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Author Topic: iris Ares  (Read 131 times)

EdgeyReyes

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iris Ares
« on: March 27, 2017, 06:36:23 AM »
CHARACTER

Name: Iris Ares

Age: 21

Species and Gender: Human, Female

Symbol:


Occupation: 4th year Atlas student

Appearance: Iris is of Atlesian descent, with dark pink hair and stands at a rather passive height of 5’10, her hair is in a bob like fashion with some strands of light and dark silver. Her fierce blood red eyes and softish features give her a complexing look about her. She is missing both her arms and her right leg by the actions of her teammates and is replaced with Atlas bionic limbs, what remains of her body is defined and her posture is kept upright with the militaristic training of Atlas. She also has a small earpiece connected to her scroll to allow for communications without moving her arms.

Huntress clothing
Iris likes to dress appropriately, her main concern being the coldness of the Atlas environment outside of the kingdom’s defences. Firstly is a light blue form fitting thermal shirt she wears, orange highlights and what is the main source of her warmth, however more clothing never hurts. So with this she wears a white silk formal shirt with the top two buttons undone, having a black tie done up loosely with her symbol at the end. She wears a comfy black hooded jacket over it, orange on the inside of the hood and on the folded sleeves at the end, it is normally opened but can be closed. She wears thin black gloves despite not needing them and has a small holographic projector which tells her things like wind direction, speed and all those types of data despite not needing it for a while. She wears grey long pants with thermal runners underneath. High-traction boots to help keep her footing in the winter weather.
Spoiler: show


Alternate huntress clothing
For warmer climates, Iris wears custom clothing, using a black coat with a double collar, the sleeve going just before her elbow on her left arm and reaching a full sleeve on her right. A orange v-neck short with a purely fashion based harness thing. Also she wears a different pair of high-traction shoes with pants that make it look like a single piece.
Spoiler: show


History: Iris was born to two soldiers within the Atlas military, both human and very caring, if not doting parents. They would normally be fine but Iris was born with weak arms, something during her forming had caused the muscles and bones in her arms to be at a naturally weaker state. Needless to say they always wanted to make sure she was safe but giving her the freedom to show that they had faith in her. She was always good-mannered and positive, making sure to be at her best behaviour and get along with everyone. Naturally she looked up to her parents and even without them recommending it, she wanted to become a huntress or a soldier, something to help both humans and faunas. Equally and without bias.

So when they were home she would be taught many things: Atlas military mannerisms, how to hold and shoot a gun and wield a blade to name a few things. They also kept on reminder her about her arms and to “play to your strengths, not your weaknesses”. Advice which she took to heart.

When she reached the age to attend Atlas (junior) academy, she did. She was pretty average but, she did gain some notice for knowing Atlas regulation and being able to do them perfectly. For the most part she succeeded in theory, running A+’s all around and having below average marks for her practical for obvious reasons. Needless to say she still tried, her infectiously positive attitude could make even the sternest of teachers smile. When it came time to craft her weapon she went overboard. Drawing the plans for a massive bow and the idea for it using a specially made techy quiver to create arrows depending on the need of the situations. A for creativity, a C/C- for practicability. She ended up settling for dual forearm mounted blades which were partly mechanised so it would even out her weak arms and practicing with the bow when she could.

When she reach reached the second-half of Atlas’ academy she got placed into a team, two guys and 1 girl which evened it out. They weren’t very fond of her, they all were friends and had built a way of fighting together, she was an outcast and struggled to work as a team. She didn’t really know why they didn’t like her but, she remained positive. They Disregarded her strategies and callouts despite her repeatedly being able to predict enemy patterns and proving to be a major benefit if they would listen to her.

This continued through to her third year, being sent to an area of frozen forest near Mantle to deal with rising grimm numbers. It went well for the most part, until she was backstabbed, one of her teammates “accidentally” smashed a grimm into a large tree, this caused a large frozen branch of the tree to come and  her down. Her aura minimized the damage to both of her arms and right leg still had a bit of movement. With the area clear of grimm they openly mocked her, the leader even going as far as to even tell how they felt about her. “We always hated you, your weakness, having us to tell us what to do, how overly happy you are. You really had no idea how we wanted you gone… I can safely say that I won’t be losing any sleep over this” and the female member spat in her face. They went home to Atlas with a sob story of how they tried to save her but the grimm was just too vast and got to her before they could do anything. What made it worse was that she had saved the male teammate who mocked her right before.

