Author Topic: Helena Chlophyll (shipped out)  (Read 12533 times)

nathan67003

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Helena Chlophyll (shipped out)
« on: September 12, 2016, 10:34:49 AM »
CHARACTER

Name: Helena Chlophyll

Age: 17, born 21st of Amare 63 AC

Species and Gender: Female human

Symbol: A bright, shining Sun the same colour as her Aura.

Occupation: Beacon Academy student, first year

Appearance: At 1.75 metres/5'9" and 63 kilograms/140 lbs, Helena has defined muscles. Her shoulders are slightly wider than average and her chest, while nothing to write home about, isn't too shabby either at a C cup. Her features tend to be on the soft side. She has a warm, smooth voice that could easily lull you to sleep. Her most defined muscles are her shoulder and upper back ones, mostly due to using Artemis. She has fair skin and straight, light blond hair that goes down to her shoulderbones as well as very pale blue-grey eyes. She is right-handed.

Helena's 'casual' attire consists of a black, fitted dress shirt with slightly golden buttons paired with a navy, tea-length circle skirt and golden heels. When the weather is too frigid or rainy, she'll also wear a burgundy princess coat with white buttons and a hidden hood. She wears her school uniform as prim and proper as possible. Her formal attire consists of a white, knee-length dress and white heels. The skirt is made of a twenty or so thin, light swaths of textile, seemingly sown onto a common base. The skirt also has a slight colour gradient: it starts white at the top and becomes a very pale lilac at the bottom. Her pajama consists of a maroon-coloured silk nightgown. She can sometimes be seen with a small, brown leather sash slung around herself, which is where she likes to keep her pet garden snake when on the move in a safe environment.

History: Helena was born in Vale to two equally Vallite parents. She grew up in one of the poorer parts of the city. But even then, her parents were something special: they helped out everyone they could with all the time they could spare, even if they worked most of the day to make ends meet. They tried to communicate this love of people to their daughter, and boy did they ever succeed. Even at the ripe age of 4, Helena would go to others and speak to them in a friendly manners, even those that could be regarded as bullies - which rarely remained that way. If she saw another child - or even adult - cry, she was pretty much guaranteed to be found hugging them within 10 seconds, asking what's wrong and doing her best to help. She got it bad, sometimes, when someone went aggressive, but even then, she refused to stop helping.

When she was 8, however, something changed - drastically. As improbable as it may seem, her parents won the lotto. Thankfully for pretty much everyone involved, it didn't change them or go to their heads: they dressed a bit fancier, but still very simply and, above all, kept on helping others, spending even more time on that as they had stopped working. Now, they distributed food and clothing to the homeless, provided shelters, helped families in need, arranged for doctors to consult those who couldn't afford it. When she wasn't at school, they brought their child along, watching her bloom into a ball of sunshine with seemingly infinite stocks of love for all.

When she was 11, Helena was seriously wondering what she would do later in life. Would she be a doctor? A humanitarian worker? A police officer? There were so many options that were good ways of helping people! After giving it a lot of thought and asking her parents, their friends and her own friends for advice, she settled on becoming a Huntress. Not everything about the job was chasing monsters, but also helping those who were too far away from the main settlements for the usual help to be of any use. When the time came, she therefore enrolled in Signal.

Mere days after arriving at Signal, during the first live exercise she took part in, one of her fellow students injured themselves rather severely, blood escaping the wound at a dangerous rate. Doing, as usual, all she could to help, Helena ran to the boy and pressed both hands on the gash, wishing for the bleeding to stop. Which it did. About thirty seconds later, when the nurses arrived on the scene and asked that she remove her hands so that they could evaluate the damage, the bleeding had completely stopped. Helena had just used her semblance for the first time. Realizing this, she began to consume as much information as possible about biology and anatomy, which eventually gave her her idea for her short-range weapons. Therefore, most of her time at Signal was spent on perfecting her weapons, using her semblance by swinging by the hospital every day and by helping the vegetables of the community garden grow ever so slightly faster. She got into Beacon with average scores all over the board, ecstatic at the idea of being one step closer to becoming a healer Huntress.

