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Author Topic: Aoife Alaura  (Read 567 times)

Dusty

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Aoife Alaura
« on: May 20, 2017, 02:00:19 PM »
CHARACTER

Name:
Aoife Alaura

Age:
17

Species and Gender:
Human Female

Symbol:
Opposite facing rose and poppy with intertwined stems.

Occupation:
First Year Beacon Student

Appearance:
Aoife is a pretty enough young girl, with shoulder length dyed mahogany hair, with her blonde roots poking through, and amber eyes. She's 5'4 and weighs 145 lbs, not that she's gonna tell you that. Her nose is larger than average, something she isn't very fond of, and she wears braces. Nadine prefers to keep her hair tied up in a French braid. In terms of make-up, she prefers it to be very in your faces, wearing dark red lipstick, black eye shadow, mascara and winged eyeliner sharp enough to cut with.

For her clothing style, Aoife leans towards the punk rock look, wearing a black denin miniskirt over a pair of crimson leggings, with a red plaid long sleeved shirt that she leaves open to reveal a black waistcoat with red buttons. She wears black combat boots and fingerless gloves, and has a black belt that contains a holster for the Ace of Roses as well several ammo holders.

Out of combat, Aoife mixes it up a little, replacing her leggings and shorts with a pair of blue full length ripped jeans, and swapping her plaid shirt with a black leather jacket. She also lets her hair down to flow around her shoulders.

History:
Aoife's story doesn't really start with her birth, but back when her father, Seán, graduated Haven. He was the typical student really, idealistic and hopeful, and he wanted to make a difference. However, he'd been forced into becoming a huntsman by his aunt that didn't want to mind him and was pretty okay with shipping off her last living relative to private school where he might die. No better way of getting rid of an unwanted pest really.

Also, Seán was a coward at heart. In school, it was easy enough to work around, with his teammates and friends close by to keep him supported and safe. But out in the real world? Where the only thing that kept him safe from the monsters was his own skill? He just couldn't hack it. He did try, sure, but even the simplest of jobs left him quaking in his boots, and after a few months he gave in. He rented an apartment in Vale and started blocking out his fears and nightmares with alcohol.

Seán continued this frankly pathetic existence for years, and when his debts started piling up, he'd attempt to gamble his way out of them. This didn't change when a woman he'd had an affair with during his brief stint at being a hero turned up and dropped an unwanted three year old girl on his doorstep. If anything, it got worse, as attempting to do right by the kid he'd never really wanted only added to his debts.

For Aoife, life started to go downhill pretty much immediately. She got in trouble with her teachers and started hanging out with the "wrong crowd", as they were referred to. As kid, they really didn't do much wrong, but with age comes stupidity and the teenage years. Aoife and her friends headed down what most consider to be the wrong road, drinking, smoking and fighting at a young age, and doing other stuff that'd make most parents weep. And beneath it all, Aoife was struggling with mixed feelings for the man that raised her but couldn't do anything for himself. She both loved and hated her father. Hated his cowardice and demons, but loved him for caring for her and trying his best to treat her to something good whenever he could. The one bit of rebellion she never brought herself to was skipping school. Doing so would waste money they really didn't have.

When Aoife was thirteen, Seán had a stroke of luck. He won big at a cards tournament, and for the first time in years they actually had a large amount of disposable income. Well, large for them anyway. Seán payed off his debts and managed to find a cheap house in the suburbs for them to move to, as part of his new plan to turn everything around and become a better man. Aoife, meanwhile, had by now decided that he really was never gonna improve all that much, and felt that she had to do something herself, else she end up on the same rubbish road that Seán was on. And what better way to do that than become the very thing that Seán couldn't: a huntress. She started on a mission to frustrate him into training her, cause he really wasn't all that bad a fighter, and using his style only made her goal seem that much more worthy of her life. Eventually, he gave in, having realised that she'd only end up doing it herself anyway. He used the last of his winnings to secure her a place in Signal, while also training her himself whenever he got the opportunity to do so. And, when she managed to get into Beacon, he may have opened his first bottle of run in years. But that's not for her to know.