She awoke several hours later, using her quiver to create an explosive arrow and pulling her right arm free to use it against the frozen branch. It worked but Iris suffered damage to arms and stacked on with the relentless Mantle weather. Iris dragged her mechanized quiver which was thankfully still attached to the harness to a small cave and ejecting the fire dust canister. She struggled, but eventually was able to maneuver it underneath her coat where she pressed it against her body, her hood up and head pressed and leaned forward to seal the warmth inside her jacket as much as possible. She didn’t want to die. She hadn’t gotten to visit the roaming deserts of Vacuo, the beautiful cultures and traditions that laid within the borders of Mistral, the diverse culture and freedom of discrimination that Vale had. She wanted to see so much, yet her fate was held together by a canister of volatile Dust that she pressed against her body. Time started to become unknown to her, she knew that she was there for a while but she didn’t know exactly how long. She fought off sleep with pure will not wanting to fall asleep and never wake again.

She tried to stay positive, she truly did, but as she had more time to think her smile started to fade. Her smile tuned to a frown, her thoughts of what she hadn’t seen turned into what she didn’t want to see, ever. Her team, her supposed allies. For the first time she had cried, all the memories of poor treatment from them hitting her like a tidal wave. Anger turned to sadness, which turned to chuckling. Her emotions ran rampant, she started to hallucinate, she would hear distorted laughter, figures made of shadows, at one point she heard the alluring voice of a woman, whispering into her ear telling her to “rest now, you’ve tried well but it is fate. Let go and accept my embrace.

It was a moment that she finally moved, she put her head up and a beautiful women appeared before her. Flowing blonde hair, a complexion that was ever-so-slightly on the pane side but still stunning. For Iris the part which allured her were the eyes, crystalline blue. Inviting robes of white and soft blues, she was on her knees, she swore she felt the heat from her hands on her cheeks. With the fire dust slowly dying out she became entranced. “Let go.”

At that point Iris had realised two things, 1, the women was her visualization of death. 2, She had lost her sanity. Right there and then she had a mental breakdown. She laughed like a maniac, she screamed with fury at her teammates, cried her heart out, she just wanted to be done with it. So many negative emotions came out at once and that told the grimm where she was. Winter grimm from all over the frozen forest and beyond started to move towards her. For her, whether she was finally given a chance or not didn’t matter.

On the ground, several Atlas special forces operators searched the area, looking for any traces that would be used for the funeral. A grim job but one that had to be done. One member in particular also had felt the extreme amount of negativity. She ditched most of her armor and left it for the ground troops to pick back up. This huntress ran through the grimm. Slaughtering them as she made her way towards the centre of the negativity. She was lucky enough to reach Iris while she was still conscious. She grabbed Iris, her quiver and bow and ran, using her semblance to keep her body temperature stable and running past the grimm. The other Special forces members got to her and slaughtered the grimm that followed closely behind, they got to one of the Atlas ships and took off. Going straight to back to Atlas academy and having medical staff take over as soon as they landed.

For 3 days Iris laid in slumber, not a movement or not a sound came from Iris. The Specialist that had brought her back had opted to stay with her, watching over her. She refused to leave the girls side, having hope that she would wake up. On the 4th she finally woke up. At the beginning she was confused, lost. The Atlas officer introduced herself as Solaris Star. Solaris explained everything that had happened and the reason why she was able to find her. With the news of her “death” being faked, many things were brought into question. News about this wasn’t kept quiet. News of this had formed on social media, Iris’ parents expressing their gratitude to Solaris as a thank you, then it just blew up online. News crew wanted to have interviews with Solaris, Iris and her family. However, neither of them accepted. Solaris respecting the privacy of the family and the family didn’t need the pity of the public. Iris was given bionic attachments to replace her crushed and dead limbs. Solaris’ sister designing the replacements personally and customizing it at Iris’ discretion. Iris underwent many tests, physical and mental to ensure that she was still herself. Aside from the obvious of her missing limbs she was mostly fine. Mental tastes revealed that she appeared healthy, but she kept to herself about her vision of death. Solaris knew better and would often meet up with her, Iris would tell Solaris and asked her to keep it a secret. Needless to say she kept her word.

But she was a changed girl, in the following weeks a court proceeding was held, the trial based on the “death” of Iris. Several hours of court and the verdict was given. Life sentences for all three of them for the attempted murder on Iris’ life. She wanted to shoot all three of them in the head for what they did to her.

