the case, then please indicate this in her history.


Overall, the only thing that was confusing is whether she is blind or not. It's not indicated in her history, but everywhere else implies that she is. Please make sure that it is clear to everyone who would read this character.
First Year Beacon Student: Rackley Winchester - The Hawkeye Sniper currently Teamless

Second Year Beacon Student: Jett Davenport - The Playful Shadow Knight of Team MLDC (Melodic)

Third Year Beacon Student: Suntalia Lyn Ryker - The Voice of Thunder currently Teamless

Fourth Year Beacon Student: Savas Carnelian - The Quiet Berserker Leader of Team SARK (Stark)

Beacon Professor: Oberon Falcov - The Man With A Plan / Team Strategy Teacher of Beacon

terexia

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Re: Kerri Palidus
« Reply #8 on: September 19, 2016, 08:40:25 PM »
- Added much more statements that show she is blind.

- The second part is not her semblance , its an ability she had due to her mainly training her aura, and forgoing physical training. Her skill with aura is above average for a first year and therefore  I granted her on of the extra abilities were allowed to have.

Also ill just put this quote here:

Template Guide



Training: With sufficient training, characters can gain access to additional skills. These skills require specialized training in the use of Aura. They are not something that all huntsmen or students can do.
  • Detection: A 'sixth sense', the ability to detect nearby Grimm or Aura. This ability is always vague, and cannot grant specific details like number of targets, or exact location.
  • Strength: Aura can increase the force of your physical attacks, allowing you to perform great feats of strength like cutting Grimm in half repeatedly.
  • Blast: A wave of force can be emitted at a short range, damaging and knocking back targets.(Example: Lie Ren vs. King Taijitu, V1E6)


jjb2158

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Re: Kerri Palidus
« Reply #9 on: September 20, 2016, 10:15:00 AM »
Ahhhh, I must've missed that part about aura. Thanks for letting me know! :)

Everything looks good to me. Approved 2 of 2.
First Year Beacon Student: Rackley Winchester - The Hawkeye Sniper currently Teamless

Second Year Beacon Student: Jett Davenport - The Playful Shadow Knight of Team MLDC (Melodic)

Third Year Beacon Student: Suntalia Lyn Ryker - The Voice of Thunder currently Teamless

Fourth Year Beacon Student: Savas Carnelian - The Quiet Berserker Leader of Team SARK (Stark)

Beacon Professor: Oberon Falcov - The Man With A Plan / Team Strategy Teacher of Beacon