Author Topic: Kisha Miles  (Read 778 times)

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Kisha Miles
« on: October 14, 2017, 11:22:29 AM »
CHARACTER

Name: Kisha Miles

Age: 17

Species and Gender: Human, Female

Symbol:



Occupation: First year beacon student

Theme: Tangled by NyxTheShieldOFFICIAL

Appearance:

 
Spoiler: show
 
Art belongs to ChosenVowels


Kisha stands at 1,65cm and weighs 62kg, with an average slim build. Her brown shaded hair reaches to the base of her neck, mainly left messy. She has a pale, round face, with a small nose and slightly big brown eyes.

Whenever it isn't required to wear the school uniform, you can see her wearing a brown hoodie. The hood represent the face of a cartoon-guinea pig, containing ears, eyes and a mouth. The word 'schoko' is printed under said face and on a name tag over her left chest.
Her black belt is equipped with a belt holster for her dagger on the left, her symbol on the right.

History:

Kisha was born in a small village named Stemswell, which is located in the eastern end of vale. She spend most of her life with her grandparents. Her parents were highly respected Huntsmen, who were always asked to do the most dangerous missions there are. That resultes in them not being at home a lot. She spent most of her day in the cocolate shop her grandparents owned, helping out wherever she could.

Even though Kisha didn't spend much time with her parents, she always looked up to them and made her goal early on, to become a huntress as well. She started practicing with a wooden sword when she was 9 and was given a bow a year after to train with. At the age of 13 she entered a combat school near her village. Soon after, a message arrived at the chocolate shop. Both of her parents died on the mission they were participate in, together with 3 other huntsmen. The exact cause for their death however, is still unknown. Even after her parents death, she kept on training and looked forward.
She took courses to learn how to make and modify weapons and with the age of 16 she made her weapon Cocoa. As beacon started to invite Students to learn at their academy again, she signt up immediately and passed the entrance exam with flying colours.

Personality:

Kisha has a very kind, caring, and cheerful personality. She brings her hyperactiv nature alonge to wherever she is, often seen jumping around from place to place, changing the topic while talking, or running around when it's not appropriate. When Kisha talks, many of her words may sometimes come out randomly without her actually giving much thought to anything she comes up with. Kisha is very open with her companions and quickly grows fond of them. Despite the morally dodgy nature that she sometimes displayed, Kisha can act quite serious in battle. She also has a sense of humor and enjoys messing with people, keeping things lighthearted.

Aura and Semblance:

Kisha's Aura is Ember colored

Her semblance gives her the ability to creat portals.


She Forms a circle with both hands creating a portal on each side. She then can throw them like a frisbee wherever she wants to and the portal will stay there, even if this place is midst the air. The portals have an reach for about 30-40 meters. Kisha can only create two portals at once. If she tries to create a third one, the first one will disappear. Everything and everyone can go through the portals but everyone besides Kisha will get serious balance problems, through not being used to it. Kisha also can decide the size of the portals, and how long they stay open. They don't have a timelimit and leaving them open for a long time doesn't effect Kisha's endurance, as long she is conscious. The bigger the portals are, the more exhausted she get. It may happen that the portals close while something or someone is still in there. If this Person or thing is more that 50% through the portal, it will being blast out of it, due to pressure. If the person is less than 50% in the portal it will be thrown back.

(A vid to the portals uhm... pls ignore the other stuff..)

Combat Behavior:

Kisha never fought a lot with other people in her past, which makes her more effective in a 1 vs 1 fight. She prefers to fight defensive rather than offensive which leads to her using her weapon in it's bow form befor turning it to her sword. One exceptions would be, if she don't have any cover from where to shoot. In a open field she will mostly likely uses her weapon in the sword form first.

Even though she never fought in a group she will be cooperative and will listen to her leader. She can come up with strategies herself, but those are mostly not foolproof, and can even have some major lacks if she has to think about one while she's under stress. Her main strategie in situations like this is to creat some distance between her and her opponent with her portals.
Kisha is fast and maneuverable, which is important. She doesn't wear any armor and if she gets hit, the hit WILL leave a mark.


WEAPON

Name: Cocoa

Primary Form:

Cocoa, in his primary form, is a dagger with an blade length of 40 and a width of 3cm. It's made out of light materials and weighs about 2kg.

Secondary Form:

The dagger blade of Cocoa extends, changing it's lenght to 80cm, making it, including the handle, a 130cm long sword.