For the next 3 weeks Iris spent recovering her movement. Getting use to the arms modifications beyond the movement of her hands. By her personal wish she didn’t want to be put in another team. She’d rather finish her huntress training solo then be put in another team. So that’s what happened, she got the dorm room to herself and had the beds of her teammates taken out, and using the rooms to put equipment that she would use to upgrade her weapons and maintain her limbs. She now enters her fourth year without any teammates and is fine with that. Hoping that the headmaster/Headmistress won’t attempt anything.

Personality: Iris used to be a kind-hearted individual, unfortunately, after all that has happened to her she had become very serious. Rarely laughing and hardly showing any emotion at all. Admittedly she has lost faith in allies and depends on herself. She made sure to trust no-one aside from a very select few and keep her distance. Socially and within combat. She also won’t take any bull from allies, making it very clear that she won’t help them and that if she does, she will expect a favor, her time and choosing, without hesitation.

She tends to stay quiet most of the time and tries to make herself a little known as possible. If someone tries and gets too friendly she’ll push them away. This has led to long time friendships being shattered. Especially one with a certain fox girl faunas. She wished that she would be able to look at the world as she did before, but as she is she finds that very difficult.

Aura and Semblance: Iris aura is a dark pink and is of average strength.

Mark of the Lotus - Iris’ semblance allows her to tag up to 4 targets within her line of sight with her symbol somewhere on the target's skin. As well as the very same symbol replacing her normally blood red eyes.

The semblance gives Iris a tactical advantage when activated. She is able to knows the exact distance from the symbol to her and the mark remains within view even through cover. The symbol will last 1 minute and direct eye contact without any obstacles can refresh the timer. She can put 1 symbol every 5 seconds and she needs 20 seconds to replace the symbol that reached its time limit. The mark is visible to everyone but also she retains the ability to see it no matter what, even with objects and walls alike in the way. After the time is up, the symbol will disappear.

Combat Behavior: Iris fights like an archer, using her bow, Starfall and her quiver, Re-entry to bring enemies down from a distance with the power of the bow. Now it doesn’t mean she is helpless at close combat, she learnt to rely on herself when she crafted her forearm blades and her experience at Atlas. With the addition of her robotic arms and leg she got rid of her forearm blades and replaced it with a real blade.

The power of the bow is tremendous so she will shoot through hard materials to hit her target in combination with her semblance. Re-Entry's ability to create many forms of arrows has helped her greatly and allows a range of versatility in ranged combat. She is a very cautious and analytical fighter, making sure to know what is around her and how to get out if the situation goes bad.

Besides the weakness against proper guns she also has to think about her arrows. Against speed users she needs to also add the enemy's speed and will have to make sure the arrow and the enemy will make contact. With tough enemy’s she will also think about her dust usage. Being overly careful about which arrows she will make use of.

WEAPON

Name: Starfall

Primary Form: A very large mechanized recurve bow. Done in black with orange highlights and a titanium wire to support her new strength and a circular disc to keep the arrow in place and extends a little onto the string to allow for curvig of her arrows. It has a magnetic handle to grip onto with her bionic arms and features a center stabilizer. Firing a short arrow will reel in the wire to increase the power as she pulls it back. Long arrows will do the same as well as use kinetic power in the arms of the bow, when released it allows it to go the extra distances and brings to light the more destructive features. The bow is capable of long range shots and also capable of performing many different actions; bunker busting to artillery or long range support. All thanks to combination of Starfall and Re-Entry

Spoiler: show


Storage Form: By detaching the handle the bow straightens up, the stabilizer folds against the bow and the lower arm folds against the upper arm. Looking somewhat like a regular blade. She places it against the left magnetic holster on her harness near the shoulder blade.

History: Starfall was one of her original weapon designs, while it wasn’t very practical it held a special place in her heart. After her abandonment in the frozen forest, and the loss of her arms; she was given replacement arms. Amping the strength of the bow to the limits to ensure she wouldn’t have to rely on anyone else ever again.

Name: Re-entry

Primary Form: Starfall’s sister, the quiver is very large and is secured by the other side of the harness. Alternately she can place it on her the right side of her hip, using the support of her mechanical leg to keep herself stabilized. Inside Re-Entry carries enough equipment for over 100 long range arrows or 200 short ranged arrows.

Re-Entry creates the arrows in steps. First it will attach the “feathers” onto the arrow, attaching it to the shaft on an arrow and either attaching another shaft for long range or will fill the arrow head with Dust in its volatile state and partially filling up the shaft of the arrow. (The shredders scene from Battleship movie kind of deal)

Secondary Form: By using the detached handle from Starfally, Iris can place the handle at the top of Re-Entry and using the device in her right arm, can allow her to use a katana blade of charged fire dust and handle.

