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Author Topic: Lunae Terenas  (Read 377 times)

MonsterManic

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Lunae Terenas
« on: March 16, 2017, 08:04:23 AM »
CHARACTER

Name: Lunae "Luna" Terenas

Age: 18

Species and Gender: Human Female

Symbol: Three used cartridges falling to the floor, outlined by an orange explosion

Occupation: Second Year Beacon Academy student

Appearance: A 5'4, energetic and happy-go-lucky girl, Lunae has brown, almost blonde hair accented with gold which is kept in a ponytail, light blue eyes with flecks of grey, a friendly face and a wide smile. She wears a yellow crescent moon earring on her left ear, and has a pin shaped like a bullet which she uses to hold up her ponytail. She normally goes pretty hard on the makeup, altering her look but not enough to make her seem strange, sticking to the basics like eye shadower and powder.

Lunae shuns the school uniform for a more revealing orange corset under a brown and white tank top, usually covered by a leather jacket with shortened sleeves and trimmed waistline. She also wears a short grey combat skirt, complete with brown combat boots. These boots have spikes that extend and retract at the press of a inner button, anchoring Lune to the ground and reducing recoil from her weapon. An alternate outfit has her wearing a bright orange and black hoodie, resembling multiple nuclear explosions, and biker trousers(despite her not owning a motorbike) for more casual occasions. She normally grabs whatever footwear is close at hand, no matter if it goes well with the clothes she is wearing or not.

History: Lunae has had as peaceful a life as any could have wished for, living in a gun shop located in Vale, owned by her father and uncle. The shop had many customers, and thus Lunae was blessed with a well-off family and income. Her uncle also ran a small smuggling business that specialised in Atlas tech, and resold the stolen goods in their store. But, of course, Lunae didn't know about that.

When she was young, she was immersed in stories of being a Huntress, thanks to the stream of Hunters purchasing from their store and taking time to intrigue Lunae with tales of Grimm being slain by them, several of which may or may not have been over-exaggerated. This piqued Lunae's interest, and she asked her father to bring her to see Hunters in action. Her father refused for the reason that it was too dangerous for a young girl, but promised that he would make it up for her. True to his word, her father got tickets to a fireworks show along the coast of a nearby village. The fireworks show was small, but to the childish eyes of Lunae, it was one of the most beautiful things in existence, especially with Remnant's shattered moon in the background. While other kids her age covered their ears and hid behind their parent's legs as normal kids do, Lunae basked in both the light from the fireworks and the explosive crackles and pops. She was later brought to the firework cannon and it was like she found a long-lost treasure, such was her excitement at seeing the thing that created such fun for her. The staff had to drag her away from the machine before she started climbing all over the machinery.

The next day, her father walked into the store to see Lunae struggling to lift a 8-kg bazooka and about to pull the trigger, aimed right at the house next door. He dashed over to lift her away from the weapon of destruction, before looking up to see Lunae's uncle doubled over with laughter at the shock on her father's face. He'd set it up all along with a blank charge, just for a laugh, it turned out. Looking back at Lunae in his arms, her face filled with wonder, he felt obliged to take the rocket launcher out for a demonstration. She delighted in both the noise and the explosion that the rocket made. The neighbors were less amused. This only solidified Lunae's love for explosive weapons, much to her parents's astonishment. However, they still had control over her life, and demanded that if she was to use such weapons, she had to learn every dang safety rule to using such dangerous equipment. She instantly and happily agreed, if only to be able to wield such tools of pure awesomeness.

Her father agreed to start teaching Lunae the proper way to use explosives when she was at the right age, as well as the basics of being a Huntress, seeing as she was learning to use weapons. She had already been attending school, so academics wasn't much of a problem. The more obvious topic was the way she was going to use her chosen weapon, as she couldn't start unloading rockets wherever she liked. Besides, those rockets were expensive. The cost problem was solved in a unexpected way when Lunae was out practicing proper procedure with a stock RPG. Without realising, she had stopped reloading and was just unleashing rocket after rocket, before suddenly feeling faint and blacking out. When she awoke, she was in her bed, with her parents hovering protectively over her. They explained that she may have unlocked her semblance, as the rockets she was firing were glowing a bright orange. That, and the hardly recognisable remains of the training range.

