Author Topic: Tristan Pyrails  (Read 4133 times)

Swordslinger

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Tristan Pyrails
« on: January 01, 2017, 05:13:34 PM »
CHARACTER

Name: Tristan Pyralis

Age: 18, born on Klever 17th. 

Species and Gender: Human Female

Symbol: A roaring red Dragon located on her left shoulder plate.

Occupation: Second year huntress in training at Beacon academy 

Appearance: Flaming red hair with a fair complexion mark Tristan out from the crowd. Light blue eyes and a cocky smile make her stand out from the rabble, it helps that she stands at 5,5 and comes in at 149 lbs, unarmored. Her build is quite athletic, if a bit bottom heavy.

She usually wears a light metal chest piece with soft leather under the metal, with baggy jeans accented by a waist cape which extends to her lower knees. She also wears a single arm and shoulder guard on her left arm, which is the one she uses to hold up her grenade launcher, thus, more likely to be shot. What does it do? Not a lot aside from looking cool. She usually ties up her hair in a ponytail while wearing this getup to allow for clear vision though.

History:

Tristan's story is like so many others.

As a child, she grew hearing stories of Huntsmen and Huntresses, of heroes and saviors who would rush in to save the day, reap the rewards, get the maiden, and ride off into the sunset. But above all else, she loved the stories of her father, a Huntsmen by the name of Seigard who roamed the land, righting wrongs and fighting evil, a noble man by all accounts, but one who was never there. Despite this, Tristan always held him in high regard, despite her mother's misgivings.

That is, until, she actually met him.

He came home one day to one day to her sleepy little village on the coast of Vale, the reasons why eluded Tristan, who was merely eight at the time. During his visit, Tristan was called away by the local village elder, a one eyed man who seemed fond of crows and ravens for some reason. He was also a bit of a loon, but an entertaining one at least.

Until he started talking about horses, he never, ever stops talking about horses. A fact which Tristan learned all too well as he rambled on about this legged horse he saw once. No, Tristan didn't know what the high hell he was talking about, not because she was too young, but because she was completely and utterly bored. She wanted to talk to her long lost father dammit! That was the point of him being long lost, so she could have a dramatic confrontation with him! Nevermind that she was eight, inexperienced, and didn't know how to pronounce robits!  She had a duty, goddammit!

Well, those were the thoughts going through her head when the local loon told her to turn around and look at her house, which was on fire.

Tristan then took a few seconds to realize that yes, her home was currently burning to cinders.

Thankfully though, it was the only house that was currently burning, so the rest of her hometown was going down in a fit of smoke and flame. A few of the other townspeople had tired to stop the flames by throwing water on the building, but no matter what happened, the flames never seemed to go out. The odd thing was though, it wasn't as if the flames weren't simply going out, but it appeared something seemed to be controlling them, raising them up every time they were about to go out.

Though a few of the townspeople had tired to stop her, it wasn't very hard for Tristan to force her way into her burning home, what with the holes everywhere.

Inside, there was a grisly scene. Her father standing over her mother, bloodied sword in hand. What happened next, Tristan couldn't tell you, all that she knew was there was one of those old ornamental swords lying on the ground. It wasn't made for combat by any means, but the edge was chipped, making it a viable, if desperate weapon. To a normal person, it was an average length, but to her tiny body, it was a massive weapon.

The very next thing Tristan could remember was a scream, and the feeling of something warm splashing against her face. The very next next thing was her waking up in the local hospital with a bandage around her head and her mother sitting next to her. Surprise! Her mother was still alive with a few burn scars, but her father was no where to be seen.

As Tristan got older, she learned not to pester her mother about that night, seeing as it was too painful a memory for both of them. She tried at first, mind you, but her mother wouldn't talk, only cringe and look away sadly....So Tristan would choose to make her investigation a different way, but becoming a Huntsmen herself. Thankfully, she lived pretty close to school, and gaining enough money for Dust and weapons was easy when she started a fundraiser. People are always a sucker for a cute face...and the fact guilt trips work wonders when you show a picture of your burn scarred mother.

So, that's the story of a girl who wants to find her father....and throw him off a cliff. How does she intend to do this? Easy, Tristan knows of the Inquisition, a force she intends to join when she's older, but for now, she'll settle for Beacon.