Dust Functions: The quiver is her only source of arrows. Making sure to cram as much into it as possible. Ammo is as labeled.
- dust tips (30 per type) 150 tips
  - fire - Can create a small explosion and light anything on fire on contact.
  - lightning - Releases an electrical burst in a limited area.
  - ice - Can cause a localized area to be frozen solid.
  - kinetic - Pushing back the enemies from the center of the arrow.
  - earth - Forms a large piece of earth.
- Combination dust tips (long range only)
 - Fire (2)+ Kinetic (2)- Creates a large explosion upon impact, perfect for killing tough grimm or lots of medium sized grimm
- Fire (1) + Ice (1) - Forms a large area of mist upon impact. Perfect for utilizing her semblance in fights.
- Fire (2) + Kinetic (2) + Earth (3) - When impact is made it forms a large boulder around the arrow. then the fire and kinetic dust activate releasing large and small shards of earth everywhere.

- broadheads 80 - Designed to inflict raw damage upon flesh and bone
- Piercing 50 - Designed to go through multiple targets
- Sonic 25 - Releases a high pitched screech over a large area to give enemies vertigo

She can create the arrows from a device in her right arm to tell the quiver which type of arrow she needs. The difference between the long and short range arrows is the fact that double the amount of supplies that each arrow needs.

History: The sister piece to go Starfall. Made at the same time and has served her faithfully during her time learning to be a huntress.

Name: Bionic limbs

Arms: Sleek silver arms and leg with a base off of the human shape, inside the right arm bears a device to transmit signals to her quiver to tell what arrows to form. A small grove with two rotators which keep the wire straight and a scroll on the underside of her left forearm and controlled through her arm so she never needs to touch it to use it. Also a dust powered engine in each shoulder to power the arms and triggerable magnets in her hands to grip the handle properly or grip metal objects.

Legs: The same sleek silver design, she can use the power of her robotic leg to jump to very high places and land from high places with ease and kick really hard.

Dust functions: Electric dust gives power to her arms and legs to utilize the full strength of the limbs. Without them she loses a bit of power but it isn’t a whole lot at loss. She can punch really hard. Like punch a large ursa off its feet and quite a distance in the air.

History: Installed on her after her abandonment and rescue from the frozen forest near Mantle. Designed to her particular style of fighting so she can fight solo or with a team.
« Last Edit: April 02, 2017, 09:30:55 PM by EdgeyReyes »
Spoiler: Atlas • show


Solaris Star - Atlesian Special Forces

Aegis Guard - First Year Atlas Student

Iris Ares - Fourth Year Atlas Student


Spoiler: Vale • show

Akeldama Blood-Heart - First Year Beacon Student

Linh Li "Mythos Laurenstine - Second year Beacon Student


jjb2158

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Re: iris Ares
« Reply #1 on: March 31, 2017, 06:37:29 PM »
So, quite a few things stuck out:

History:
How was she able to get out from being crushed under a tree and then into a cave with only one functional limb? I get that this is RWBY, but even this is pushing it a bit too far.

Semblance:
1. Is there a cool down between each use? If there is, can you please indicate that? It doesn't need to be a number.
2. How is the mark placed on something/someone? Is it by her touching them or by line of sight?
3.
Quote
When a target is marked a few things appear, there is of course the indication that she is using her semblance, but onto what it actually does.
This can use some rewording. What do you mean by "a few things appear" and "indication that she is using her semblance"?

Combat Behavior:
1.
Quote
She can be out sniped by targets with sniper rifles but she can shoot at an arc or manipulate the trajectory by curling the string
This sentence is pretty confusing. Particularly the whole thing about how she can curl the string or manipulate the trajectory. Are you saying that if she does this then she can compete against a sniper? If that's the case, then I find that EXTREMELY hard to believe. The effective range of a bow is, at max, 100 yards. A sniper rifle has an effective range of up to 1,000 yards. With all that said, can you explain what you mean with this sentence? the curling the strings portion is confusing for all of us so, either remove it or reword it.
2. I don't really see any weaknesses for her (not counting the sniper one). Even if she's a fourth year student, everyone has at least 1 - 2 weaknesses.

Weapon:
So, here we get into the realm of high-tech weapons and where it's based on a trust level. That all said, I've discussed it over with the other staff and I'm going to allow you to keep your high-tech gear (your welcome). BUT!!!! If any of the staff hear about this being abused or too OP, then I will revoke my approval and will ban this weapon. Okay? Okay.

