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Author Topic: Tieren Augus  (Read 409 times)

MonsterManic

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Tieren Augus
« on: February 11, 2017, 06:35:28 AM »
CHARACTER

Name: Tieren Augus

Age: 18

Species and Gender: Male Human

Symbol: A blue laurel wreath, with a golden caduceus staff in the middle

Occupation: First Year Beacon student

Appearance: Tieren normally looks as if he's just finished a bodybuilding session, which he pretty much always does. Standing at 5'10, he has brown hair which reaches his neck, with a slight tint of light blue at the ends. He has brown eyes, white skin, slightly tanned, and has several, shallow scars along the bottom of his right arm, which were caused by him testing his weapon. He sometimes wears a armband, high up on his left arm and normally hidden, which contains his symbol. He has broad shoulders and has a semi-obvious 6-pack. When not in school uniform, he wears a denim jacket and ripped trousers, paired with sneakers. In combat, he switches this for a loose blue T-shirt, worn under a light plate of chest armor. Tieren also wears a leather bracer on his right arm, and layered shoulder armor on his left shoulder. Otherwise, he goes unarmored for the rest of his body. Paired with his armor is a ammo belt, which he uses to reload his weapon. However, this is normally left half full, as Tieren doesn't really do range.

History: Tieren Augus was born and grew up in the rough streets of Vacuo, among a older brother, who was part of a Vacuan street gang, his mother, who was soft-spoken and timid, and his father, who, like Tieren, was a brash, stubborn person. Tieren, against his parents's wishes, wanted to join his brother's crew, obviously looking up to his brother as a role model (albeit a bad one). Unfortunately for Tieren, he was dismissed as a "runt" and "puny". This triggered Tieren's hotheadedness, and after hearing this, his father was determined to get Tieren into shape and show the Vacuan gang who was boss. Secretly, however, Tieren's father wanted to wean Tieren off the bad influence his brother had on him.

From the age of 7, Tieren was doing exercises his father specially designed for Tieren, to build up his muscles, strength and endurance at a young age, but careful not to overdo it. Tieren was taught to swim, use treadmills, lift weights, cycle, and stretch vital muscles, and moved on to benchpressing, endurance training, and bodybuilding at the age of 11. He was also taught rudimentary swordplay by a Huntsman, who was impressed by Tieren's determination.
At the age of 16, Tieren returned to the Vacuan gang to find his brother had left long ago, kicked out in a coup by the new leader, one of Tieren's doubters. Tieren challenged each and every member to a brawl, and even the leader, who once scoffed at the scrawny runt, was shocked at the massive change in Tieren. Soon, the leader surrendered in order to save some of the gang's dignity, and offered up an ancient, massive piece of tempered steel as extra compensation. The piece of steel, which took 3 people to carry, Tieren hoisted with ease.

Remembering the time the Huntsman had taught him basic swordplay, he carried the steel to a sword-smith to forge into something he could hold with more ease, while he asked his parents about the path he should take now. Seeing the fire within Tieren, like his father before him, they recommended a path as a Huntsman, where he could put his strength to good use, unlike being in a gang. However, Tieren had had enough of fighting in Vacuo, and instead, after collecting his new-forged blade, packed his belongings and set out for Vale, bringing with him one of his father's prized possessions: A beautiful, blue-and-white shield from the days when his father was spry enough to hunt.

Arriving at Vale, Tieren found out he could not attend Beacon, Shade Academy's counterpart, without first either going through Signal Academy, or passing a entrance test. Recognising that he was too old to join Signal, Tieren could only do the Entrance Test, one of which he was almost guaranteed to fail in: since he had received almost no education, he could not pass the Academic Test. Realising this, Tieren now needed a way to ace the remaining two tests, one of which he needed a weapon for. The way he fought currently was not a way that Tieren particularly liked: massive sword in one hand, shield in the other. This was very unwieldy for Tieren, especially with the massive blade that would have been easier to wield with two hands, or held at another angle. Moreover, everyone seemed to have some sort of gun, putting Tieren at a natural disadvantage, even with his bulk and strength.