With her Semblance unlocked, her parents were a bit more confident in Lunae's capabilities to handle herself well enough to leave her alone. On her 18th birthday, Lunae was gifted with a brand-new, custom RPG designed and built by her father, signifying their acceptance for Lunae to join Beacon via the entrance exam, which she passed with moderate results in all departments. For her, the first year of being a Huntress-in-training did not disappoint the eager girl, as she got stuck in to everything that Beacon had to offer, and eagerly awaits the surprises and challenges her second year has to offer.

Personality: Loud, confident, self-sure are some of the most common words used to describe Lunae. Those traits allow her to easily engage in conversation, even with strangers. However, this does not mean she befriends every person she meets; rather, she finds it hard to actually make proper friends at times. Her confidence is the main reason why she jumps headlong into most things, trusting her instincts and her weaponry to bail her out if something goes awry (which it does sometimes). This does put her in trouble when fighting Grimm, as her overconfidence puts her in tough spots at times. Her loud voice is another defining feature, and as she likes to say: "Being able to be heard anywhere at anytime is a essential thing." Energetic in most situations (apart from school), Lunae is athletic for her age, but at the same time, she isn't incredible at school subjects in general. She is not afraid to pull some...mature stops to get what she wants from others sometimes, but does not do it for the fun of it.

When people ask her "Why did you want to become a Huntress?", they are mostly astonished by her answer of "Because I can see the pretty explosions!" She loves loud noises, and especially adores firework shows, being the source of her enjoyment. She has an obsession of sorts toward any weapon that makes a big bang, and will go as far as to stare straight at a flash-bang with sunglasses on.

Aura and Semblance: Lunae has a orange aura, and she has a large aura pool to draw from when using her Semblance. However, she is not good at using her aura for anything else than regeneration, but her stamina regenerates faster than others.

Lunae's Semblance, Salvo Core, allows her to manifest her aura as projectiles. More specifically, any weapon she is touching, she can provide infinite ammo for, as long as she has the stamina for it. The ammo she manifests out of aura will retain all of the original ammo's characteristics (caliber, size, etc) but will not copy any dust effects. This includes any special, custom-made ammo with whatever special effects it originally had. The same goes for any explosive weaponry, like RPGs and grenade launchers. Basically, this means Lunae can pick up any gun and use it regardless of ammo. Oh, and she doesn't have to reload either, as the bullets/rockets manifest in the magazine/launch tube, allowing for instantaneous discharge of the projectile. However, she cannot rapid-fire her RPG due to the recoil. The ammo created by said Semblance eventually dissipates within 10 seconds after being fired. Any bullet or rocket created by Lunae's Semblance glows orange, making them easily recognisable. If any gun with manifested bullets leaves contact with Lunae, the bullets dissipate. However, she cannot use this Semblance limitlessly. Think of it as having 3 "charges", which take time to come off cooldown. The larger the clip/projectile that Lunae creates, the longer it takes to recharge.
Spoiler: more details • show
Lunae has used her semblance most with her selected weapons, and thus requires less effort to manifest ammunition for them. However, if using her semblance on other weapons, she has to use more stamina to create the same amount of ammo for, per say, a magazine for a pistol. The stamina used varies on the amount of ammo, the size (caliber) of the bullet and any special features included. The base stamina numbers are as follows (for reference):
For her own weapons:
30-round magazine for rifle: 8%, 6 second cooldown
Grenade for attachment: 3%, 4 second CD
Rocket for RPG: 8%, 8 second CD
10-round magazine for pistol: 2%, 3 second CD

Other weapons that aren't hers:
10-round mag for pistol: 4%, 5 second CD
15-30 round mag for machine-gun: 10%, 8 second CD
6-round mag for sniper-rifle: 8%, 8 second CD
1 grenade/1 rocket for grenade/rocket launcher: 12%, 10 second CD


Lunae's Semblance can be further upgraded/improved via a one-use Foci, infused with powdered Ice Dust. This said Foci is the aforementioned "cartridge" pin that holds up her ponytail. When used, she loosens the pin, letting down her hair and gaining a more wild, unkempt appearance. Her Aura gains a slight light-blue tinge, and all ammo created gains a small freezing effect. This does not change the recoil, however. In her RPG's case, any rockets created/fired create ice shards that spread on contact, like a frag grenade. The Foci's effects last around 10 seconds.

