Author Topic: David Stride (Review now)  (Read 641 times)

Synchro1

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David Stride (Review now)
« on: December 29, 2017, 06:19:08 PM »
CHARACTER

Name: David Stride

Age: 16

Species and Gender: Male Human

Symbol:  His symbol is a simple black circle hidden on his back

Occupation: Beacon First Year

Appearance:
credit to timeless knight: ShowHide




David has blonde-white hair, and averages out at a height of 5'3". He has a few muscles, mostly in his arms as he carries a big sword, and his eyes are red and often hidden behind a pair of shades. David hides behind his mode of clothing of a shirt with a broken record on it, some cargo pants and maybe a hoodie. He always wears his shades, so seeing his eyes are pretty pointless.

History: David grew with his brother in Erika, near Mistral. His brother constantly filled the house with shitty puppets and plastic swords, and David grew up with that influence. but in between the rooftop fights and music making, David had to endure bouts of starvation and sickness, as he usually went a long time with no food or medicine. That has only made David grow in strength, as it taught him to cook. After he became a somewhat decent cook, he moved to get away from his brother, out in Vale, and to enroll to Signal. His signal years were stressful and he got average grades in everything.

Personality: David is rather obsessed with appearing "Ironic" and "Cool". He has a sense of superiority in these categories, but is honestly a friendly person in general. He feels dedicated to his charade of acting all cool and hip that he doesn't even realize that the same person he idolized, his brother, he also holds a bit of hatred in him for being the uncaring parent. He also gets a little unhinged and angry when others insult his beliefs and convictions, and may go on a tangent to defend it. Or stab the person.

Aura and Semblance: Orange-red

His semblance is called "Music Theory", and it basically turns any music he plays into a weaponized explosion, depending on several factors. The amount he can use a weapon at once is a music sheet's length, and he can only use one type of instrument during the weaponization. He cannot switch in between, and cannot change the tempo and pattern once it has been set. any attempt to will fizzle out the music, or explode directly in his face. David can only aim it at a range of 200 ft (~60m) to whichever way he looks at. He also can change the effects on the enemy depending on which genre he sets it to. Hip-Hop/Rap burns the enemy alive, Instrumental causes an explosion, Chill freezes the enemy and Drum and Bass causes a small earthquake.

In a small ratio of 1:3, 1 being aura generated and 3 being aura consumed, David can project holographic instruments to create his weapons. However, since the ration consumes a lot of aura, he can only hold the instruments for a total of 15 minutes before it shatters and he regens his aura.

David has a list of "Fusions" he can make using a technique that at the cost of energy per sheet, he can "Layer". He takes the original sheet of music he made, and stores it within a sheet slot, and then creates another sheet with a different instrument, and it gets layered on top of the original to produce a new sheet of music with different effects.

Combat Behavior:  David is more of an eccentric person, fighting not because he wants to, but because he was forced to. His moves can get somewhat sluggish at times and he has no inkling of battle theory or the application of it. He's unpredictable in combat and messes up at almost everything. But in those mess-ups can put his strategy in motion, and/or destroy any hope he has of winning the fight. He borders on pacifism, namely due to the torment his brother gave him during the earlier years of his life. When he's angry, he packs a punch. He becomes even more unpredictable in the sense that he gets angry, which is really rare for him to achieve, seeing as he's a total pacifist walking a fine line.

WEAPON

Name: Gravitron 2.0

Primary Form:
Gravitron: ShowHide




History: While on the way to Vale, David stumbled onto an abandoned warzone with dead bodies scattered and swords everywhere. picking one of them up, David began modifying it at signal.
« Last Edit: January 06, 2018, 08:42:10 PM by Synchro1 »
WIP David Stride --- The Ironic Swordsman

Kingnoname1

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Re: David Stride
« Reply #1 on: December 30, 2017, 02:59:24 AM »
I'm a bit curious why you don't work on the characters currently languishing in MiA but I still look forward to see what you add to this. The only thing I'll ask this early on is that rather than locking David's semblance to a music sheets length have a general time. A music sheet wouldn't be consistent given differing time signatures but yea looks interesting.
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

Ramalia - RASB - First Year Shade

Synchro1

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Re: David Stride
« Reply #2 on: December 30, 2017, 05:52:52 PM »
honestly? I forgot their themes and what my original plan was for them.
WIP David Stride --- The Ironic Swordsman

Synchro1

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Re: David Stride (Review now)
« Reply #3 on: January 02, 2018, 12:36:15 PM »
anyone can review this at any time.
WIP David Stride --- The Ironic Swordsman

Kingnoname1

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Re: David Stride (Review now)
« Reply #4 on: January 04, 2018, 07:26:30 PM »
Specifics first I suppose.
  • So again as a sheet of music isn't a consistent length of time you should find a more immediately recognisable time frame, simply saying it takes a moderate amount of time would be better.
  • Reason for being a hunter? It's not mentioned in the history and I suppose you could see it as simply trying to be cool as his personality epitomises but you also say he is almost pacifist in the combat behaviour.
  • Your semblance won't be able to be both creation of aura constructs as well as causing explosions and you don't reabsorb aura spent on aura constructs. Also going to need some more detail on what exactly the fusions are and how they would work in rp situation.
  • I don't know if it's just a meme but in case it's not you can't have Excalibur.

More generally I would really like to see you write a bit more on the character as a whole. Although you haven't had a character approved so our standards are going to be pretty low you have put forward three into character creation proper. I would appropriate if you use some of the advice given to your previous characters if applicable.
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

Ramalia - RASB - First Year Shade

Synchro1

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Re: David Stride (Review now)
« Reply #5 on: January 06, 2018, 08:54:46 PM »
lol, caledflwch was indeedy a meme weapon because it was broken, nonetheless, changed it
WIP David Stride --- The Ironic Swordsman