Personality: Helena is just about as bright as the Sun can be, bordering on the excessive. Relentlessly joyful and happy, she refuses to see people as only evil, claiming that there is no such thing as pure evil: there's always a reason behind it, one that she seldom understands. As such, even though the White Fang's recent activities are... of a rather questionable nature, she is entirely convinced that they believe they are doing this for the greater good. Her willingness to help with almost anything anyone can ask, as well as try to help those who seem to need it, can lend her to be marginally - okay, not so marginally - naive and prone to fall into traps. She usually prefers to hang around outside, amidst large amounts of greenery which may or may not have been grown via her semblance, either just enjoying the sights or reading a book under the shadow of a tree, and is quite happy if anyone decides to join her.

Aura and Semblance: Helena's Aura is a bright, warm solar yellow (#FFFFE5).

Her semblance is, in one word, Life. It allows her to use her Aura to do a few things.
1) Heal animals and people. Healing done with her semblance will leave no scar tissue behind. She is only capable of healing relatively recent injuries and, to a much lesser extent, sickness. The amount of Aura needed depends on the size, nature and complexity of the injury. For sickness, it basically gives the immune system a boost.
2) Grow plants. Plants grown this way will not sprout new flowers, or have their flowers bloom, because of the artificial growth, although it will happen normally afterwards. As a general rule of thumb (with trees, for example), 1% = 1 month growth equivalent, although smaller plants like moss grow more easily.

Combat Behavior: Helena considers herself as more of a support than anything else, usually preferring to stand far behind her allies and snipe with Artemis. However, should the terrain or situation prove to be unsuitable to such an arrangement, she will dual wield her knives and rapidly flit about her foes, stabbing and slicing with strangely graceful, rapid and fluid movements, but is still far from impressive and struggles to inflict damage, being somewhat unused to close quarters. She only uses the toxins out of necessity, usually to stop someone from being seriously injured, and only on people, as Grimm metabolism is too unknown to waste stuff on.

WEAPONS

Name: Artemis

Primary Form: Artemis takes the form of a large, reflex flatbow and its 24 (25 if you count the special one) accompanying arrows, along with a quiver. A large strip of light, silvery, unpolished metal with green reflections spans its entire length and thickness and the rest of the flatbow itself is completed by carbon fibre. The draw string is a thick nanotube wire, also awash with green reflections. The entire thing was treated to be fireproof since, y'know, carbon burns. The green reflections are side effects of the Kinetic Dust infused within the pieces. The arrows - most of them - have a shaft made of carbon nanotube reinforced polymer, black polymer fletching and have tungsten carbide heads which are the nightmarish child of bodkin points and broadheads. The broadhead part is situated just below the bodkin point, within the shaft, and deploys on impact - optimally, after it penetrates the target. The arrows are also treated to be fire resistant. A single arrow, held onto the quiver to be separated from the others, only has a bodkin point, but this one point is made of hyperdiamond. The bow is capable of shooting its ammo at just over 200 m/s when fully drawn.

Dust Functions: Small Dust containers can be clamped onto the shaft, right after the bodkin point. These containers are stored in pockets on the quiver. Helena likes to have two of each on hand at all times. The effects have a 2 metre radius unless specified otherwise.
- Fire: Creates an explosion.
- Ice: Freezes stuff or creates ice around stuff.
- Lightning: Zaps things.
- Kinetic: Drives the arrow forward with immense force.

History: Helena had Artemis custom-made for her while she was at Signal by a company called Prometheus Labs. She named it Artemis because of, well, Artemis.

Name: Seikatsu & Shi

Primary Form: Seikatsu and Shi are two daggers/knives which are only special in their looks. Seikatsu is of a vivid green with yellow reflections, while Shi is black with red reflections. What is strange, however, is their sheaths, which seem far more bulky than necessary as well as having the same colour schemes as their respective knives. Seikatsu's is attached on the right side of her belt while Shi's is symmetrically placed.