Personality: Tristan is, for the lack of a better word, kinda selfish. She’s not much a team player, in fact, she’s hardly even a player at all. Unless there’s a sustainable reason, usually money or a grade, she’ll probably skip whatever it is. The truth of the matter is, Tristan’s a loner by nature, kinda arrogant, and doesn’t really care about other people unless she knows them personally.

She does have a few redeeming qualities though, whether or not they save her from being a jerk remains to the viewer’s discretion, but nevertheless, Tristan may not be very caring about people she doesn’t know, but she’s loyal to the people she does know. What’s important to her is what’s right in front of her, if it’s a person, she’ll fight tooth and nail to defend them. If it’s a goal, she’ll do whatever it takes to achieve it. Both very admirable traits, yet despite all that though, Tristan is still just an 18 year old girl, she does have wants and needs expected of one that age.

Like a “special someone” for instance….Or just pissing people off for the hell of it, either one, really, she’s a bit of a troll that way.



Aura and Semblance: Tristan’s semblance is simple in it’s concept and execution, it lets her spawn two large dragon wings out of her back in about one second. These two wings, both double her arm length, come out from behind her shoulder blades regardless of any clothing she’s wearing. Crimson in color, the two wings are leathery to touch, and if you felt along the top of them, you would discover a soft bone like structure running through them. That said, Tristan herself feels through wings, and would describe somebody else touching them as “Rubbing my naked back!”

They make for an decent shield against large area of effect attacks, and can make a fairly powerful gust of wind which allows her to “double jump”, and should she be high enough, make gilding easy for her. That said though, the semblance, while granting wings, is incapable of flight without outside assistance, as Tristan is too heavy for sustained lift. Not to mention, but due to the sheer size of the wings, bringing them out in melee combat is just asking for trouble, since any opponent worth their blade would just grab onto them and pull, throwing Tristan off balance with ease.   

Combat Behavior: Favoring a high risk, high reward style, Tristan is the first into the fight, swinging her massive greatsword with ease. By herself, Tristan has an average running speed, but with her chain hook, she can either pull herself, or the enemy, into range. With her wings, and if she’s high enough in the air, she’s free to pelt the enemy with her grenade launcher.  That said though, she doesn't have a lot of mobility options beyond the hook, so getting into the fray is easy, getting out is another thing entirely. As you might imagine with such a large sword, Tristan can only swing it either horizontally or vertically down, as she lacks the height required to make proper diagonal cuts or make upward strikes, since the blade would just hit the ground if she tired. This also makes her moves telegraphed and easy to read, so an on the ball opponent could just move out the way and strike when she's still recovering from the swing.

WEAPON

Name: Fanfir

Primary Form: A large, two handed, single edged greatsword with a red tint, it is approximately 5.4 feet in length and weighs about 12 pounds. Despite the size, Tristan is able to swing it quickly, but she is limited by the size of her sword vs her own. As such, despite the speed, she can only swing it horizontally or vertically, which, while it does not sound like much, it does limit her options.

Secondary Form: A grenade launcher held in a chainsaw grip to accommodate the weight of the folded greatsword. Positioned over the safe side of the blade, the blade itself folds up to accommodate easier aiming and uses 25 mm Dust rounds. The launcher is supplied thanks to an internal circle mag that acts as the cross guard of the sword.

Tertiary Form: The blade folds up into a smaller size which fits onto a back holster. There’s really nothing special about this mode, as it’s just storage mode for easy transport.

Dust Functions: As a grenade launcher, it can fire explosive Dust Rounds that vary on which type of round is loaded, but she prefers fire based rounds above all.

History: Tristan’s oldest weapon, modified, sharpened, re-sharped, forged and reforged. It has been with Tristan through thick and thin, and it will be with her at the end.

WEAPON

Name: Hooky.

Primary Form: A simple chain hook that Tristan uses either to pull herself, or the enemy, closer to her. It’s also useful when traversing the environment, since the hook can swing  Tristan upwards if there’s enough room for her to use her semblance. That said, it’s not meant to be a weapon, as it’s more a “tool” Tristan uses to augment her other abilities. In personal combat, using it takes up one of Tristan’s hands, and when using a greatsword, that’s just not a good idea. Not to mention the hook isn’t meant to be used in combat at all, since the only sharp part is at the tip, making anything but the odd swipe is an exercise in futility.   

