Author Topic: Nami  (Read 464 times)

DEXES

  • Full Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 200
  • Karma:
    +4/-3
  • Personal Text
    That weirdo from germany
    • View Profile
Nami
« on: March 04, 2018, 04:34:40 AM »
CHARACTER

Name: Nami

Age: 17 

Species and Gender: Human Wolf hybrid, Male

Symbol: A wolfhead in tribal style

Occupation: First Year Beacon Student

Appearance:

Nami stands at 178 cm and weighs 69 kg, with a muscular build. He has crimson colored eyes with a horizontal, small scar over his left one. He has light, almsot white skin and long, white hair which reaches down his neck.
Whenever it isn't required to wear the school uniform, Nami wars a black jacket over a  dark red, torn sweatshirt. Matching the Jacket, he wears black jeans and black boots.
Unlike faunus, which only have one trait of there animal counterpart, Nami has both, wolf ears and a wolf tail.  A golden ring is pierced through the tip of his left wolf ear.

History:

Nami was literally born in an science lab. The reasons of the people, running the lab, are mostly unknown.  There were a lot of theorys after the discovery and shut down of their operation, one of them was to study the difference between Human and Faunus, another one was to satisfied their sick inquisitiveness on what would happen when.
This 'when' referred to 'What would happen if you try to creat a faunus'.  Their way to go about it was questioning and entirely sickening. They implanted Faunus cells into an embryo hoping that that would have any effect on the outcome. And it did. There were a lot of busts but they managed to fullfill their goal. Twice. Nami wasn't the first one to survive birth under those circumstances. There was another one, a fox hybrid, but this one was less stable, often collapsed and was out for several days befor regaining conscious. Nami also had to live with the side effects. His wolf parts weren't as effectiv and useful as the ones of an actually Faunus for example. The other side effects concluded: Extrem dizziness, nausea, followed by actually vomit, insomnia, anorexia and an overall really bad immune system.
When Nami was 12 he developed his semblance. A wolf form. From this point on, Nami had to go through a lot of test, all including him fighting in his wolf form.
Three years late, when he was 15, the fox girl, which he became good friends with, was executed for her idleness over the experiments. At this point, something snapped inside of Nami. He refrused to continue going through all of the experiments and tests, he refused to stay in the lab for another day. He planned his breakout. The same day, when he was supposed to go to another fighting test, he went one a rampage as soons as he was let out of his room. He would have died that day if it weren't for a group of Huntmen, which were assigned to investigate the unknown laboratory the day he planned his breakout.
After being rescued, Nami stayed with one of the Huntsmen, trying to get over the trauma and live a normal life. But that wasn't easy, not at all. The side effects were still there, and even after he got prescribed tablets, which he has to take in daily, the side effects didn't vanish, they just got reduced. Besides that, Nami had to learn everything he hadn't a chance to as a kid, like reading and writing. He wasn't good at it, but he kept on trying. His motivation for him to become a huntsmen himself were one, to repay the Huntsmen taking him in and second, because he felt that he owned that to the fox girl.
Getting into beacon was a hard task, but in the end, he managed to get accepted

Personality:

At first glance, Nami seems to be an aloof, distant individual who always keeps his cool. Despite having a calm disposition, he can have a temper and tends to be impulsive, acting mainly on his instincts or his heart rather than his head. Despite saying that he doesn't wish to make friends, he ironically forms them through his tenacious personality. Nami is a taciturn and reserved individual, who is also shown to be very courageous, always willing to save and protect his friends from danger.

Aura and Semblance:

His Aura has the same crimson color as his eyes.
His semblance gives him the ability to turn into an oversizes white wolf. His size would match an full grown horse.
The transformation itself workes simple. Nami just thinks about turning and he turnes. Shining white lights (Like those) than start to appear on his skin and clothes and in the blick on an eye, he is in his wolf form. The same thing happens by reversing it. For his clothes, they just disappear and reappear when he turnes into his wolfform and back.
His abilities in his wolf form are similar to the abilities of a normal wolf. He has a better sense of smell and hearing than in his human form. His size also allows him to carry stuff on his back quite easily. He is as swift as an normal wolf and his fighting style is also similar to the one of a wolf.
Holding up his semblence is second nature for Nami, so he hasn’t any problems with staying in this form for long time, even in battle.

Combat Behavior:

Just like his personality says, he actes on instingt and won't think about a plan to much.
He is an offensive fighter and neglectes his defense, especially when he fights in his wolf form. The fur gives him some more protection, but it won’t help much against stronger attacks. In fights, Nami takes the roll of the one, going in first and he will firstly focus on the stronges enemy. If he gets knocked down, he won't stay there for long, and tries immediately to get into the fight again. He will always keep an eye on his teammates and/or the people around him in general, in case something were to go wrong and he had to jump in. He can be stubborn, taking a fight way to far and don't know when to quit. Another weakness would be the side effects of the Faunus cells implanted in him. The tablets help reducing the effect, but they can still randomly pop up.