The goddamn colours, man: ShowHide
Seikatsu colours: #14A900 & #D9DC00
Shi: Black is black, red is #C20000


DustSecondary Functions: The sheaths are actually machines whose purpose - apart from being sheaths - is to store, as well as apply to or remove from the daggers/knives, toxins. These toxins are extremely potent: a few micrograms in the bloodstream is all that's needed. Applying the toxin takes three seconds, while removing it takes an entire minute. There are also metallic antidote phials stored within each sheath: 12 for Seikatsu, 3 for Shi.
Seikatsu: A paralysing agent. Effects start after about 1 second and spread from the insertion point, increasing until reaching a plateau at 10 seconds with total, non-lethal paralysis. The plateau lasts for an hour, after which the effects steadily decline until they completely disappear 20 minutes later.
Shi: A lethal toxin that blocks oxygen processing within mitochondria. Effects start immediatly and death usually occurs in about 10 seconds. This can still be reversed for approximately 4 minutes by injecting the antidote directly into the heart.

As the only reference I currently have is Gus' Malina, I don't know how to put the toxins in the profile other than that.

History: Helena made these weapons herself while attending Signal as a close-range solution. She still wanted to make them more than normal weapons, though, so she came up with the design. Although the daggers/knives themselves only took several weeks and the sheaths, a few months, it took her entire time at Signal to get the artificial toxins and antidotes right. She named them after the toxins' respective natures: life and death.
« Last Edit: November 07, 2016, 05:59:45 AM by nathan67003 »
Characters: ShowHide
Nathan Eau, De Facto Jetpack Guy and Leader of Team INKK
Camelia Sol, Miss Magnetic Personality and Leader of Team CAST
Anna Fall, Insightful Visionary of Team ASTC
Brock Greenwood, Human Titan of Team DGTL
Helena Chlophyll, Ray of Sunshine of Team CHES
Scarlett/Corinth,Korynn,etc. Briggart/Topaz (In the works)
Max (mp)
Chloe (mp)
Maena Nadir, Coherent Beam of Team SSMR
Europa/Encela(dus)/Io/Callisto/Calypso (In the works)
Hannah Glass
Mark Cassini
Carlson Ferram
"Some goddamn bullshit, Invictus Omega"
"The Ferryman"
"GREEEEEEEN"
"I swear it's not my fault"
"HOT HOT HOT"
"s m o l"
"Alastair Reynolds"
"Living Weapon"
"Glm"
"Librarian"
"Vibin'"
Cole McWrath
AAAA (a.k.a. AMAA)
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nathan67003

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Re: Helena Chlophyll
« Reply #1 on: September 21, 2016, 07:26:31 PM »
I should really stop procrastinating on this poor thing.
Characters: ShowHide
Nathan Eau, De Facto Jetpack Guy and Leader of Team INKK
Camelia Sol, Miss Magnetic Personality and Leader of Team CAST
Anna Fall, Insightful Visionary of Team ASTC
Brock Greenwood, Human Titan of Team DGTL
Helena Chlophyll, Ray of Sunshine of Team CHES
Scarlett/Corinth,Korynn,etc. Briggart/Topaz (In the works)
Max (mp)
Chloe (mp)
Maena Nadir, Coherent Beam of Team SSMR
Europa/Encela(dus)/Io/Callisto/Calypso (In the works)
Hannah Glass
Mark Cassini
Carlson Ferram
"Some goddamn bullshit, Invictus Omega"
"The Ferryman"
"GREEEEEEEN"
"I swear it's not my fault"
"HOT HOT HOT"
"s m o l"
"Alastair Reynolds"
"Living Weapon"
"Glm"
"Librarian"
"Vibin'"
Cole McWrath
AAAA (a.k.a. AMAA)
AMCAA