Combat Behavior: A modified RPG and a assault rifle with a grenade launcher attachment means that whatever Lunae chooses to do, it'll be very, very loud, and very, very powerful. Using the destructive firepower of her weapon, she can provide cover fire and shell out positions, forcing her enemies out into the open, where she can shoot them with her assault rifle. She is by all means the heavy artillery of the team, most effective at medium-to-long range.

All that being said, she has very exposed weaknesses, lack of ammo being the main concern. When she runs out of stamina, her RPG is useless, as she doesn't carry a single rocket with her. Her assault rifle only has a total of 3 magazines, or 90 rounds, which isn't a lot for prolonged engagements. As well as that, her choice of heavy weaponry leaves her largely immobile, even with the rifle, and her utter lack of melee capabilities (bar a simple combat knife, which she is rubbish at using) means if she gets jumped, she is a sitting duck.

Simply put, Lunae counts on the sheer power of her weapons to repel or fight off enemies, while simultaneously either keeping enemies in one spot via cover fire, or driving enemies out of hiding locations via RPG bombardment.

WEAPONS

Name: Barbatos

Primary Form: Customised rocket-propelled grenade launcher with a sight which swivels to fit the user. Has about the same range as a sniper rifle. That's basically it. Lunae doesn't even carry ammo for it due to her Semblance. However, the rockets it fires do just about the same, if not more, than one of Magnhild's grenades.
Fire, hit, go kaboom. When not in direct usage but in combat, the RPG is slung behind Lunae's right shoulder, and when needed, unfolds over her shoulder, exposing the sight which moves in front of Lunae's right eye. A handle and tripod grip unfolds from the base of the firing mechanism in this mode. Otherwise, it is held like a normal RPG.

Secondary Form: The grip and trigger disconnect from the whole launch tube, revealing a modified pistol that fires standard pistol bullets. Holds up to 10 rounds per magazine, but Lunae only carries the one always inside the pistol.

Storage Form: The discharge tube disconnects from the firing mechanism and trigger. The tube is then stored horizontally across the back of Lunae's waist, while the firing mechanism is holstered at Lunae's side.

History: Designed and built by her father, this RPG was Lunae's birthday gift and her most treasured "boom boom" weapon.

Name: Lupus

Primary Fire: An assault rifle with a obligatory grenade launcher attachment under the rifle's barrel. Has a iron sight on the top rail. Holds 30 assault rifle rounds in a single mag, and has a effective firing range of a normal rifle. Has two modes, one of which is a 3-round burst mode and the other being semi-auto. Lunae carries 2 extra clips apart from the one always loaded.

Secondary Fire: A single-shot grenade launcher attachment, its primary purpose being to engage enemies that cannot be reached by direct fire. Lunae only carries one grenade shot with her, using her Semblance to reload. Fires separately from the main gun.

History: A basic, easy-to-use weapon taken from the gun store, Lunae chose this for both it's versatility and the grenade attachment, designed for use in medium range.

Name: Rex

Primary Form: A simple, 6-inch combat knife, black with a white rim. Stored at Lunae's waist.

History: A temporary melee weapon for when Lunae is desperate, this knife was picked by Lunae just to defend herself. She was hesitant to carry anything that didn't even make a sound, but a practice round with a sparring instructor changed her mind after she got steamrolled at close range.
« Last Edit: April 05, 2017, 10:20:05 AM by MonsterManic »
Setsuna Antiqua -First Year Beacon Leader, Team ASTC "You will always have my shield."

Tina Allan -First Year Beacon Member, Team ATLA "clickclickclickclickclick"

Tieren Augus -First Year Beacon Student "If something doesn't go down in one hit, hit it again"

Kei Tsz Fung -Fourth Year Beacon Transfer Member, Team SARK "Let me enjoy my own company, alone."