Tertiary Form:

Cocoa's third form is a longbow. Its arrows are modified with different kinds of dust. Her quiver is divided into four sections, each has his own type of dust, besides the fouth, which is mainly for normal arrows.
Each section can store maximal eight arrows.

Dusk Functions:

Ice arrows: When the Arrow hits the ground it can freeze an 0,5x0,5m area. If the arrow hits a Person, it will freeze the body part it hit, though the ice isn’t thick.

Fire arrows: The Arrow will cause a small fire on whatever it hits. The fire can be easily put out, but if its used the right way it can cause a lot of damage. The arrows can also be used as a torch.

Lightning arrows: As soon the arrow hits his target, the hit body part will cramp in a 10cm² area.


History:

Kisha’s parents died when she was 16. Even though she never had so much contact with them, she knew exactly which weapons they used. So she made a duplicate of them.


Other: Kisha has three hydrogen- and three smoke grenades attached to her pelt. The hydrogen grenades are mostly used together with the fire arrows to cause an explosion.
« Last Edit: April 18, 2018, 11:31:04 AM by DEXES »
The hyperactive weirdo Kisha Miles  - Team BSEK
Dragon tamer Mikado Drak - Team BSSM
Lone wolf Nami - Teamless

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Re: Kisha Miles
« Reply #1 on: October 15, 2017, 09:29:16 AM »
Chocolate eh? I love chocolate. Now, let's take a lookie here.

First thing noticeable are some minor grammatical and punctuation errors. If possible reread the profile and adjust the unnecessary capital letters and all that jazz.

Appearance seems fine. Face claim looks very quirky and chocolatey. Theme sticking, thats good. Symbol however seems odd for the theme, would have expected a chocolate bar or something else at first glance. No real problems.there but it looks a lil off.

History

Town doesn't seem to be a real thing in canon and we don't have any such named towns in our worldbuilds. Might be safer to just say " a small town to the west of vale" or something similar.

Quote
She took courses to learn how to make and modifie weapons and with 16 years she made her masterpiece Demanon.

I assume you mean by the age 16 and not 16 years of weapon making and training. The way it's written makes it a tad bit confusing. Please edit accordingly. Also it would.be adviseable to have her actually attend an initial combat academy where all the basics of weapin making and fighting would be covered. Unless you're planning on throwing her into Beacon with self training alone. Thats a bit unlikely.

The nature of the examination isn't exactly what usually happens. In fact we don't really know per se but in general it's expected to be akin to normal written exams and then an initiation(like in volume 1. the whole fling them into a forest bit)

Might need to remove the whole grimm fight unfortunately as her examination. If you do want to keep it however you can.insert it somewhere else in history like a random encounter and her victory increased her determination and the like. Just my two cents. Of course she'd actually have to know how to fight, hence the initial combat academy necessity or some other source of training.

(advice:  dont go the random hunstman teaching her bit. Becoming a little over used by people and it's kinda creepy)

Spacing and grammar could use a little brushing up if possible in this part. The beowolf foght looks like a block of text but it's not too important at the moment since its readable.

Personality seems fine, save for the sentence fragments and minor spelling errors and wall o' text again. Don't be afraid to use separate paragraphs for stuff.

A little suggestion though. She lost her parents and as a teen, her most emotional time in life, I'd expect something to come out of it. How did her parent's deaths affect her? Does remembering them trigger sadness or fond memories and determination?

Semblance. Again seems fine but the nausea thing could be lessebed to something like disorientation, seeing as how suddenly changing gravity would be weird. If you eabt to keep the nuasea I'd have to suggest amit affecting her as well but in all due honesty it's not really that needed.

Now, big question hers. How do the portals close? Do they close up? or do they poof away? What happens if something is stil between the portals, like a limb or a stick or a hard piece of steel? Would the portal still be functionable or would it cut the object, eject the object then close, or something else? This is important just in case something gets stuck in it during a thread.

Another question.

Can she make the portals hover in place? Can they stop at a specific place if she wanted to? Or do they need a flat surface like with the gane *Portal*?


Combat behaviour is fine as is I guess but a greatsword isn't easy to wield so the fast bit would be a bit off when using it. Sure it might still be swift cutting and all but no nearly as maneuverable as shroter weapons. Also wouldnt that get stuck in her portal with that height? *Shrug*


Weapon.

Damn, greatsword eh? Was expecting a giant chocolate mold missle launcher. Can't have em all I guess.

 Belt transformation seems odd, and I'm guessing it breaks apart like a snake blade whip for storage? Please clarify.

Bow image looks reaaaaly complicated despite the initial form. Though I'd take that more as a placeholder I guess.