The Mythic Scribe

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Re: Helena Chlophyll
« Reply #2 on: September 22, 2016, 06:50:36 AM »
Natendo, I've been procrastinating on Cerise a lot longer than you've been procrastinating on Helena.
Mauve Roux(1st year leader of team ROSE):“Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be obtained only by someone who is detached.”  -Simone Weil

Bianca Li(1st year member of team CBLT):"When you're the victim of the behavior, it's black and white; when you're the perpetrator, there are a million shades of gray." -Laura Schlessinger

Primrose Aster(1st year member of team BTRA):“To weep is to make less the depth of grief.”  -William Shakespeare

Cerise Carnelian(1st year member of team VCVS):"Be as you wish to seem." -Socrates

Lien Li(2nd year member of team MLDC): "To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders." -Lao Tzu

Aurora Hesperid(1st year leader of team ATLA)

nathan67003

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Re: Helena Chlophyll
« Reply #3 on: September 22, 2016, 07:00:01 AM »
Alright, fair point.

I should still stop, though.
Characters: ShowHide
Nathan Eau, De Facto Jetpack Guy and Leader of Team INKK
Camelia Sol, Miss Magnetic Personality and Leader of Team CAST
Anna Fall, Insightful Visionary of Team ASTC
Brock Greenwood, Human Titan of Team DGTL
Helena Chlophyll, Ray of Sunshine of Team CHES
Scarlett/Corinth,Korynn,etc. Briggart/Topaz (In the works)
Max (mp)
Chloe (mp)
Maena Nadir, Coherent Beam of Team SSMR
Europa/Encela(dus)/Io/Callisto/Calypso (In the works)
Hannah Glass
Mark Cassini
Carlson Ferram
"Some goddamn bullshit, Invictus Omega"
"The Ferryman"
"GREEEEEEEN"
"I swear it's not my fault"
"HOT HOT HOT"
"s m o l"
"Alastair Reynolds"
"Living Weapon"
"Glm"
"Librarian"
"Vibin'"
Cole McWrath
AAAA (a.k.a. AMAA)
AMCAA

Flooberoid

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Re: Helena Chlophyll
« Reply #4 on: September 24, 2016, 07:52:48 PM »
Ah, bollocks to it. Who needs a history and a personality, really?
1st Year Beacon Students: ShowHide
Hagane Inaba- Can melt steel beams. Leader of team HTDG
Mint Fresch- A chipper gale.
Persimmon Burhan- A douche.
Carnation Prescott- Get it, CAREa? Sorry.
Lissa Lime- Beacon's spinning top
Jacob Stillwater- Nailed it


Literally everyone else: ShowHide
Patchouli Breschi- First year at Shade. Don't let her penetrate you.
Diamante Solar- Third Year at Beacon. Feel the Light of the Holy Noodle!
Dannum Sohrab- Professor of practical combat skills at Shade. Or at least that's his excuse to blow things up.
Crystal Evermore- Aura professor at Beacon Academy.


Now introducing my AMCA, complete with apathy!

nathan67003

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Re: Helena Chlophyll
« Reply #5 on: September 24, 2016, 08:20:12 PM »
Lel. I find writing histories to be the most tedious part, and I'm still not done with her appearance.
Characters: ShowHide
Nathan Eau, De Facto Jetpack Guy and Leader of Team INKK
Camelia Sol, Miss Magnetic Personality and Leader of Team CAST
Anna Fall, Insightful Visionary of Team ASTC
Brock Greenwood, Human Titan of Team DGTL
Helena Chlophyll, Ray of Sunshine of Team CHES
Scarlett/Corinth,Korynn,etc. Briggart/Topaz (In the works)
Max (mp)
Chloe (mp)
Maena Nadir, Coherent Beam of Team SSMR
Europa/Encela(dus)/Io/Callisto/Calypso (In the works)
Hannah Glass
Mark Cassini
Carlson Ferram
"Some goddamn bullshit, Invictus Omega"
"The Ferryman"
"GREEEEEEEN"
"I swear it's not my fault"
"HOT HOT HOT"
"s m o l"
"Alastair Reynolds"
"Living Weapon"
"Glm"
"Librarian"
"Vibin'"
Cole McWrath
AAAA (a.k.a. AMAA)
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nathan67003