Lunae Terenas -Second Year Beacon Student "Are fireworks allowed in Beacon?"

jjb2158

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Re: Lunae Terenas
« Reply #1 on: March 18, 2017, 07:44:46 PM »
Overall, everything was looking good...

...until I got to her weapon section...

So, to really make it clear, I'm going to quote from the Character Creation rules:

Quote
Thanks to people wanting to wave around broken science in a dick measuring contest, high tech weapons are now based on a trust system. That is, if we trust you enough to make it, you can have it. In addition, if a weapon is deemed to be OP, or over powered, it is denied. It doesn't matter if it exists in real life or not.

That all said, unfortunately I'm going to have to deem the two miniaturized vulcan miniguns as OP and will have to deny them. It's not because of trust, but simply because that's just OP. This isn't only my own opinion, but the opinion of the other staff as well. Here's just a few reasons why:

1. First, the weight. Take into account that a minigun weighs roughly 82lbs, I'll just cut it in half and say the miniaturized ones weight 41lbs, making it 82lbs for two of them. Add that on top of her exoskeletal arms, you're talking about something that weighs well around 120lbs at least. Now add the weight of the ammunition (one 20mm bullet weighs .22lbs) that she carries and that's an extra 66lbs, making it a total of 185lbs at least. I don't care how strong your character is, having a 5'4" girl carry that much weight alone would be ridiculous and not even possible to conceive.

2. Second, the weapon itself. A minigun shoots roughly 2,000 - 6,000 rounds/minute, or 33 - 60 rounds/second. Shooting that many rounds is simply overkill and OP, not to mention the fact that she wouldn't even have enough rounds to even do much in a prolonged fight, as she would run out of bullets and stamina after one minute at most.

3. Third, the bullets. Having her shoot 20mm rounds, or AKA autocannon rounds, is also overkill. Those types of rounds are made specific to take down heavily armored vehicles, planes, and/or buildings. That said, these would shred through Grimm and humans alike without any hesitation, which is also why this is deemed OP.

These are just some of the reasons why I'm denying the weapon. Again, this is nothing against you (You should know I don't have anything against you :) ), but this is simply to keep things fair and equal on the board. Please feel free to PM me if you have any questions/concerns, but for now, you're going to have to change the miniguns.



Aside from the weapon issue, the only other issue I have is with her semblance. I have a couple things here:

1. Does the semblance make the ammunition already appear in the gun? Or does she have to reload her weapon whenever it's used? Please clarify this.
2. Due to the sheer power it adds to her weapons, I'm actually gonna ask that you add a cool down between each use of her semblance. I say this so that she doesn't spam her semblance to the point of it being OP. The cool down doesn't need to be a long period of time, but will still need to prevent over usage of it.

That more or less covers it for me. Again, feel free to PM me if you have any questions/concerns.
First Year Beacon Student: Rackley Winchester - The Hawkeye Sniper of Team CRSA (Crystal)

Second Year Beacon Student: Jett Davenport - The Playful Shadow Knight of Team MLDC (Melodic)

Third Year Beacon Student: Suntalia Lyn Ryker - The Voice of Thunder of Team SODR (Soldier)

Fourth Year Beacon Student: Savas Carnelian - The Quiet Berserker (Teamless)

Beacon Professor: Oberon Falcov - The Man With A Plan / Team Strategy Teacher of Beacon

MonsterManic

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Re: Lunae Terenas
« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2017, 06:10:53 PM »
Edits:

Added "charges" system to Semblance to act as cooldown.

Rewrote small amount of history to match up with further edits, like:

Complete rework of weaponry
Removal of any irrelevant information
Clarification of Semblance (Yes, it appears in the chamber, no reloading required)
Setsuna Antiqua -First Year Beacon Leader, Team ASTC "You will always have my shield."

Tina Allan -First Year Beacon Member, Team ATLA "clickclickclickclickclick"

Tieren Augus -First Year Beacon Student "If something doesn't go down in one hit, hit it again"

Kei Tsz Fung -Fourth Year Beacon Transfer Member, Team SARK "Let me enjoy my own company, alone."

