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Author Topic: Sheer Gold  (Read 158 times)

Siuwa

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Sheer Gold
« on: August 16, 2017, 07:32:26 AM »
CHARACTER

Name: Sheer Gold

Age: 18, born Klever 14th

Species and Gender: Human Male

Symbol:
Spoiler: show


Occupation: 2nd year Beacon student

Appearance: He is 155 cm tall and weight about 65 kg. His skin is akin to slightly dark Asians IRL, and his face constitutes of slightly small golden eyes, a small nose and a mouth just wider than one of his eye. He has a simple, short black hair on his head. He usually wears a red jacket, aquamarine jeans, a backpack and a red hat. His scroll is also red. The red hat is also worn over his school uniform.
In combat, his clothes is thicker and had long sleeves. This is the same as his clothing in winter, except he just put on a warm extra jacket. His voice have about the same average pitch amd volume as students of his age.

History: Smear was born in the city of Vale, very close to the academy. In very early days of his life, he played toys and learned basic things just like any other children, with the notable part being there's no preschool education which leads to his relaxed attitude. He grew up watching students moving in and huntsman moving out of the school, but his interest in becoming a huntsman only came when he watched the Vytal festival tournament when he's 8. One player in particular he liked, which beats her opponent simply by hitting hard and fast. She didn't win due to an opponent tricking her to get her ringed out, but Smear thought if he became a huntsman he could do the same and be the one who trick others. With that in mind, he enrolled in Signal using the years between the tournament and Signal age training in running and building strength which turns out he had a talent in them too, while also learning the basics of tactics.
He did well in what he have trained for, speed, strength and tactical knowledge, but the fields he haven't, he barely hung on. His combat skill is left untouched in theses years, and he isn't exactly quick to pick it up. He can't hit a man-sized target with a majority of the pellets at 10 meters with his shotgun while maintaining anywhere close to respectable fire rate, and even the teachers jokes about how he would be used for target practice by some random evil overlord. While he can hit hard and fast in a fight, he is basically doomed if he's restricted. And he neither have a melee weapon nor any experience on them. This combined with the discovery of his semblance cemented his support role. By the end of Signal, he has further specialized in his roles and advantages and is probably a year behind on the weak ones.
He was accepted into Beacon by being lucky enough not having to strain his weakness, and is considered one of the best supports and tacticians for the year, but now he got so horribly defeated in hand to hand and melee combat he almost thought of being absent to all the lessons. He was warned that he would not be able to advance anymore if he can't either improve or find a reliable way around his weakness in the beginning of his 2nd year.


Personality: He is relaxed and mostly cheery on day to day life, and spends his time to play board games and computer games when not training. He likes to get his friend involved in whatever he's doing. He is much happier if he is seen along with his friends, but he relies on others to do most of the things. In return(he thinks), he would gladly help friends in need like giving most of his aura to a friend for his mission and not take any that day, or lending his Lien for things as expensive as a new scroll. This could usually be done to a dangerous extent like leaving him without food money, or lending his aura when there's a mission hours after his friends' estimated time to return.  He doesn't dislike people holding different opinion than himself or people who he sees as rivals. What he does dislike however is sore losers (regardless of who they lost to), and he had records of immediately challenging them at the first available moment with varying degrees of victory and loss. He is a clear supporter of Faunas rights and would usually speak up for the topic, but he just wished white fang will turn back to their more peaceful side.

Aura and Semblance: His aura is red-colored. His aura is tested to be extra vulnerable to dust taking about twice the damage compared to someone of the same aura amount.
His semblance is Baton Pass. It allow Him to transfer Aura, strength and speed to one or more team members. It activates when both parties is in touch and they have agreed on what and how much to transfer and can adjust or end when they are in touch again and agrees so. It would also end when one party is unconscious, then the transferred stats, even aura as his capacity in aura is given along with, will be vanished and needs a week to recover. It lasts 12 hours and is reset whenever His weakness for dust Transferring usually takes longer than ten seconds even when he decides to give almost all of his strength, aura and speed. According to him, when trying to go past his remaining speed or strength, it feels like something is pushing against it preventing him from doing so. The semblance can also be used to provide buff to more than one person at the same time but the given amount of aura/strength/speed is conserved. The transferred aura does not suffer the weakness of his aura.