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Re: Helena Chlophyll
« Reply #6 on: September 25, 2016, 11:41:57 AM »
There. Think I'm done with appearance.
Characters: ShowHide
Nathan Eau, De Facto Jetpack Guy and Leader of Team INKK
Camelia Sol, Miss Magnetic Personality and Leader of Team CAST
Anna Fall, Insightful Visionary of Team ASTC
Brock Greenwood, Human Titan of Team DGTL
Helena Chlophyll, Ray of Sunshine of Team CHES
Scarlett/Corinth,Korynn,etc. Briggart/Topaz (In the works)
Max (mp)
Chloe (mp)
Maena Nadir, Coherent Beam of Team SSMR
Europa/Encela(dus)/Io/Callisto/Calypso (In the works)
Hannah Glass
Mark Cassini
Carlson Ferram
"Some goddamn bullshit, Invictus Omega"
"The Ferryman"
"GREEEEEEEN"
"I swear it's not my fault"
"HOT HOT HOT"
"s m o l"
"Alastair Reynolds"
"Living Weapon"
"Glm"
"Librarian"
"Vibin'"
Cole McWrath
AAAA (a.k.a. AMAA)
AMCAA

nathan67003

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Re: Helena Chlophyll
« Reply #7 on: October 04, 2016, 08:19:54 PM »
I'd just like to know: Am I allowed to finish writing her up?

She still wouldn't appear anywhere in the RP once done because she wasn't already approved.
Characters: ShowHide
Nathan Eau, De Facto Jetpack Guy and Leader of Team INKK
Camelia Sol, Miss Magnetic Personality and Leader of Team CAST
Anna Fall, Insightful Visionary of Team ASTC
Brock Greenwood, Human Titan of Team DGTL
Helena Chlophyll, Ray of Sunshine of Team CHES
Scarlett/Corinth,Korynn,etc. Briggart/Topaz (In the works)
Max (mp)
Chloe (mp)
Maena Nadir, Coherent Beam of Team SSMR
Europa/Encela(dus)/Io/Callisto/Calypso (In the works)
Hannah Glass
Mark Cassini
Carlson Ferram
"Some goddamn bullshit, Invictus Omega"
"The Ferryman"
"GREEEEEEEN"
"I swear it's not my fault"
"HOT HOT HOT"
"s m o l"
"Alastair Reynolds"
"Living Weapon"
"Glm"
"Librarian"
"Vibin'"
Cole McWrath
AAAA (a.k.a. AMAA)
AMCAA

Dr. Gustave

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Re: Helena Chlophyll
« Reply #8 on: October 04, 2016, 08:50:00 PM »
Oh, this was WiP...

I'll move this back.
Atlas: ShowHide
Mercenary: Kol Augur ~ The Judicator of Atlas
Speaking: #5C5054 Thinking: #EAC117

Mistral: ShowHide
Huntress-in-Training: Aca Roth ~ Member of Team RWND
Speaking: #E05260 Thinking: #EA857F
Huntress-in-Training: Brook Pallas ~ Member of Team CNBR
Speaking: #4863A0 Thinking: #98AFC7
Council Member: Phaedo Katsaros ~ Figurehead for Faunus/Human relations
Speaking: #667C26 Thinking: #B6CC76

Vacuo: ShowHide
40th Vytal Tournament Champion: Zabar Aga ~ Member of Team DAWN
Speaking: #CD7F32 Thinking: #EE9A4D