Lunae Terenas -Second Year Beacon Student "Are fireworks allowed in Beacon?"

jjb2158

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Re: Lunae Terenas
« Reply #3 on: March 20, 2017, 08:52:25 PM »
I almost +1 the whole thing....

...until I ran into this...

Quote
The grip and trigger disconnect from the whole launch tube, revealing a modified pistol that fires .50 caliber bullets. Holds up to 10 rounds per magazine, but Lunae only carries the one always inside the pistol.

Can I just ask that you please specify which .50 caliber bullets it's using? Because, there are two different types as seen here:

Spoiler: show


There's the .50 cal BMG round (on the right) and the .50 cal AE round (on the left). Now, I'm hoping that you're referring to the .50 cal AE round because if it's the .50 cal BMG round then I am outright denying that. Please specify that and then we can go from there.
« Last Edit: March 20, 2017, 08:54:05 PM by jjb2158 »
First Year Beacon Student: Rackley Winchester - The Hawkeye Sniper of Team CRSA (Crystal)

Second Year Beacon Student: Jett Davenport - The Playful Shadow Knight of Team MLDC (Melodic)

Third Year Beacon Student: Suntalia Lyn Ryker - The Voice of Thunder of Team SODR (Soldier)

Fourth Year Beacon Student: Savas Carnelian - The Quiet Berserker (Teamless)

Beacon Professor: Oberon Falcov - The Man With A Plan / Team Strategy Teacher of Beacon

MonsterManic

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Re: Lunae Terenas
« Reply #4 on: March 21, 2017, 02:25:44 AM »
Holy Mother of Christ on a stick. Definitely AE rounds.

I'm wondering, do we absolutely need to specify what caliber the gun uses when describing the weapon? Because so far this is the most trouble I've had with a weapon profile. I'd prefer to maybe keep it a bit simpler and remove the caliber, but I'm not sure if that would pass.
Setsuna Antiqua -First Year Beacon Leader, Team ASTC "You will always have my shield."

Tina Allan -First Year Beacon Member, Team ATLA "clickclickclickclickclick"

Tieren Augus -First Year Beacon Student "If something doesn't go down in one hit, hit it again"

Kei Tsz Fung -Fourth Year Beacon Transfer Member, Team SARK "Let me enjoy my own company, alone."

Lunae Terenas -Second Year Beacon Student "Are fireworks allowed in Beacon?"

Janus Rogo

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Re: Lunae Terenas
« Reply #5 on: March 21, 2017, 06:57:39 AM »
You don't need to specify exact calibers. There's no rule against it, but it is occasionally nice to have that detail. When you do is generally when I get involved, though, and I'm pretty good with guns. Also you should change the names of the  weapons. I doubt Remnant has US Military weapon naming conventions.

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Re: Lunae Terenas
« Reply #6 on: March 21, 2017, 10:15:16 AM »
As Janus stated, you don't need to specify the exact caliber unless absolutely necessary to explain the type of weapon your character is using (which oftentimes isn't needed anyways). You literally could've said "A modified pistol that shoots desert eagle rounds" or "A modified pistol that shoots larger caliber pistol rounds" and that would've worked perfectly. The more specific you get with the rounds, the more specific the staff have to get and it's never fun for either parties when that happens.

Anyways, everything seems fine to me so...approved 1 of 2.
First Year Beacon Student: Rackley Winchester - The Hawkeye Sniper of Team CRSA (Crystal)

Second Year Beacon Student: Jett Davenport - The Playful Shadow Knight of Team MLDC (Melodic)

Third Year Beacon Student: Suntalia Lyn Ryker - The Voice of Thunder of Team SODR (Soldier)

Fourth Year Beacon Student: Savas Carnelian - The Quiet Berserker (Teamless)

Beacon Professor: Oberon Falcov - The Man With A Plan / Team Strategy Teacher of Beacon

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Re: Lunae Terenas
« Reply #7 on: March 21, 2017, 11:18:32 AM »
Good to know, I always think mods ask for more details so that's the reason I included it. Don't suppose it's too late to change that to "assault rifle rounds" and "pistol rounds"?
Edit: Changed anyway.
« Last Edit: March 21, 2017, 11:24:37 AM by MonsterManic »
Setsuna Antiqua -First Year Beacon Leader, Team ASTC "You will always have my shield."