Dust functions check out but I advise adding a unit of measurement to those area of effect arrows.

Thats all I guess for now. Please adjust accordingly.





« Last Edit: October 15, 2017, 09:37:08 AM by Xarias Fury »
Students
Wisteria Lockheart - 1st Year student at Beacon. "Don't make me throw a book at you"
Shiroe Pendragon - 1st Year Student at beacon - "This is my monochrome reality" - Team MARS
Lavender du Lac - 1st Year Student at Haven -  "The harder I try the further things drift away." Team RWND
Ayaka Miyamoto - 1st Year student at Beacon. "Tsubame Gaeshi!" - Team ALIA
Vermilion Desdemona - 3rd Year Student at Beacon - "Only time you'd be above me is when your head rests on my pike"
Talen de L'eglantine - 3rd Year Student at Beacon
Kei Almas - 4th Year Student at Beacon - "Everything is ripe for the taking!"
Aurum LeBlanc - 3rd Year Student at Atlas - "Lay back, take it easy, and watch the comedy unfold"

Professors
Professor William Nox - "To contain the world in a grain of dust *EXPOROSION*

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Re: Kisha Miles
« Reply #2 on: October 15, 2017, 12:35:13 PM »
Quote
First thing noticeable are some minor grammatical and punctuation errors. If possible reread the profile and adjust the unnecessary capital letters and all that jazz.
Well, my gramma isn´t that good in general, but I tried to fix most of it Oh, and I edit the captial letters to small ones

Quote
Symbol however seems odd for the theme, would have expected a chocolate bar or something else at first glance.
I did actually planned to use https://vramon249.files.wordpress.com/2016/03/chocolate.png but i wanted something in black and white but when I searched for something like this the results which were shown to me just didn´t fit in my opinion

Quote
Town doesn't seem to be a real thing in canon and we don't have any such named towns in our worldbuilds. Might be safer to just say " a small town to the west of vale" or something similar

Quote
I assume you mean by the age 16 and not 16 years of weapon making and training. The way it's written makes it a tad bit confusing. Please edit accordingly. Also it would.be adviseable to have her actually attend an initial combat academy where all the basics of weapin making and fighting would be covered. Unless you're planning on throwing her into Beacon with self training alone. Thats a bit unlikely.

I changed it with the town to only "a village in the west of vale" and I corrected the part with the age and that she went to an combat school

Quote
The nature of the examination isn't exactly what usually happens. In fact we don't really know per se but in general it's expected to be akin to normal written exams and then an initiation
Okay, just removed it  ;)

Quote
Personality seems fine, save for the sentence fragments and minor spelling errors and wall o' text again. Don't be afraid to use separate paragraphs for stuff.
I hope it´s okay like this

Quote
A little suggestion though. She lost her parents and as a teen, her most emotional time in life, I'd expect something to come out of it. How did her parent's deaths affect her? Does remembering them trigger sadness or fond memories and determination?

I edited that she was sad, but not for that long, because she new her parents didn´t want her to be sad for the rest of her life, but the mention of her parents will make her a bit depressive.

Quote
Semblance. Again seems fine but the nausea thing could be lessebed to something like disorientation, seeing as how suddenly changing gravity would be weird. If you eabt to keep the nuasea I'd have to suggest amit affecting her as well but in all due honesty it's not really that needed.
I changed it to only balance problems because others aren´t used to it

Quote
Now, big question hers. How do the portals close? Do they close up? or do they poof away? What happens if something is stil between the portals, like a limb or a stick or a hard piece of steel? Would the portal still be functionable or would it cut the object, eject the object then close, or something else? This is important just in case something gets stuck in it during a thread.

They stay open until Kisha decides to close them.

Quote
Can she make the portals hover in place? Can they stop at a specific place if she wanted to? Or do they need a flat surface like with the gane *Portal*?
They can stay in the air, without an wall behind them

I also edited a link to a video which may can help imagine how the portals work

Quote
Belt transformation seems odd, and I'm guessing it breaks apart like a snake blade whip for storage? Please clarify.
Belt? Maybe you prescribed, because the blade transforms and not the belt. Anyway, I´m not really sure how to descripe it better

Quote
Bow image looks reaaaaly complicated despite the initial form. Though I'd take that more as a placeholder I guess.
I changed the immage ;)


I hope I didn´t forget anything
The hyperactive weirdo Kisha Miles  - Team BSEK
Dragon tamer Mikado Drak - Team BSSM
Lone wolf Nami - Teamless

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Re: Kisha Miles
« Reply #3 on: October 17, 2017, 04:45:23 AM »
Okay so everything before the portals seems okay now though you did forget to say what would happen if someone stayed inside the portal hole while it was closing or disappearing.