By a stroke of luck, Tieren bumped into the Huntsman who first taught him how to use a sword, inside a smithy. Tieren was attempting to figure out how he would use his sword by examining the kinds of weapons everyone else was using. The Huntsman solved all of his problems with one stroke: by combining sword, shield and gun together, he would only need one hand to wield all three, and have his other hand free for anything else. Armed with what Tieren now called his GN Blade, he entered the Entrance Exam. Flunking the Academic Exam and easily acing the Sparring Test, the staff were astonished by Tieren's GN Blade and the way he used it to decimate foes with one hefty swing. With that, Tieren was admitted into Beacon with a stern warning to up his academic results, or he would be kicked out.

Personality: Tieren is hotheaded. Very, very, VERY hotheaded. And with that, comes stubbornness, willfulness, short-lived temper, and a desire to break anyone, or anything, that is in his way. He's the kind of person, who, when given an obstacle that can easily be bypassed, will instead attempt to power through it instead. As such, he has frequent breakups with his friends, but eventually (after a long time and multiple glasses of iced lemon tea) he will see his mistakes. Sometimes.

Beneath this stubborn attitude, however, lies a caring soul ready to lay down most everything to protect the people he cares about, backed up by his strong-headed will. Tieren believes that all people are equal, including Faunus, and thus whenever he sees any sign of Faunus inequality, he is not remotely afraid of speaking his mind. (For speaking, read shouting...maybe yelling).

With all that strong will, Tieren is not the best at returning insults, retorts or exchanging words in general. He gets very angry if people start saying things he cannot return, and that's when he brings out his catchphrase "Actions speak louder than words. Especially if they have a fist to their face."
One certain way to calm Tieren down is by giving him his favourite drink, iced lemon tea. This almost guarantees that Tieren returns to a semi-neutral state, but he isn't bribed by others, just his friends.

Aura and Semblance: Tieren's Aura color, surprisingly, is a calm, cool indigo blue, especially considering Tieren's hotheadedness. Tieren's aura is much better at deflecting blows than actually healing wounds, or any other Aura ability, for that matter. He has an average amount of aura.

Tieren can sometimes get well and properly pissed. When that happens, his semblance kicks in, which is reflected in his Aura color: the angrier Tieren gets, the darker his Aura goes, ending in a dark navy blue. In this state, his Aura becomes significantly stronger at absorbing attacks, but significantly weaker at everything else. This allows Tieren to shrug off attacks he would normally feel if not angry, but he feels the full impact when he calms down. This is a passive semblance, and he cannot choose when to use it.

Spoiler: More details • show
The limits of his semblance can only go up to so far. For example, say a hammer blow from Magnhild would take 15% of Tieren's aura. At max rage, Tieren would only take half of that damage, 8%. At half rage, he would take 2/3rds of the damage. However, if an attack is too powerful to be properly deflected, say Magnhild's 6-shot grenade barrage, Tieren will take the same amount of damage. Dust effects apply before the deflection, so if kinetic dust added more damage to a bullet, Tieren's semblance would kick in after the additional damage. However, if the dust effects make the hit deal more than 20%, Tieren's semblance cannot deflect the hit.
Further examples:
Longsword-10% base aura damage-8% taken at half rage-5% taken at full
Pistol-5% base aura damage per shot-4% taken at half rage-3% taken at full
Things that Tieren cannot block:
Sniper Rifle shots, grenade/rockets, basically anything that does above 20% of Tieren's aura without reduction. Multiple attacks, say from more than one person, will be calculated as separate hits. Same with machine-guns, each bullet is counted as a separate attack.
Negatives: Tieren's Aura abilities (regeneration) might as well not exist at max rage, and it barely does at half either. So none of that regen. Nor anything else, for that matter.


Combat Behavior: Tieren is the definition of front-line fighter. In battle, you will never see him in the back lines, or anywhere else, but the front, up close and in the enemy's face. His GN Blade provides him with an ideal weapon to be brawling with, while his Semblance allows him to shrug off enemy attacks for a extended duration of time, putting massive pressure on Tieren's opponent. This, however, has several obvious weaknesses: Tieren cannot fight those which he cannot reach. Thus, any long-range firearm will counter Tieren's fighting style, as the GN Blade's Range form is rarely used by Tieren; instead, he prefers to chase them down rather than shoot. Anyone who can dance around Tieren's powerful sword strokes can wear him down eventually. However, due to the GN Blade's absurdly long reach, any rapiers or even lances will struggle to outrange the GN Blade.