Tina Allan -First Year Beacon Member, Team ATLA "clickclickclickclickclick"

Tieren Augus -First Year Beacon Student "If something doesn't go down in one hit, hit it again"

Kei Tsz Fung -Fourth Year Beacon Transfer Member, Team SARK "Let me enjoy my own company, alone."

Lunae Terenas -Second Year Beacon Student "Are fireworks allowed in Beacon?"

MonsterManic

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Re: Lunae Terenas
« Reply #8 on: April 02, 2017, 08:36:08 AM »
Requires bumping.
Setsuna Antiqua -First Year Beacon Leader, Team ASTC "You will always have my shield."

Tina Allan -First Year Beacon Member, Team ATLA "clickclickclickclickclick"

Tieren Augus -First Year Beacon Student "If something doesn't go down in one hit, hit it again"

Kei Tsz Fung -Fourth Year Beacon Transfer Member, Team SARK "Let me enjoy my own company, alone."

Lunae Terenas -Second Year Beacon Student "Are fireworks allowed in Beacon?"

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Re: Lunae Terenas
« Reply #9 on: April 05, 2017, 10:07:09 AM »
So, I did the first review alone and am now going to do the second review...this time with others helping:

History:
What schooling did she go to? More specific: how did she get into Beacon? Did she go to Signal and go from that route or did she take the exam to get in? Also, you should include a little something about her first year in Beacon. It doesn't have to be a lot, but a little bit would be nice.

Weapon:
The weapon types you've listed don't exist in RWBYverse. I don't need to know it's an M4A1 assault rifle or a M203 grenade launcher. Just say it's an assault rifle with a grenade launcher attachment. That's good enough.

Those are the last couple things that were caught.
First Year Beacon Student: Rackley Winchester - The Hawkeye Sniper of Team CRSA (Crystal)

Second Year Beacon Student: Jett Davenport - The Playful Shadow Knight of Team MLDC (Melodic)

Third Year Beacon Student: Suntalia Lyn Ryker - The Voice of Thunder of Team SODR (Soldier)

Fourth Year Beacon Student: Savas Carnelian - The Quiet Berserker (Teamless)

Beacon Professor: Oberon Falcov - The Man With A Plan / Team Strategy Teacher of Beacon

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Re: Lunae Terenas
« Reply #10 on: April 05, 2017, 10:20:33 AM »
Edits made.
Setsuna Antiqua -First Year Beacon Leader, Team ASTC "You will always have my shield."

Tina Allan -First Year Beacon Member, Team ATLA "clickclickclickclickclick"

Tieren Augus -First Year Beacon Student "If something doesn't go down in one hit, hit it again"

Kei Tsz Fung -Fourth Year Beacon Transfer Member, Team SARK "Let me enjoy my own company, alone."

Lunae Terenas -Second Year Beacon Student "Are fireworks allowed in Beacon?"

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Re: Lunae Terenas
« Reply #11 on: April 05, 2017, 10:56:45 AM »
Looks good. Just remember: due to the weaponry and semblance nature of this character, if this character overly abuses any of those two things and it's brought to the mod's attentions, things will need to be changed. Okay? Okay.

Group approved (Approved by JJB, Gus, Janus, and Xarias)
First Year Beacon Student: Rackley Winchester - The Hawkeye Sniper of Team CRSA (Crystal)

Second Year Beacon Student: Jett Davenport - The Playful Shadow Knight of Team MLDC (Melodic)

Third Year Beacon Student: Suntalia Lyn Ryker - The Voice of Thunder of Team SODR (Soldier)

Fourth Year Beacon Student: Savas Carnelian - The Quiet Berserker (Teamless)

Beacon Professor: Oberon Falcov - The Man With A Plan / Team Strategy Teacher of Beacon