Personality:
Aoife is a rebel at heart, doing her best to live her life by no one's rules but her own. She is one hundred percent focused on keeping control over her own fate, and won't let anyone boss her around without damn good reason. She's crass, arrogant, rude and reckless, and anyone who's in her presence is gonna figure that out pretty quickly, whether they like it or not. She's tactlessly honest, and very much in your face about it, the kind of person that'll call you out on your nonsense. Most don't like her for these reasons, but those that befriend her find that she's very loyal to her friends, even if she keeps the attitude with them.

Underneath this, though, is actually just a little girl that's tired of being pushed around in life. She's had bad friends and bad times, living life afraid that she'd go home one day and find her father dead, either from alcohol or a debt left too long. Despite his many flaws, she does love him dearly, and that's why she feels she has to become a huntress: so she can recover their "family honour" and prove, to the both of them, that the Alaura name won't just be known for cowards.

Aura and Semblance:
Aura Colour

Being raised by a gambler caused Aoife to learn how randomness can affect everything, and her semblance was born from this upbringing. In effect, she's able to infuse her bullets with aura that allow them to "bounce" off of objects, a maximum of seven times, though she can put in less aura for less bounces, if required. Aoife has zero control over what way the bullet bounces, making this semblance dangerous for everyone involved. The bullets cannot penetrate objects while bouncing, but still retain their force, so they'll still hurt if they hit. After the final bounce, the bullet regains it's normal penetrative properties. While shot, the bullet glows red and leaves a trail that persists until the bullet has lost all of it's momentum. Aoife can only use this once a minute.

Spoiler: show
I am going to use a random number generator to decide if it hit or not. 1-20, with the number of bounces being the number needed. So, if it came up with a 2, then it would hit on the second strike. Not autohit, but in the target would have to react. Final hit would act as a normal bullet.


Combat Behaviour
In battle, Aoife's a skirmisher, preferring to dart in and out of close quarters while hammering her target with bullets. Taught how to fist fight by a friend, she has what some may call a brutal style that focuses on beating an enemy into submission by repeatedly striking weak areas such as joints and the throat with her fists, feet, knees, elbows or gun, whichever is easiest at the time. She only goes in when she's confident in her ability to win the confrontation, which she attempts to ensure via her gun. Take a shot or two, dart in and strike, back up and shoot again. Aoife isn't very good at defence, however, and neither is she particularly strong. This, combined with her semblance's unpredictable nature, means that unless she gets in good shots with the Ace of Roses, her fights are probably gonna last a while.

When confronted with either a highly durable enemy, or a large group of them, Aoife switches to her rifle, the Fortuitous Radiance. From here, she takes a more supportive role, sticking to the mid range and focusing down enemies as quickly and efficiently as possible

Weapons

Name:
Ace of Roses

Primary Form:
A red and black 8 round revolver. The majority of the gun is black, with only the cylinder, hammer, sights and butt painted red. The barrel has Nadine's symbol painted on it, and the cylinder has a red club, diamond, heart and spade designed on it, equal distances apart. Aoife carries 64 spare bullets, for a total of 72 shots with the Ace of Roses.

Name:
Fortuitous Radiance

Primary Form:
An primarily red assault rifle with a black stock and a black sling that she can use to throw Radiance over her shoulder when not in use. The rifle uses a red dot scope and twenty round magazines that contain either FMJ or hollow point rounds, depending on what Aoife requires at the time, and she carries 3 magazines of each type.

History:
Her father's old gun, which she effectively took for her own when she decided to become a huntress. She had it repainted from it's old blue and green colour scheme, while adding her symbol to the barrel, and the card motifs were included as a reminder of why she's on this quest of hers in the first place.

Fortuitous Radiance, meanwhile, was created at Signal Academy as a way for her to engage tougher or more numerous foes than what the Ace of Roses would normally be capable of.

Timeworker

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Re: Aoife Alaura
« Reply #1 on: May 25, 2017, 08:27:39 AM »
Ok so here's my feedback

History:
I really like the history and how it was written but currently she doesn't have enough combat experience to put her in a place where she would pass the Beacon exam. I suggest when her dad comes upon the sum of money to put Her through a combat academy like signal first. It could allow her to get more experience, fix some attitude, explain in a realistic way how she got a professional fighting style, and leading into my next point ...