Like for instance, wakfu dude could peek out and hit others but what if he cloaed the portal on himself or something else while it was still halfway through? That's the only thing I'm wondering about now.

For the weapon's belt storage. So it's like a very bendy sword when stored? does it segment like a snakeblade to be stored? or like a piece of flimsy paper inserted into a pocket of some sort?

Correction. Mixed that up with something else I read. Stupid mistake.
« Last Edit: October 17, 2017, 06:25:46 AM by Xarias Fury »
Students
Wisteria Lockheart - 1st Year student at Beacon. "Don't make me throw a book at you"
Shiroe Pendragon - 1st Year Student at beacon - "This is my monochrome reality" - Team MARS
Lavender du Lac - 1st Year Student at Haven -  "The harder I try the further things drift away." Team RWND
Ayaka Miyamoto - 1st Year student at Beacon. "Tsubame Gaeshi!" - Team ALIA
Vermilion Desdemona - 3rd Year Student at Beacon - "Only time you'd be above me is when your head rests on my pike"
Talen de L'eglantine - 3rd Year Student at Beacon
Kei Almas - 4th Year Student at Beacon - "Everything is ripe for the taking!"
Aurum LeBlanc - 3rd Year Student at Atlas - "Lay back, take it easy, and watch the comedy unfold"

Professors
Professor William Nox - "To contain the world in a grain of dust *EXPOROSION*

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Re: Kisha Miles
« Reply #4 on: October 17, 2017, 12:45:17 PM »
Okay so everything before the portals seems okay now though you did forget to say what would happen if someone stayed inside the portal hole while it was closing or disappearing

o It may happen that the portals close while something or someone is still in there. If this Person or thing is more that 50% through the portal, it will being plast out of it, due to pressure. If the person is less than 50% in the portal it will be thrown back through the other portal.
The hyperactive weirdo Kisha Miles  - Team BSEK
Dragon tamer Mikado Drak - Team BSSM
Lone wolf Nami - Teamless

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Re: Kisha Miles
« Reply #5 on: October 18, 2017, 01:25:45 AM »
I think you mean blast but tha ks for clarifying. Approved +1
Students
Wisteria Lockheart - 1st Year student at Beacon. "Don't make me throw a book at you"
Shiroe Pendragon - 1st Year Student at beacon - "This is my monochrome reality" - Team MARS
Lavender du Lac - 1st Year Student at Haven -  "The harder I try the further things drift away." Team RWND
Ayaka Miyamoto - 1st Year student at Beacon. "Tsubame Gaeshi!" - Team ALIA
Vermilion Desdemona - 3rd Year Student at Beacon - "Only time you'd be above me is when your head rests on my pike"
Talen de L'eglantine - 3rd Year Student at Beacon
Kei Almas - 4th Year Student at Beacon - "Everything is ripe for the taking!"
Aurum LeBlanc - 3rd Year Student at Atlas - "Lay back, take it easy, and watch the comedy unfold"

Professors
Professor William Nox - "To contain the world in a grain of dust *EXPOROSION*

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Re: Kisha Miles
« Reply #6 on: October 18, 2017, 04:05:41 PM »
Mostly grammar and stuff. Nothing really major.

Quote
Appearance:

With an hight of 1,65cm and a weight of 62kg, Kisha is in the average of an ‚normal‘ girl of her age. She has a pale skin color, brown eyes and a mix of different shades of brown colored, short hair. She has a round face, with a small nose and slightly big eyes.
  • "Height"
  • Should be "a" instead of "an". Also unsure about the use of the " , " and " ' "
Quote
History:

Kisha was born in a small village in the west of vale. She spend a lot of time with her grandparents (maternal) because her parents were often at work. They were huntsmen and huntress, but not just any. Kouta and Sy Miles were highly respected huntsmen and were always asked to do the most dangerous missions. They meet at beacon academy, got married and had a child, her. Her grandparents owned a Choclate shop, where she spend most of her time, helping to work. Thats were she got her nickname, Schoko. One of her friends started calling her like this, after saying she read in a book that schoko means chocolate in another language.
  • "Chocolate"
  • "That's where"
Quote
Even though Kisha didn't spend much time with her parents, she always looked up to them and she made her goal, to become a huntress just like them. She started practicing with a wooden sword when she was 9 and as a present for her 12 birthday her mother gave her a bow. She made herself an own schedule when to practice with what. At the age of 13 she enterd a combat school, even though she was good with her weapon already.
When she was 14 a message arrived at the chocolate shop. Both of her parents died on the mission they were participate in, together with 3 other huntsmen.
Although she was sad and depressed by her parents decease, she keept on training and looked forward. She new her parents didn´t want her to be sad for the rest of her life, even though remembering them will lead her to stop being that hyperactive for a while.
  • "Entered"
  • "kept"
  • "knew"
  • "didn't" (has extra space)
Quote
She took courses to learn how to make and modifie weapons and with the age of 16 she made her masterpiece Demanon. Right after that she sign in for the exam to be accepted to beacon academy.
  • "modify"
Quote
Personality:

Kisha is a kind and helpful woman. She acts a bit hyperactive and never knows when to shut up, what can lead to her friends telling her that she's annoying, which she always takes really serious. She was never good with criticism. Kisha always tyries to see the positive side of things and is always up for a joke. Even if she doesn't like someone, she will go up to this person and help them, if they really need it. For her, friendship is one of the most important things in the world, and she would do everything to protect her friends, what leads to her loyalty. If you have her trust once, what isn’t hard to earn, you have it forever, or untill you betray her. She than completely breaks down and falls into a short but bad depression.
  • "tries"
  • "until"
Quote
Even though she has a happy and silly nature she can be serious. If a fight takes a bad turn for her, her happiness shuts completely down and she tries everything to win. You can see similar reaction if somebody jokey about death or bullies people. She will probably forgive them in the end anyway, but untill than you really shouldn't mess with her.
  • "util"
Quote
For the student and learn part, she isn't the best option. Kisha often don't pay attention and is completely lost in thoughts while class. She also doesn't try hard with her studies. Her Motto is 'I trust my bad luck' and most of the time, she passes with an 2-3 (B-C)
  • A little awkward to read. Consider rewording. (Example: "When it comes to being a student, she isn't the best.")
  • "a"
Quote
Aura and Semblance:

Kisha’s semblace are portals.
  • "semblance"
Quote
It's rare, but sometimes a semblace can be inherited through the family. That's what happend to Kisha. She inherited the portals from her father
  • "semblance"
  • "happened"
  • Needs a period at the end.
Quote
She Forms a circle with both hands creating a portal on each side. She than can throw them like a frisbie wherever she wants to and the portal will stay there, even if this place is midst in the air. Kisha can only create two portals at once. If she tries to create a third one, the first one will disappear. Everything and everyone can go through the portals but everyone besides Kisha will get balance problems, through not being used to it. Kisha also can decide the size of the portals, and how long they stay open. They don´t have a timelimit and leaving them open for a long time doesn´t effect Kishas endurance, but the bigger the portals are, the more exhausted she get. The biggest portal she can create is only big enough to fit three Humans at once. It may happen that the portals close while something or someone is still in there. If this Person or thing is more that 50% through the portal, it will being blast out of it, due to pressure. If the person is less than 50% in the portal it will be thrown back through the other portal.
She will also be exhausted if she creates to many portals after another. After making ten portals she needs a break, if she doesn't take one, she will collapse.
  • "then"
  • "frisbee"
  • "doesn't"
  • "Kisha's"
  • Not a fan having no time limit, but they also don't really do anything by themselves. I'd at least like to see them break when he becomes unconscious and break after a certain distance (nothing that would interfere with combat, but for example, no ultra long-distance portaling between Atlas and Beacon or between Shade and Haven. Beacon to Forever Fall or Beacon to the city is probably OK, though).
  • (nothing here)
Quote
Combat Behavior:
Kisha never fought together with other people befor, which makes her more effective in a 1 vs 1 fight. She prefers to fight defensive rather than offensive which leads to her using her weapon in it's bow form befor turning it to her sword. One exceptions would be, if she don't have any cover from where to shoot. In a open field she will mostly likely uses her weapon in the sword form first.
  • "before" x2
Quote
Even though she never fought in a group she will be cooperative and will listen to her leader, but if she sees a better option for a plan herself, she will simple act on her own. Kisha is fast and maneuverable, which is important. She doesn't wear any armor and if she gets hit, the hit WILL leave a mark. Using her semblance in fights isn't rare either.
  • "simply"
Quote
Even though she likes it more to keep her semblance a secret from the enemy (If it's a human. she doesn't care if it's a grimm) The portals help her keeping her distance or to block attacks. They can also work as an escape route for her and her teammates (Although the sideeffect will give them balance problems)
She is good in improvise plans and she is a good strategist, still, she wouldn't be good as a leader, because she hate's to give people orders.
  • "side-effect"
Quote
WEAPON