Vale: ShowHide
Huntress: Malina Nahualli-Roth ~ Leader of Team MCCA
Speaking: #993A64 Thinking: #8B0C44
Beacon Professor: Titania Printemps ~ Assistant Headmistress of Beacon Academy
Speaking: #4AA02C Thinking: #E55B3C
Drop-out: Durian Ghede ~ Former leader of team DFDL
Speaking: #E1BD27 Thinking: #AF8B00

nathan67003

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Re: Helena Chlophyll
« Reply #9 on: October 05, 2016, 05:49:01 AM »
Thank you! :3
Characters: ShowHide
Nathan Eau, De Facto Jetpack Guy and Leader of Team INKK
Camelia Sol, Miss Magnetic Personality and Leader of Team CAST
Anna Fall, Insightful Visionary of Team ASTC
Brock Greenwood, Human Titan of Team DGTL
Helena Chlophyll, Ray of Sunshine of Team CHES
Scarlett/Corinth,Korynn,etc. Briggart/Topaz (In the works)
Max (mp)
Chloe (mp)
Maena Nadir, Coherent Beam of Team SSMR
Europa/Encela(dus)/Io/Callisto/Calypso (In the works)
Hannah Glass
Mark Cassini
Carlson Ferram
"Some goddamn bullshit, Invictus Omega"
"The Ferryman"
"GREEEEEEEN"
"I swear it's not my fault"
"HOT HOT HOT"
"s m o l"
"Alastair Reynolds"
"Living Weapon"
"Glm"
"Librarian"
"Vibin'"
Cole McWrath
AAAA (a.k.a. AMAA)
AMCAA

nathan67003

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Re: Helena Chlophyll
« Reply #10 on: October 06, 2016, 08:11:17 PM »
Finished the History section.

She should now be ready for export as soon as I'm done rectifying my previous mistakes. In the meantime, I would really like to have reviews of her, so feel free to make one.
Characters: ShowHide
Nathan Eau, De Facto Jetpack Guy and Leader of Team INKK
Camelia Sol, Miss Magnetic Personality and Leader of Team CAST
Anna Fall, Insightful Visionary of Team ASTC
Brock Greenwood, Human Titan of Team DGTL
Helena Chlophyll, Ray of Sunshine of Team CHES
Scarlett/Corinth,Korynn,etc. Briggart/Topaz (In the works)
Max (mp)
Chloe (mp)
Maena Nadir, Coherent Beam of Team SSMR
Europa/Encela(dus)/Io/Callisto/Calypso (In the works)
Hannah Glass
Mark Cassini
Carlson Ferram
"Some goddamn bullshit, Invictus Omega"
"The Ferryman"
"GREEEEEEEN"
"I swear it's not my fault"
"HOT HOT HOT"
"s m o l"
"Alastair Reynolds"
"Living Weapon"
"Glm"
"Librarian"
"Vibin'"
Cole McWrath
AAAA (a.k.a. AMAA)
AMCAA

Flooberoid

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Re: Helena Chlophyll (peer review-ready)
« Reply #11 on: October 06, 2016, 09:09:33 PM »
I didn't read your history because... I don't really feel like reading histories at the moment. Combat parameters seem groovy to me. You should probably remove the hex codes in the weapon section; hex for aura color is fine, from what I've seen.
1st Year Beacon Students: ShowHide
Hagane Inaba- Can melt steel beams. Leader of team HTDG
Mint Fresch- A chipper gale.
Persimmon Burhan- A douche.
Carnation Prescott- Get it, CAREa? Sorry.
Lissa Lime- Beacon's spinning top
Jacob Stillwater- Nailed it


Literally everyone else: ShowHide
Patchouli Breschi- First year at Shade. Don't let her penetrate you.
Diamante Solar- Third Year at Beacon. Feel the Light of the Holy Noodle!
Dannum Sohrab- Professor of practical combat skills at Shade. Or at least that's his excuse to blow things up.
Crystal Evermore- Aura professor at Beacon Academy.


Now introducing my AMCA, complete with apathy!