Weapon
I don't usually go into this area but this weapon isn't enough to battle Grimm. Your fists and a plain revolver won't be enough to combat deadly Grimm. There is a reason that people usually build their own weapons in Signal and it's because normal weapons don't work, or don't work nearly as well.
If they did the military could just go in there with a couple or rifles and- you get the picture.

Anyway shes good character! A little edgey around the corners but nothing that breaks reality.
I look forward to her edits
Griz Blancard 1st Year Student at Beacon"I need a nap"
Dorothy Burgundy 3rd Year Shade, Elite Scavenger "Treasure is everywhere, you just need to know where to look!"
Xavier Cendres2nd year Beacon "Everything can be solved with a wrench, screwdriver, and a whole lot of time"

Vox Machinae

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Re: Aoife Alaura
« Reply #2 on: May 25, 2017, 09:40:50 AM »


Ok so here's my feedback

It's been a while since I tore apart a reviewer...



Quote
Weapon
I don't usually go into this area but this weapon isn't enough to battle Grimm. Your fists and a plain revolver won't be enough to combat deadly Grimm.

Volume 1. Episode 6.

Volume 3. Episode 10.



Did you even watch the fucking show? We have people doing lethal damage to Grimm with those exact fucking implements though aided with aura in the case of bare hands.

Quote
There is a reason that people usually build their own weapons in Signal and it's because normal weapons don't work, or don't work nearly as well.



We have no evidence in show that's the case. Stop pulling things out of your ass, this isn't the Wikia.

Quote
If they did the military could just go in there with a couple or rifles and- you get the picture.

That seems to be Atlas's plan with the AK-200s, and it falls apart due to Atlas being incompetent at network security moreso than their firepower.



So... again... did you watch the fucking show?

Quote
I look forward to her edits

I look forward to the review staff of this site watching the fucking show.


Dusty

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Re: Aoife Alaura
« Reply #3 on: May 27, 2017, 01:25:22 PM »
After struggling to work out exactly what to do in this situation, I decided to add to Aoife, giving her an assault rifle to combat the bigger enemies she may encounter, as well as sending her to Signal, which is where she constructed it. I have added to the combat behaviour and history appropriately.

Vox Machinae

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Re: Aoife Alaura
« Reply #4 on: May 27, 2017, 01:58:16 PM »
Your choice, but just for the record, Timeworker was dead fucking wrong.

And also a moron.

« Last Edit: May 27, 2017, 02:22:31 PM by Vox Machinae »

Dr. Gustave

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Re: Aoife Alaura
« Reply #5 on: June 02, 2017, 01:03:15 PM »
I'm just gonna go ahead and ignore everything between the profile and here. So, sorry for the late response. This is a group review with both myself and Janus, so you only need one approval from this.

Pretty much everything looks good, we just need some clarification on the semblance. "In effect, she's able to infuse her bullets with aura that allow them to "bounce" off of objects, a maximum of seven times." seem to imply that she can stop the bullet prior to 7 bounces, if that's the case, cool. If not then my only concern is the weirdness that might come with having to write 7 random ricochets.
Spoiler: Atlas • show
Mercenary: Kol Augur ~ The Judicator of Atlas
Speaking: #5C5054 Thinking: #EAC117
Spoiler: Mistral • show
Huntress-in-Training: Aca Roth ~ Member of Team RWND
Speaking: #E05260 Thinking: #EA857F
Huntress-in-Training: Brook Pallas ~ Member of Team CNBR
Speaking: #4863A0 Thinking: #98AFC7
White Fang Captain: Cornix ~ Survivor of Mistral and Captain in Vale
Speaking: #D0DAE0 Thinking: #BCC6CC
Council Member: Phaedo Katsaros ~ Figurehead for Faunus/Human relations
Speaking: #667C26 Thinking: #B6CC76
Spoiler: Vacuo • show
40th Vytal Tournament Champion: Zabar Aga ~ Member of Team DAWN
Speaking: #CD7F32 Thinking: #EE9A4D
Spoiler: Vale • show
Huntress: Malina Nahualli ~ Leader of Team MCCA
Speaking: #B3346C Thinking: #8B0C44
Beacon Professor: Titania Printemps ~ Assistant Headmistress of Beacon Academy
Speaking: #4AA02C Thinking: #E55B3C

Janus Rogo

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Re: Aoife Alaura
« Reply #6 on: June 02, 2017, 01:05:12 PM »
The question we were wondering is "Can she 'aim' the ricochets?" Bounce shots around corners, between enemies, etc. Pool/pinball style.