WEAPON

Name: GN Blade

Primary Form: Tieren's GN Blade really should be called something else than just a "blade", but Tieren couldn't be bothered. In reality, it's a small, semi-automatic Dust pistol, attached to a small, blue and white, diamond-shaped, elongated shield, extending to Tieren's elbow. Oh, and a massive, tempered-steel buster sword, folded on the bottom of the whole device on a hinge, and a medium-length sheathing device. The whole blade is around 30 inches long, folded up. The GN Blade's primary form, or the Range form, consists of Tieren just using the Dust pistol like any pistol. This form is rarely used as Tieren just loves the up-and-close method of fighting. As such, Tieren's accuracy is mediocre at best, and if panicked, will squeeze off every round in quick succession, causing even less accurate shots.
The Dust pistol fires 9mm caliber bullets, and only uses Dust as a way to fire the bullets. The rounds themselves do not benefit from any kind of Dust. These bullets have a effective range of 45 meters. Each clip holds 10 bullets.

Simplified: Think of a pistol. Then think of a shield attached to the right-hand side of the pistol. Now think of a big-ass blade underneath the pistol and your arm, facing backwards, with no hilt or handle. There's the Range form.

Secondary Form: This is where the GN Blade spends most of it's time in combat. In the GN Blade's Blade form, the buster sword unhinges from beneath the GN Blade's sheath, swinging upwards via a spring mechanism, and locks in place pointing forward, the base of the blade in front of the pistol, deactivating the pistol and locked in place via a self-locking mechanism. Fully extended, the entire sword doubles the length of Tieren's arm, giving him an absurd reach. In this mode, the GN Blade gains massive slicing power, as it was designed for that purpose. The entire blade is a dull grey color, with hints of white.

Simplified: Take your mental image of the Range form. Move the blade from under your arm to in front of the pistol, blocking off the barrel, with the tip pointing forward instead of up. There's the Blade form.


History: Tieren wanted a weapon with massive power up close, yet didn't want to be swinging a mace or morningstar around. He also didn't want to burden himself with holding a shield with one hand and a sword in the other, let alone carry a gun. The end result was a mix of all three, emphasizing the destructive capability of the GN Blade and Tieren's love of close combat. The prototype GN Blade left numerous scars on Tieren's wielding arm from the folded blade, thus the reason why Tieren now wears a bracer. The blade itself was forged from ancient tempered steel that Tieren acquired from the Vacuan gang.
« Last Edit: February 23, 2017, 01:40:20 PM by MonsterManic »
Setsuna Antiqua -First Year Beacon Leader, Team ASTC "You will always have my shield."

Tina Allan -First Year Beacon Member, Team ATLA "clickclickclickclickclick"

Tieren Augus -First Year Beacon Student "If something doesn't go down in one hit, hit it again"

Kei Tsz Fung -Fourth Year Beacon Transfer Member, Team SARK "Let me enjoy my own company, alone."

Lunae Terenas -Second Year Beacon Student "Are fireworks allowed in Beacon?"

FunkyMonkey

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Re: Tieren Augus
« Reply #1 on: February 15, 2017, 02:17:12 AM »
+1

MonsterManic

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Re: Tieren Augus
« Reply #2 on: February 18, 2017, 10:50:30 AM »
Was originally posting bump, but realised it wasnt the right time. Apologies.
« Last Edit: February 18, 2017, 11:03:47 AM by MonsterManic »
Setsuna Antiqua -First Year Beacon Leader, Team ASTC "You will always have my shield."

Tina Allan -First Year Beacon Member, Team ATLA "clickclickclickclickclick"

Tieren Augus -First Year Beacon Student "If something doesn't go down in one hit, hit it again"

Kei Tsz Fung -Fourth Year Beacon Transfer Member, Team SARK "Let me enjoy my own company, alone."