Primary Form:

Demanon is in his primary Form a sword, a german "Zweihänder" to be exactly. It is wielded with both hands, is 130cm Long (80cm the Blade) and is 3cm wide. It weight 2 kg and the handle is made of light metal. Because of the length, it has a module where you can insert most of the blade, so that it can fit in a belt. Thanks to the module(s) It can also turn in his secondary Form. In the primary Form Demanon can not use dust
  • "weighs"
Quote
Fire arrows: The Arrow will make a small fire, Wherever it hits. It burns longer on meterial like wood or wool, than metall or stone, just like normal fire. It can’t be used in water or if it’s rainy.
  • "material"
  • "metal"
  • As a side-note, aura helps protect against burning.
Quote
Lightning arrows: As soon the arrow hits his target, the bodypart it hits will get in the area of 10cm² cramps, If it hits the head the person will get migraine
  • "body part"
  • Add period at end.
  • Again, aura may protect against the effects.
Quote
History:

Kisha’s parents died when she was 16. Even though she never had so much contact with them, she knew exactly which weapons they used. So she mad a duplicate of her fathers sword and her mothers Bow and fused them. It took some tries but in the end she made her masterpiece Demanon
  • "made"
  • "father's"
  • "mother's"
  • Add period.
Quote
The transformationen: Thanks to the modules the blade can reduce his length. A string will shoot out at the bottom of the handle and attaches itself to the tip of the blade. The Handle will, thanks to another module, extend and bend itself to the shape of an bow. To transform the weapon back, the string will tear due to pressure and the rest of the bow will transform back. The weapon stores 20 strings and Kisha reloads them after every fight.
  • "transformation"
Quote
Weapon Name: Gas grenade

Description: Kisha has six gas grenade on her belt. The gas creates a slight fog and is explosive if it comes in touch with fire
  • Add period.
« Last Edit: October 18, 2017, 04:08:04 PM by Kaliot »
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Spoiler: Characters • show

Sophea Devi Visorith - Beacon Nurse, Gardener, Health Nut, Scholar
Mao Visorith - First-Year Beacon Student, Team SFF[M]
Aurelia Caelius - Beacon Graduate, Huntress, Team [A]URM
Izumi Cremisi - Member of Obsidian Rose, Assassin, Thief, Arcade Enthusiast
Airi Fogden Bicardi - Second-Year Atlas Student, Family Heiress
Avery LeBlanc - Third-Year Atlas Student, Triplet, Duelist, Manipulator, Team SA[L]T | Threads [Team: ]
Yu Mei - First-Year Haven Student
Suna Arevik - First-Year Shade Student, Scavenger-in-Training, Team S[S]MR
Mara Lev - Mercenary, de facto Leader of Siren

Spoiler: Worldbuilding • show

Mahava Plains - The bastion of Eastern Sanus
Obsidian Rose - Valish Criminal Organization

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Re: Kisha Miles
« Reply #7 on: October 19, 2017, 09:54:22 AM »
First off, thanks for the correction. I'm still learning the english language and I'm glad that somebody looked over it and told me the mistakes

Well, I correctet the spelling ( To write every single word I correctet in here wouldn't be necessary, right?)

And with the portals, they doesn't have a that long reach. Only as far as as 30-40 meters, so you can´t just move from beacon to forever fall with only using the portals once
The hyperactive weirdo Kisha Miles  - Team BSEK
Dragon tamer Mikado Drak - Team BSSM
Lone wolf Nami - Teamless

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Re: Kisha Miles
« Reply #8 on: October 19, 2017, 10:13:33 AM »
Glad I could help!

Approved.
Ask Me Anything!

Spoiler: Characters • show

Sophea Devi Visorith - Beacon Nurse, Gardener, Health Nut, Scholar
Mao Visorith - First-Year Beacon Student, Team SFF[M]
Aurelia Caelius - Beacon Graduate, Huntress, Team [A]URM
Izumi Cremisi - Member of Obsidian Rose, Assassin, Thief, Arcade Enthusiast
Airi Fogden Bicardi - Second-Year Atlas Student, Family Heiress
Avery LeBlanc - Third-Year Atlas Student, Triplet, Duelist, Manipulator, Team SA[L]T | Threads [Team: ]
Yu Mei - First-Year Haven Student
Suna Arevik - First-Year Shade Student, Scavenger-in-Training, Team S[S]MR
Mara Lev - Mercenary, de facto Leader of Siren