Dusty

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Re: Aoife Alaura
« Reply #7 on: June 02, 2017, 01:20:50 PM »
Well, what I was thinking was that she could, theoretically put less in and only have, say, 4 bounces instead of the full 7. She has zero control over this, and, from a mechanics standpoint, I was going to use a random number generator to decide if it hit or not. 1-20, with the number of bounces being the number needed. So, if it came up with a 2, then it would hit on the second strike. Not autohit, but in the target would have to react. Final hit would act as a normal bullet.

Do you want me to add that in under a spoiler tag?

Dr. Gustave

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Re: Aoife Alaura
« Reply #8 on: June 05, 2017, 10:28:31 AM »
Weird. I swear I responded to this already. Sorry bout that, all you need to do is implement that someway into the profile so that those reading it get that idea. After that, you're all good.
Spoiler: Atlas • show
Mercenary: Kol Augur ~ The Judicator of Atlas
Speaking: #5C5054 Thinking: #EAC117
Spoiler: Mistral • show
Huntress-in-Training: Aca Roth ~ Member of Team RWND
Speaking: #E05260 Thinking: #EA857F
Huntress-in-Training: Brook Pallas ~ Member of Team CNBR
Speaking: #4863A0 Thinking: #98AFC7
White Fang Captain: Cornix ~ Survivor of Mistral and Captain in Vale
Speaking: #D0DAE0 Thinking: #BCC6CC
Council Member: Phaedo Katsaros ~ Figurehead for Faunus/Human relations
Speaking: #667C26 Thinking: #B6CC76
Spoiler: Vacuo • show
40th Vytal Tournament Champion: Zabar Aga ~ Member of Team DAWN
Speaking: #CD7F32 Thinking: #EE9A4D
Spoiler: Vale • show
Huntress: Malina Nahualli ~ Leader of Team MCCA
Speaking: #B3346C Thinking: #8B0C44
Beacon Professor: Titania Printemps ~ Assistant Headmistress of Beacon Academy
Speaking: #4AA02C Thinking: #E55B3C

Dusty

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Re: Aoife Alaura
« Reply #9 on: June 05, 2017, 10:36:17 AM »
I've put it under a spoiler tag in the semblance section, and added that she can have less than 7 bounces as well, as I mentioned above.

Dr. Gustave

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Re: Aoife Alaura
« Reply #10 on: June 05, 2017, 11:08:27 AM »
Alright, good to go. Approved and moved.
Spoiler: Atlas • show
Mercenary: Kol Augur ~ The Judicator of Atlas
Speaking: #5C5054 Thinking: #EAC117
Spoiler: Mistral • show
Huntress-in-Training: Aca Roth ~ Member of Team RWND
Speaking: #E05260 Thinking: #EA857F
Huntress-in-Training: Brook Pallas ~ Member of Team CNBR
Speaking: #4863A0 Thinking: #98AFC7
White Fang Captain: Cornix ~ Survivor of Mistral and Captain in Vale
Speaking: #D0DAE0 Thinking: #BCC6CC
Council Member: Phaedo Katsaros ~ Figurehead for Faunus/Human relations
Speaking: #667C26 Thinking: #B6CC76
Spoiler: Vacuo • show
40th Vytal Tournament Champion: Zabar Aga ~ Member of Team DAWN
Speaking: #CD7F32 Thinking: #EE9A4D
Spoiler: Vale • show
Huntress: Malina Nahualli ~ Leader of Team MCCA
Speaking: #B3346C Thinking: #8B0C44
Beacon Professor: Titania Printemps ~ Assistant Headmistress of Beacon Academy
Speaking: #4AA02C Thinking: #E55B3C