WEAPON

Name: Kama

Primary Form: Kama is a pair of Steel claws with a small gun build into it.  The claws are retractable, making it easier to walk around with them on

Secondary Form: Instead of steal claws, the blade of a dagger comes out the steelcase

Tertiary Form: A thinner, longer version than the previous. It has a curved-diamond shape on its tip.

Dust functions:

• Fire Dust - The extended blade inflames
• Lightning Dust - The extended blade will be electrically charged and shockes whatever it hits

History:

Nami hasn't the slightest idea how to build or modify weapons, luckily for him, the huntsmen taking him in did. He greated Kama and taught Nami how to use it. It took a while, but it turned out well in the end.
« Last Edit: April 14, 2018, 03:24:18 PM by DEXES »
Hyperactive weirdo Kisha Miles  - Beacon First Year - Member of team ----
Dragon tamer Mikado Drak - Beacon First Year - Member of team BSSM/Blossom
Moon howler Nami - Beacon First Year - Member of team CNRS/Cinerous
Pro Gamer Dawn Mae - Beacon Second Year - Character Creation

DEXES

  • Full Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 200
  • Karma:
    +4/-3
  • Personal Text
    That weirdo from germany
    • View Profile
Re: Nami
« Reply #1 on: March 08, 2018, 08:05:35 AM »
anyone?
Hyperactive weirdo Kisha Miles  - Beacon First Year - Member of team ----
Dragon tamer Mikado Drak - Beacon First Year - Member of team BSSM/Blossom
Moon howler Nami - Beacon First Year - Member of team CNRS/Cinerous
Pro Gamer Dawn Mae - Beacon Second Year - Character Creation

Kingnoname1

  • Moderator
  • Full Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 837
  • Karma:
    +65/-1
  • Personal Text
    Here to chat, always.
    • View Profile
Re: Nami
« Reply #2 on: March 08, 2018, 07:02:19 PM »
Well there little wrong with this character I would like some explanation on why they are turning humans into faunus, there seems to be pretty wide spread discrimination and 'science' isn't a very good reason.

There is also no canon example of a semblance change although I suppose you could argue that personality shifts could result in such.

There is nothing really wrong with this profile it just opens a few problematic doors so we are going to be asking a bit more detail than usual.
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

Ramalia - RASB - First Year Shade

DEXES

  • Full Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 200
  • Karma:
    +4/-3
  • Personal Text
    That weirdo from germany
    • View Profile
Re: Nami
« Reply #3 on: March 09, 2018, 10:13:23 AM »
I would like some explanation on why they are turning humans into faunus, there seems to be pretty wide spread discrimination and 'science' isn't a very good reason.

Quote
As the white fang got more violent, the scientists which kidnapped him thought about how to make a weapon to fight against them. They couldn’t just ask faunus to fight other faunus and if somebody outside the community overheard that their planned to start some kind of war, they would have been arrested, so they created theire own weapons, something which isn’t human or faunus, something the world can see and address as a monster.



Does that work?

Oh, I also edited this:

Quote
Regarding that Nami 'only' was captive for about three years, he unlearned a lot of usual stuff, or just has more problems than others would have with them, like reading or writing.
« Last Edit: March 09, 2018, 11:12:31 AM by DEXES »
Hyperactive weirdo Kisha Miles  - Beacon First Year - Member of team ----
Dragon tamer Mikado Drak - Beacon First Year - Member of team BSSM/Blossom
Moon howler Nami - Beacon First Year - Member of team CNRS/Cinerous
Pro Gamer Dawn Mae - Beacon Second Year - Character Creation

Kingnoname1

  • Moderator
  • Full Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 837
  • Karma:
    +65/-1
  • Personal Text
    Here to chat, always.
    • View Profile
Re: Nami
« Reply #4 on: March 10, 2018, 12:14:21 AM »
Why would people put so much effort in dealing with the White Fang? Hunters already exist and many hunters are Faunus, even if there wasn't is the WF really such a threat that a bunch of scientists decide: Evil Scientist 1 'you know how we deal with this problem? Evil Scientist 2 'We'll steal children.' Evil Scientist 1 'But won't they be useless for a decade?' Evil Scientist 2 'Yea but do you want be efficent or do you want to be evil?' Evil Scientist 1 'Evil obviously'
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

Ramalia - RASB - First Year Shade

DEXES

  • Full Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 200
  • Karma:
    +4/-3
  • Personal Text
    That weirdo from germany
    • View Profile
Re: Nami
« Reply #5 on: March 10, 2018, 03:17:53 AM »
Okay, I removed the white fang and generalize it a bit

Quote
The reason why the scientists kidnapped them is easy. War. They thought they could make a weapon to conquer all kingdoms, starting with vale. The 'first and only' wave of kidnapping was a test run for their experiments, they needed to see how well it worked and how strong the test subjects were.
Hyperactive weirdo Kisha Miles  - Beacon First Year - Member of team ----
Dragon tamer Mikado Drak - Beacon First Year - Member of team BSSM/Blossom
Moon howler Nami - Beacon First Year - Member of team CNRS/Cinerous
Pro Gamer Dawn Mae - Beacon Second Year - Character Creation

Kingnoname1

  • Moderator
  • Full Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 837
  • Karma:
    +65/-1
  • Personal Text
    Here to chat, always.
    • View Profile
Re: Nami
« Reply #6 on: March 10, 2018, 03:45:32 AM »
I feel you are going to get put through the ring by another mod but if you are OK with that it's functional.