Asterisk

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Re: Helena Chlophyll (peer review-ready)
« Reply #12 on: October 06, 2016, 09:18:16 PM »
If she saw another child - or even adult - cry, she was pretty much guaranteed to be found hugging them within 10 seconds, as king what's wrong and doing her best to help.

Mere days after arriving at Signal, during the first live exercise she took part in, one of her fellow students injured themselves rather severely, blood escaping the wound at a dangerous rate. Doing, as usual, all she could to help, Helena ran to the boy and pressed both hands on the gash, wishing for the bleeding to stop. Which it did. About thirty seconds later, when the nurses arrived on the scene and asked that she remove her hands so that they could evaluate the damage, the bleeding had completely stopped. Helena had just used her semblance for the first time.

What happened to the boy's aura, and why would they let him participate in a live exercise without it? Say his aura went out, then the instructors should have intervened.

Since she'd been practicing archery since a young age, however, they would probably end up being secondary.

Redundant sentence.

Her semblance is, in one word, Life. It allows her to use her Aura to do a few things.
2) Grow plants. Plants grown this way will not sprout new flowers, or have their flowers bloom, because of the artificial growth, although it will happen normally afterwards. As a general rule of thumb (with trees, for example), 1% = 1 year growth equivalent, although smaller plants like moss grow more easily.

We don't want her growing hundred year old trees multiple times a day. I'd recommend 1% = 1 month growth equivalent, or perhaps even 1% = 1 week.

I don't really see any weaknesses that are outright mentioned in the Combat Behavior. Please do.

Artemis takes the form of a large, reflex flatbow and its 24 (25 if you count the special one) accompanying arrows, along with a quiver.

This sentence reads weirdly to my Japanese eyes. Maybe change 'its' to 'has'?

A single arrow, held onto the quiver to be separated from the others, only has a bodkin point, but this one point is made of hyperdiamond.

Sorry, might just be me but I don't really get the point of it being made of hyperdiamond


Helena had Artemis custom-made for her while she was at Signal by a company called Prometheus Labs.

Cool.

Shi: A lethal toxin that blocks oxygen processing within mitochondria. Effects start immediatly and death usually occurs in about 10 seconds. This can still be reversed for approximately 4 minutes by injecting the antidote directly into the heart.

THE TOXINS ARE INEFFECTIVE IF SOMEONE'S AURA IS UP.

Why does Ms. Sunny Personality need to carry around deadly toxins? Especially if they only work when a person's aura is down?
« Last Edit: October 06, 2016, 09:20:31 PM by Asterisk »

nathan67003

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Re: Helena Chlophyll (peer review-ready)
« Reply #13 on: October 07, 2016, 07:13:30 AM »
Floob: Moved to goddamn spoiler.

Asterisk: Corrected.

Most kids don't have a very large Aura pool at the start of combat school - or so I assumed. Or there was an accident, or something.

Sentence removed.

Nerfed that part.

Explicited that she's not good in close quarters - even though it already said she struggles to inflict damage, I added she's unused to it.

The arrows of the bow. I believe it's proper use. I struggled to understand the use of 'its' for years as well, so I'm certainly not holding it against you :P

Hyperdiamond is the hardest substance known to man, making it perfect for piercing thick and dense armour - like a Goliath's, for instance.

Lel.

Only ONE of them is deadly, and it's because she likes the balance it brings. Life is, after all, intricately intertwined with death. Added that they only work once the Aura is down because I realized how ridiculously OP that would've been. If you think of a better way to implement it, please let me know, 'cause it was basically an afterthought.

Also, thanks for that detailed review! :D
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Re: Helena Chlophyll (peer review-ready)
« Reply #14 on: October 07, 2016, 09:41:29 AM »
I think the part in parentheses just breaks it up when you look at it. It's a fine sentence, just separated in a weird spot is all. Or maybe it's just that some/most/idk people don't consider the arrows to be part of the weapon.

That's a princess coat by the way.
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