Spoiler: Worldbuilding • show

Mahava Plains - The bastion of Eastern Sanus
Obsidian Rose - Valish Criminal Organization

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Re: Kisha Miles
« Reply #9 on: April 12, 2018, 03:58:46 PM »
Spoiler: Pre-edits • show
CHARACTER

Name: Kisha Miles

Nickname: Schoko (Means chocolate in german)

Age: 17

Species and Gender: Human, Female

Symbol:



Occupation: First year beacon student

Theme: LINK

Appearance:

 
Spoiler: show
 


With an height of 1,65cm and a weight of 62kg, Kisha is in the average of an normal girl of her age. She has a pale skin color, brown eyes and a mix of different shades of brown colored, short hair. She has a round face, with a small nose and slightly big eyes.

Her everyday clothes includes a brown short armed hoodie, which has her nickname ‚Schoko, written on a name tag on her left side. This name is also stitched on her Hood along with ears, eyes and a mouth of a cartoon-guinea pig. She is wearing gray shorts, which has her symbol on the right side.

In combat, she has a dark brown, large quiver for arrows on her bag and also a dark brown belt for her weapons first form.

Spoiler: show
 



History:

Kisha was born in a small village in the west of vale. She spend a lot of time with her grandparents (maternal) because her parents were often at work. They were huntsmen and huntress, but not just any. Kouta and Sy Miles were highly respected huntsmen and were always asked to do the most dangerous missions. They meet at beacon academy, got married and had a child, her. Her grandparents owned a chocolate shop, where she spend most of her time, helping to work. That's where she got her nickname, Schoko. One of her friends started calling her like this, after saying she read in a book that schoko means chocolate in another language.

Even though Kisha didn't spend much time with her parents, she always looked up to them and she made her goal, to become a huntress just like them. She started practicing with a wooden sword when she was 9 and as a present for her 12 birthday her mother gave her a bow. She made herself an own schedule when to practice with what. At the age of 13 she entered a combat school, even though she was good with her weapon already.
When she was 14 a message arrived at the chocolate shop. Both of her parents died on the mission they were participate in, together with 3 other huntsmen.
Although she was sad and depressed by her parents decease, she kept on training and looked forward. She knew her parents didn't want her to be sad for the rest of her life, even though remembering them will lead her to stop being that hyperactive for a while.

She took courses to learn how to make and modify weapons and with the age of 16 she made her masterpiece Demanon. Right after that she sign in for the exam to be accepted to beacon academy.

A week after the entering exam Kisha received a letter. An acceptance to beacon academy.

Personality:

Kisha is a kind and helpful woman. She acts a bit hyperactive and never knows when to shut up, what can lead to her friends telling her that she's annoying, which she always takes really serious. She was never good with criticism. Kisha always tries to see the positive side of things and is always up for a joke. Even if she doesn't like someone, she will go up to this person and help them, if they really need it. For her, friendship is one of the most important things in the world, and she would do everything to protect her friends, what leads to her loyalty. If you have her trust once, what isn’t hard to earn, you have it forever, or until you betray her. She than completely breaks down and falls into a short but bad depression.

Even though she has a happy and silly nature she can be serious. If a fight takes a bad turn for her, her happiness shuts completely down and she tries everything to win. You can see similar reaction if somebody jokey about death or bullies people. She will probably forgive them in the end anyway, but until than you really shouldn't mess with her.

She isn't such a good student. Kisha often don't pay attention and is completely lost in thoughts while class. She also doesn't try hard with her studies. Her Motto is 'I trust my bad luck' and most of the time, she passes with a 2-3 (B-C)

Aura and Semblance:

Aura Color: Ember colored

Kisha’s semblance are portals.

It's rare, but sometimes a semblance can be inherited through the family. That's what happened to Kisha. She inherited the portals from her father.

She Forms a circle with both hands creating a portal on each side. She then can throw them like a frisbee wherever she wants to and the portal will stay there, even if this place is midst in the air. The portals have an reach for about 30-40 meters. Kisha can only create two portals at once. If she tries to create a third one, the first one will disappear. Everything and everyone can go through the portals but everyone besides Kisha will get balance problems, through not being used to it. Kisha also can decide the size of the portals, and how long they stay open. They don't have a timelimit and leaving them open for a long time doesn't effect Kisha's endurance, as long she is conscious. The bigger the portals are, the more exhausted she get. The biggest portal she can create is only big enough to fit three Humans at once. It may happen that the portals close while something or someone is still in there. If this Person or thing is more that 50% through the portal, it will being blast out of it, due to pressure. If the person is less than 50% in the portal it will be thrown back through the other portal.
She will also be exhausted if she creates to many portals after another. After making ten portals she needs a break, if she doesn't take one, she will collapse.