Dust Functions: None whatsoever, it’s just a hook.

History: Made to close whatever gap in front of her, Tristan designed this hook to be more of a tool then a weapon in her pre-Beacon years.

Changes:

+Edited Combat Behavior to go with critique.

+Completely rewrote Character history.

+Clarified which school she was attending in occupation.
« Last Edit: January 06, 2017, 08:58:13 PM by Swordslinger »

Xarias Fury

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Re: Tristan Pyrails
« Reply #1 on: January 03, 2017, 09:37:23 PM »
Aside from the slight emboldening of the entire last paragraph it should be fine.

+1
Students
Wisteria Lockheart - 1st Year student at Beacon. "Don't make me throw a book at you"
Shiroe Pendragon - 1st Year Student at beacon - "This is my monochrome reality" - Team MARS
Lavender du Lac - 1st Year Student at Haven -  "The harder I try the further things drift away."
Ayaka Miyamoto - 1st Year student at Beacon. "Tsubame Gaeshi!" - Team ALIA
Vermilion Desdemona - 3rd Year Student at Beacon - "Only time you'd be above me is when your head rests on my pike"
Talen de L'eglantine - 3rd Year Student at Beacon
Kei Almas - 4th Year Student at Beacon - "Everything is ripe for the taking!"
Aurum LeBlanc - 3rd Year Student at Atlas - "Lay back, take it easy, and watch the comedy unfold"

Professors
Professor William Nox - "To contain the world in a grain of dust

jjb2158

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Re: Tristan Pyrails
« Reply #2 on: January 06, 2017, 03:13:41 PM »
A few things to note:

Occupation:
Please list which Academy she is attending.

History
If I may quote one thing from the Character Template and Rules:
Quote
Remember that details make your character more interesting, and paint a clearer picture of your character. However, there are many things that would have happened in your character's life that are minor and have little to no impact on their character. Filling the History section with many things that don't really explain your character makes the section long and often boring. Keep the details meaningful. Nobody cares what your character ate for breakfast yesterday, but if they eat the exact same thing for breakfast everyday because their parents demanded it would bring them good health, that could be important as it could shape their personality or mannerisms.
The history section should be used to help build/paint a picture of who your character is and make us understand who your character is and what they've been through to make them the way they are today. Most of what you've listed in her history section leaves much to wonder as well as have very little if no impact for the reader. You've left many things for us to wonder about: What was Tristan oblivious to? Who was the man that talked to her? What happened between the age of six to eighteen?

I get that you probably did this whole "mysterious" history ordeal on purpose, but it's not going to work for a character. Details are essential for a character creation and will be helpful for all of us who will read this character.

Combat Behavior:
I see a lot of her strengths, but no weaknesses. Please list at least 2 - 3 weaknesses.

That's about it for me.
First Year Beacon Student: Rackley Winchester - The Hawkeye Sniper currently Teamless

Second Year Beacon Student: Jett Davenport - The Playful Shadow Knight of Team MLDC (Melodic)

Third Year Beacon Student: Suntalia Lyn Ryker - The Voice of Thunder currently Teamless

Fourth Year Beacon Student: Savas Carnelian - The Quiet Berserker Leader of Team SARK (Stark)

Beacon Professor: Oberon Falcov - The Man With A Plan / Team Strategy Teacher of Beacon

Swordslinger

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Re: Tristan Pyrails
« Reply #3 on: January 06, 2017, 09:00:03 PM »
Alright, edited it according to suggestions.

jjb2158

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Re: Tristan Pyrails
« Reply #4 on: January 09, 2017, 11:32:26 AM »
Works for me.

Approved 2 of 2 and moved.
First Year Beacon Student: Rackley Winchester - The Hawkeye Sniper currently Teamless

Second Year Beacon Student: Jett Davenport - The Playful Shadow Knight of Team MLDC (Melodic)

Third Year Beacon Student: Suntalia Lyn Ryker - The Voice of Thunder currently Teamless

Fourth Year Beacon Student: Savas Carnelian - The Quiet Berserker Leader of Team SARK (Stark)

Beacon Professor: Oberon Falcov - The Man With A Plan / Team Strategy Teacher of Beacon