That said, a few things here:
1.
Quote
The bow is capable of long range shots and also capable of performing many different actions; bunker busting to artillery or long range support
I get that you're trying to create an EXTREMELY powerful bow, but this is taking things just a bit too far. I'm somewhat lenient to allow the long range support, but to say that it can take down a bunker or shoot like an artillery is too much. You can have powerful shots, but not that powerful.
2. How exactly does the quiver create the arrows? Is it like a 3D printer? Please explain that a bit more.
3. In regards to the gravity dust: I'm alright with this dust type, but will need to make two things very clear about it: first, if she's using the gravity dust to curve her arrows, then know that the curving of it will cause the arrows to lose the amount of force it would normally have (not going into detail why). Second, the gravity well is allowed so long as it's not powerful enough to suck someone,something into it and keep them in it. That is too OP and will not be allowed.
4.
Quote
Lightning (3) + Gravity (2) - Creation of a large gravity well with a ball of electricity at its core. Will continuously shock and damage anything within the gravity well for its duration. (14 seconds)
This is just too OP, both with the power and duration. Either lower the damage or drastically cut down the duration.
5.
Quote
Electric dust gives power to her arms to utilize the full draw strength of her bow. Without them she can reach 7/10 of the full power. She can punch with around 250kg of force
Please remove the numbers. They just make things more confusing and harder to know exactly what that means. Easier if you just say "She can punch really hard" or something along the lines of that.

That should cover it all. As always, feel free to PM me if you have any questions/concerns. You know I'm always happy to help clarify things.
First Year Beacon Student: Rackley Winchester - The Hawkeye Sniper of Team CRSA (Crystal)

Second Year Beacon Student: Jett Davenport - The Playful Shadow Knight of Team MLDC (Melodic)

Third Year Beacon Student: Suntalia Lyn Ryker - The Voice of Thunder of Team SODR (Soldier)

Fourth Year Beacon Student: Savas Carnelian - The Quiet Berserker (Teamless)

Beacon Professor: Oberon Falcov - The Man With A Plan / Team Strategy Teacher of Beacon

EdgeyReyes

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Re: iris Ares
« Reply #2 on: April 02, 2017, 06:18:34 AM »
So I changed the small part of the history to make more sense. Not sure if it works for you but it sounded alright in my head.

Clarified semblance (hopefully) and added time between initial tags and reapplying tags

Added combat weaknesses. (I'll add more when I think of them (might take a while))

Will keep a reminder about the bows potential and limits so i don't abuse it. (If I do do it please send me a message. I'll fix it up to fit better) Also added in that to do the artillery like stuff she needs to amp up the dust. I'm going off the really solid evidence of purified dust in volume 1 episode 2 where it shows a very minimal amount being used and still manages to cause quite an explosion. (Also they said it left a crater but I think the animators were rushed for time which is why they didn't do it)

Also edited the gravity well and gave more of detail on it to hopefully paint a clearer picture of the strength of the grav-field

Lastly I clarified how the arrows are formed.

Misc: Added a second outfit, an earpiece and a bit more description onto the bionics that fits her archer style better.
Spoiler: Atlas • show


Solaris Star - Atlesian Special Forces

Aegis Guard - First Year Atlas Student

Iris Ares - Fourth Year Atlas Student


Spoiler: Vale • show

Akeldama Blood-Heart - First Year Beacon Student

Linh Li "Mythos Laurenstine - Second year Beacon Student


jjb2158

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Re: iris Ares
« Reply #3 on: April 02, 2017, 09:49:50 PM »
Alright, after working this extensively with you and have a couple other mods help with reviewing, everything looks good now.

Group Approved (Kaliot, FunkyMonkey, Aegis, Janus, and JJB) and moved.
« Last Edit: April 02, 2017, 10:09:40 PM by jjb2158 »
First Year Beacon Student: Rackley Winchester - The Hawkeye Sniper of Team CRSA (Crystal)

Second Year Beacon Student: Jett Davenport - The Playful Shadow Knight of Team MLDC (Melodic)

Third Year Beacon Student: Suntalia Lyn Ryker - The Voice of Thunder of Team SODR (Soldier)

Fourth Year Beacon Student: Savas Carnelian - The Quiet Berserker (Teamless)

Beacon Professor: Oberon Falcov - The Man With A Plan / Team Strategy Teacher of Beacon