+1.
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

Ramalia - RASB - First Year Shade

jjb2158

  • Moderator
  • Full Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 417
  • Karma:
    +27/-0
  • Personal Text
    The Destroyer of Dreams & Expectations
    • View Profile
Re: Nami
« Reply #7 on: March 28, 2018, 11:07:39 AM »
Okay...seeing that you messaged me to have a review done on this, I will go ahead and take on this task. Please note: this character was under review by a few staff as there is some issues that need to be addressed. Also, since this is now your 4th character, I will be a bit more critical with my review as you should be well acquainted with making characters here. That all said, here we go:

History:
Let me just bring up the largest problem we have with this profile: this would be the fact that Nami was a human that got genetically mutated into being a faunus. As it stands right now, I can't approve that as that is science that is over and beyond what we've seen in the RWBY canon right now. The only technological advancement we've seen thus far was the creation of Penny, which even that was the most that Atlas, the largest technological nation, could achieve. And so, to say that some random scientist was able to create hybrid faunus/human people as well as genetically change their semblance is too much.

Is it possible to have this work? Yes, as almost anything is possible if you really try. However, as it stands right now, it just doesn't work and so I will have to deny it unless you can rework it. Even as I'm typing this, I can't quite think of a good way to have this work with the character.

Overall
There are a lot of grammatical errors throughout the entire character. Normally, we don't make too much of an issue as we get many people who don't speak English as their primary language. However, since this is your 4th character, I would encourage you to review your character sheet and use spell-check to look through it and make corrections.

I'm going to leave my review at that as the main issue affects a vast amount of the profile as it is. Please feel free to PM me or bring this up in Character Creation questions on Discord if you have any questions.
First Year Beacon Student: Rackley Winchester - The Hawkeye Sniper of Team CRSA (Crystal)

Second Year Beacon Student: Jett Davenport - The Playful Shadow Knight of Team MLDC (Melodic)

Third Year Beacon Student: Suntalia Lyn Ryker - The Voice of Thunder of Team PLSM (Plasma)

Fourth Year Beacon Student: Savas Carnelian - The Quiet Berserker Leader of Team SARK (Stark)

Beacon Professor: Oberon Falcov - The Man With A Plan / Team Strategy Teacher of Beacon

DEXES

  • Full Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 200
  • Karma:
    +4/-3
  • Personal Text
    That weirdo from germany
    • View Profile
Re: Nami
« Reply #8 on: April 12, 2018, 03:19:08 PM »
So, we already talked about this per pm, and I'm done with all the changes.
I ccompletely rewrote the history, stating that his traits aren't as good as the ones of a faunus and I also gave him a hand full of side effects from the cells implanted in him.
For the rest, I didn't change much with his personality, appearance ect. but I tried to get as many grammatical mistakes out as I could.
« Last Edit: April 12, 2018, 03:24:06 PM by DEXES »
Hyperactive weirdo Kisha Miles  - Beacon First Year - Member of team ----
Dragon tamer Mikado Drak - Beacon First Year - Member of team BSSM/Blossom
Moon howler Nami - Beacon First Year - Member of team CNRS/Cinerous
Pro Gamer Dawn Mae - Beacon Second Year - Character Creation

jjb2158

  • Moderator
  • Full Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 417
  • Karma:
    +27/-0
  • Personal Text
    The Destroyer of Dreams & Expectations
    • View Profile
Re: Nami
« Reply #9 on: April 17, 2018, 02:01:02 PM »
Sorry for the delay here. There was still a lot of hesitancy among the other staff about letting a science project person be allowed, but nothing enough for it to downright be denied.

That all said, this suffices for me to allow so I will give this the second approval.

Approved 2 of 2.
First Year Beacon Student: Rackley Winchester - The Hawkeye Sniper of Team CRSA (Crystal)

Second Year Beacon Student: Jett Davenport - The Playful Shadow Knight of Team MLDC (Melodic)

Third Year Beacon Student: Suntalia Lyn Ryker - The Voice of Thunder of Team PLSM (Plasma)

Fourth Year Beacon Student: Savas Carnelian - The Quiet Berserker Leader of Team SARK (Stark)

Beacon Professor: Oberon Falcov - The Man With A Plan / Team Strategy Teacher of Beacon

 

Powered by EzPortal