Lunae Terenas -Second Year Beacon Student "Are fireworks allowed in Beacon?"

MonsterManic

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Re: Tieren Augus
« Reply #3 on: February 22, 2017, 05:06:21 AM »
Now I can post.

Bump
Setsuna Antiqua -First Year Beacon Leader, Team ASTC "You will always have my shield."

Tina Allan -First Year Beacon Member, Team ATLA "clickclickclickclickclick"

Tieren Augus -First Year Beacon Student "If something doesn't go down in one hit, hit it again"

Kei Tsz Fung -Fourth Year Beacon Transfer Member, Team SARK "Let me enjoy my own company, alone."

Lunae Terenas -Second Year Beacon Student "Are fireworks allowed in Beacon?"

jjb2158

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Re: Tieren Augus
« Reply #4 on: February 23, 2017, 12:49:16 PM »
Okay, I'll do your second review.

Semblance:
After reviewing the semblance and talking to the other mods, I'm going to have to say that this is actually two semblance abilities: the first being that he can deflect/shrug off attacks the angrier he gets, and the second being that he can change his emotions at will.
Also, after looking it over, I will have to say that you can't have both abilities because it basically allows him to be at his most powerful without any issues. So, that said, you're going to have to pick only one of those abilities and go with that. Once you've picked your semblance then I will do a more detailed review on it.

Weapon:
Two things here:
1. First, I'll be honest, I can't really picture how the weapon is a pistol, shield, sword, and sheathe all at the same time. Can you try and better explain the primary form so it's easier to understand for the reader? Either that or get/make a picture.
2.
Quote
When the GN Blade is being transformed, the unhinging motion alone is enough to cut a tree in half.
Okay, no. Just no. The amount of force it would take to cut a tree in half would destroy the hinge on the weapon, whether on the first time it happens or just over time. This just won't work so I suggest you remove it.
First Year Beacon Student: Rackley Winchester - The Hawkeye Sniper of Team CRSA (Crystal)

Second Year Beacon Student: Jett Davenport - The Playful Shadow Knight of Team MLDC (Melodic)

Third Year Beacon Student: Suntalia Lyn Ryker - The Voice of Thunder of Team SODR (Soldier)

Fourth Year Beacon Student: Savas Carnelian - The Quiet Berserker (Teamless)

Beacon Professor: Oberon Falcov - The Man With A Plan / Team Strategy Teacher of Beacon

MonsterManic

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Re: Tieren Augus
« Reply #5 on: February 23, 2017, 01:06:32 PM »
Edits:
Semblance changed to only deflection. More details added.
Removed hinge problem.
There is a link to a picture under the secondary mode section. Attempted to better explain weapon.
Also, I should really just stick to the basics when it comes to weapons. I always go a bit too far.
« Last Edit: February 23, 2017, 01:17:30 PM by MonsterManic »
Setsuna Antiqua -First Year Beacon Leader, Team ASTC "You will always have my shield."

Tina Allan -First Year Beacon Member, Team ATLA "clickclickclickclickclick"

Tieren Augus -First Year Beacon Student "If something doesn't go down in one hit, hit it again"

Kei Tsz Fung -Fourth Year Beacon Transfer Member, Team SARK "Let me enjoy my own company, alone."

Lunae Terenas -Second Year Beacon Student "Are fireworks allowed in Beacon?"

jjb2158

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Re: Tieren Augus
« Reply #6 on: February 23, 2017, 01:54:04 PM »
Better! Much better! That said, all my issues were address.

Approved 2 of 2.
First Year Beacon Student: Rackley Winchester - The Hawkeye Sniper of Team CRSA (Crystal)

Second Year Beacon Student: Jett Davenport - The Playful Shadow Knight of Team MLDC (Melodic)

Third Year Beacon Student: Suntalia Lyn Ryker - The Voice of Thunder of Team SODR (Soldier)

Fourth Year Beacon Student: Savas Carnelian - The Quiet Berserker (Teamless)

Beacon Professor: Oberon Falcov - The Man With A Plan / Team Strategy Teacher of Beacon