(A vid to the portals uhm... pls ignore the other stuff..)

Combat Behavior:

Kisha never fought together with other people in her past, which makes her more effective in a 1 vs 1 fight. She prefers to fight defensive rather than offensive which leads to her using her weapon in it's bow form befor turning it to her sword. One exceptions would be, if she don't have any cover from where to shoot. In a open field she will mostly likely uses her weapon in the sword form first.

Even though she never fought in a group she will be cooperative and will listen to her leader, but if she sees a better option for a plan herself, she will simply act on her own. Kisha is fast and maneuverable, which is important. She doesn't wear any armor and if she gets hit, the hit WILL leave a mark. Using her semblance in fights isn't rare either.

Even though she likes it more to keep her semblance a secret from the enemy (If it's a human. she doesn't care if it's a grimm) The portals help her keeping her distance or to block attacks. They can also work as an escape route for her and her teammates (Although the side-effect will give them balance problems)
She is good in improvise plans and she is a good strategist, still, she wouldn't be good as a leader, because she hate's to give people orders.


WEAPON

Name: Demanon

Primary Form:

Spoiler: show
 


Demanon is in his primary Form a sword, a german "Zweihänder" to be exactly. It is wielded with both hands, is 130cm Long (80cm the Blade) and is 3cm wide. It weighs 2 kg and the handle is made of light metal. Because of the length, it has a module where you can insert most of the blade, so that it can fit in a belt. Thanks to the module(s) It can also turn in his secondary Form. In the primary Form Demanon can not use dust

Secondary Form:

Spoiler: show
 


Demanon can transform into a bow. It doesn't have any specialties. It’s a normal, long reach weapon. The only thing noteworthy are the arrows, which are modified with dust. Her quiver has four container, for every type of dust one, and one for normal arrows. One container has enough space for five arrows.
Those containers are there, that the arrows won’t set each other off, which would cause an huge explosion.

Dusk Functions:

Ice arrows: When the Arrow hits the ground it can freeze an 0,5x0,5 area. If the arrow hits a Person, it will freeze the body part it hit, though the ice isn’t thick.

Fire arrows: The Arrow will make a small fire, Wherever it hits. It burns longer on material like wood or wool, than metal or stone, just like normal fire. It can’t be used in water or if it’s rainy.

Lightning arrows: As soon the arrow hits his target, the body part it hits will get in the area of 10cm² cramps, If it hits the head the person will get migraine.

The Dust only activates when the arrow hits the target

History:

Kisha’s parents died when she was 16. Even though she never had so much contact with them, she knew exactly which weapons they used. So she made a duplicate of her father's sword and her mother's Bow and fused them. It took some tries but in the end she made her masterpiece Demanon.

The transformation: Thanks to the modules the blade can reduce his length. A string will shoot out at the bottom of the handle and attaches itself to the tip of the blade. The Handle will, thanks to another module, extend and bend itself to the shape of an bow. To transform the weapon back, the string will tear due to pressure and the rest of the bow will transform back. The weapon stores 20 strings and Kisha reloads them after every fight.

Weapon Name: Gas grenade

Description: Kisha has six gas grenade on her belt. The gas creates a slight fog and is explosive if it comes in touch with fire.

Spoiler: show
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Re: Kisha Miles
« Reply #10 on: April 18, 2018, 12:27:47 PM »
Okay, I'm done with the changes

I didn't change much info actually, but I rewrote it and made sure it was easier to understand.

To the things that I changed:

-Removede two of the pictures in the appearance
-Chnaged the Name of her weapon
-Also added another form to her weapon (Actualls, I just made the retracted blade of the sword a dagger)
- (also part of the weapon section)
Quote
Other: Kisha has three hydrogen- and three smoke grenades attached to her pelt. The hydrogen grenades are mostly used together with the fire arrows to cause an explosion.
The hyperactive weirdo Kisha Miles  - Team BSEK
Dragon tamer Mikado Drak - Team BSSM
Lone wolf Nami - Teamless

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Re: Kisha Miles
« Reply #11 on: April 18, 2018, 07:26:52 PM »
Grenade have an inbuilt explosive system to trigger their charge in the first place so they hydrogen grenades will go off on their own.

Regardless re-approved.
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

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Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

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