Combat Behavior: He calls himself a fast bulky physical support. Because of his semblance he often forgo battling himself and give his aura, speed and strength to his teammate and let them do the heavy working. If he has to fight himself, he will try to kite and do quick approaches and heavy punches or point blank shotgun blasts to quickly sweep down enemies. He also tends to plan before attacking based on his team, but those plans usually either leave himself open to attacks or need a guard to keep him safe, And they mostly consists of timing an attack and launching a new one when the enemies think it's done, or attacking from different angles at once, although he does well in other context too.
His raw power would be comparable to:
  • Capable of keeping up with non-sudden burst speedster of the same year before semblance boost in speed and fight at that speed
  • Hit softer than dedicated hard hitters but noticeably above average
  • Can take a few more hits than average students and take one or two more from dedicated hitters
His biggest vulnerability is his lack of skill and technique. His usage of his weapon is brutally simple: Get close, blast the enemy, and make a U-turn. This is easily predictable and if the enemy keep his range, he can't reliably hit targets beyond 10 meters despite the weapon being still very effective at that range. In melee, his is also not skilled and can be forced into a situation where his strength and speed can not be used in its fullest extent. And even knowing this weakness he doesn't spend much time training in these fields, instead training in raw power and relying on speedblitzing and overpowering his opponent.  He also do not carry dust for usages other than ammo, which limits his offensive option and other utilities.
After careful diagnosis it was found that some form of disability hampers his ability to form muscle memory, which means he would have a hard time improving his skills even if he dedicated his time to train in them.

+Good Support semblance and the stats to back it up
+Fast speed
+Above average strength
+Above average aura
+Use "nasty" plots to plan attacks

-Strong, but VERY unskilled, on marksmanship, melee and hand to hand combat and will have a hard time learning
-No dust usage except dust propelled bullets
-Dust is super effective against him

WEAPON

Name: Focus Blast

Primary Form: A single barrel shotgun colored in pure red. It has the barrel length of about 50 cm and is semi-automatic. He brings 10 cartridges each with 5 rounds with him in combat, and one cartridge with extra-powerful rounds in them.

Dust Functions: Dust is used to fire the pellets. For every trigger pull 9 pellets is shot with a spread of approximately 10 cm radius for every 5 meters of traveled length. It is high powered enough to one hit kill most common, non major/alpha Grimm, and those can usually be killed with a close headshot too. For even more power shots with much more dust content is used, able to punch through armors of a boarbatusk or even a death stalker at close to point blank. This more powerful round however creates recoil that takes out about 5 percent of his aura and pushes him back about one step.

History: It is originally forged at his time at Signal and is replaced part by part during his time in Becaon until it looked like a completely new bought gun. He would rather not think about the "ship of Theseus" problem of his gun.
« Last Edit: August 31, 2017, 05:01:24 AM by Siuwa »
Catalina Glenn - first year Beacon Academy student - "Not funny, dude! And not dudes... and everyone else... " - Cata, Cat.
Infrared Ray - fourth year Atlas academy student - "So it's __ and __(insert name here) meets each other."
Sheer Gold - second year Beacon academy student - "This is super effective!"

Siuwa

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Re: Smear Gold
« Reply #1 on: August 17, 2017, 11:43:29 AM »
First name changed from "Smeet" to "Smear".
Edit: Name change again, from "Smear" to "Sheer"
« Last Edit: August 26, 2017, 01:12:47 AM by Siuwa »
Catalina Glenn - first year Beacon Academy student - "Not funny, dude! And not dudes... and everyone else... " - Cata, Cat.
Infrared Ray - fourth year Atlas academy student - "So it's __ and __(insert name here) meets each other."
Sheer Gold - second year Beacon academy student - "This is super effective!"

Kingnoname1

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Re: Sheer Gold
« Reply #2 on: August 28, 2017, 11:40:07 PM »
Sorry for the late reply, Mods being mods.

Firstly we would like a little more detail on the appearance front. How does he hold himself? What does he sound like? School uniform? ect ect (Kali edit: And hair)

So his physical capabilities seem a little too strong and varied. A jack of all trades being a little better than average at everything is fine but being able to keep up with speed semblances is a lot more than a little better. Remember most fast characters are fast even before their semblance so basing his basic abilities on another characters semblance boosted self is probably the wrong direction.

As for the weakness it simply seems either too easy to overcome or a bit confusing. I would either add additional weaknesses or provide a deeper explanation for his difficulty learning. Perhaps a learning or memory disability?

As for minor stuff there a few grammar mistakes and Smeet still appears in the profile, twice in history to be specific. I'd advise using one of those reading tools but it's not going to stop in getting accepted if you fix everything else.
« Last Edit: August 28, 2017, 11:56:48 PM by Kaliot »
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

Siuwa

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Re: Sheer Gold
« Reply #3 on: August 31, 2017, 05:03:26 AM »
Appearance is filled, raw stats nerfed, and a learning disability is added.
Catalina Glenn - first year Beacon Academy student - "Not funny, dude! And not dudes... and everyone else... " - Cata, Cat.
Infrared Ray - fourth year Atlas academy student - "So it's __ and __(insert name here) meets each other."
Sheer Gold - second year Beacon academy student - "This is super effective!"

Kingnoname1

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Re: Sheer Gold
« Reply #4 on: September 02, 2017, 10:51:25 PM »
Looks all good to me, because it was a team review with Kali, Seig, Gus and myself I'll move it straight to approved.

Best of luck.
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy