Author Topic: Celeste Izusa  (Read 442 times)

Kayla220

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Celeste Izusa
« on: February 28, 2018, 11:12:59 PM »
This is my first character so any advice would be great  :)
CHARACTER

Name:
Celeste Malaika Izusa
Age:
19, Hua 14th
Species and Gender:
Faunus, dove, female
Symbol: 
A pair of angel wings extending from a circle
Occupation:
1st year student at Beacon
Appearance:
The first thing you notice about Celeste is her wings. She has a pair of dove wings that extend from her back. They are white and get flecks of black as they get farther from her back. She is 5í4Ē and weighs 133lbs. Celeste has dark brown hair that falls down past her shoulders. She has a streak of white in the back. She almost always wears it down. She has a pale complexion and a few freckles on her cheeks.
She wears a white tank top most of the time with a pair of jeans. She wears this whenever she doesnít have to be in her school uniform or is on a combat mission. She often has her brown leather jacket on. Her belt is white and on the buckle is her symbol. She normally wears leather ankle boots that match her jacket. On her neck she wears a necklace with an ammonite hanging on it. She got the necklace from her little sister when she left for Beacon. Her earrings are a pair of pearls.
When she wants to dress to impress, Celeste wears a long dark blue dress that hugs her figure and flairs out at the bottom. She wears her hair in a braid that comes down over her left shoulder. She wears a pair of heels.
In combat, Celeste wears a pair of black combat boots. She wears a pair of padded pants with metal greaves. Above those she wears a loose, black, long sleeve shirt and a light, leather jacket with steel studs. Her weapon is strapped to her right leg. She keeps her combat knife on her hips.
History:
Celeste was born into a wealthy family in Mistral. Her mother runs one of the largest technology companies in Mistral that makes everything from phones, to computers, to TVís and video games. The company, Archon Technology, is mostly just in Mistral but has a few stores outside the kingdom. Her mom was almost never home when she was growing up due to her work and Celeste was mostly raised by her father. He is a childrenís book writer. He worked from home and loved doing everything with his kids. Growing up she was always going to the best schools that money could buy and was being trained to help work in her familyís company. She was expected to grow up to be like her older brother, who by the time he graduated college was hired as an overseas manager. He helped her dad raise and she always looked up to her brother. As she grew up she was sheltered from most of the world and the racism against faunus. At school, no one would bully her because of her familyís influence. When she was fourteen she learned how people really are. She was coming back home after hanging out with some of her friends shopping when an anti faunus riot broke out. As the riot turned violent she was caught by them. The mod decided that a rich faunus would be the perfect was to make their point and as they caught her they prepared to cut off her wings. Before they could do that, a huntsman jumped in and drove the mob off, saving Celeste. Her eyes open to the world around her, Celeste decided that she no longer could just go forward living in luxury and working for her motherís company. She begged and pleaded to be allowed to transfer to the local primary combat school. She transferred over at age fifteen and trained there until she graduated and decided to go to Beacon. She chose to leave her kingdom because she wanted to learn more about her world.
Personality:
Celeste is a calm and composed individual. She is incredibly social and loves hanging out with her friends and shopping. During her free time, she also likes to cook. Her dad taught her how and she is very good at cooking. She loves shopping and is often at the mall. If she isn't there she will probably be playing games with friends. She isnít a great studier and although her schooling was the best money can get she is just about average in terms of grades. She really hates anyone who openly hates on faunus and will argue or ignore them and avoid them after. She dislikes the White Fang but understands them and won't help or fight them. She has a great relationship with her dad because he raised her. She views her brother as a bit of a workaholic but she respects him and tries to keep in touch. Her mom is a bit distant due to work.
Aura and Semblance:
Her aura was unlocked while at Sanctum. There she discovered her semblance. Her semblance is the ability to bend air. She can use this to blast wind at her opponent or to help her get into the air and keep herself airborne with her wings by gliding and pushing more air into them if she begins to drift too low. She mostly just uses it to help herself fly because she isnít very skilled using it as a weapon. She will also use her semblance when not in combat to blow her hair around some and ruffle her feathers. She can use it to fly for about an hour before being totally exhausted. If she really tries her gusts can push an enemy back about 20 feet. She can use a strong gust of air to push and enemy or to move quickly ten times before she is exhausted.
Combat Behavior: 
Celeste tries to fight from the air as much as possible. She flies above the enemy and stabs at them with her spear. If the enemy can easily reach her while she attacks this way she will fly higher and shoot arrows down at them. She is not very good at using her semblance in an offensive manner, so she wonít use it often to attack. Although she is skilled with her weapon, her tactics are pretty easy to read and she isnít very good at adapting. She is also not very skilled when on the ground because she has mostly trained while fighting in the air and lacks a good close quarters weapon. If the enemy gets past her spear she is vulnerable.
WEAPON

Name:
Izulu
Primary Form:
Celeste wields a golden, two handed, long spear. This weapon is six feet long. The blade of the weapon is a spear head and behind that there are two curved blades that curve down from the head down a foot. She stores it by telescoping the weapon down into a foot-long cylinder. She straps this to her leg.
Secondary Form:
When Celeste needs range her weapon transforms from a spear to a bow. The shaft of the spear bends into a large bow shape and as it bends a bowstring comes out of the shaft. The arrows are thin and attached to the shaft of the weapon. She stores twenty arrows on her spear at a time and will take more with her on longer missions. 
Tertiary Form:
A foot long golden cylinder
Dust Functions:
None
History:
She designed this weapon with help from her teachers at school. She made it this way because the huntsman who saved her life used a large spear and she wanted to emulate that.
« Last Edit: March 01, 2018, 05:24:46 PM by Kayla220 »

Kingnoname1

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Re: Celeste Izusa
« Reply #1 on: March 01, 2018, 12:01:04 AM »
Welcome to the site, see you've found the discord. Thats probably the best place for quick feedback.

Anyway on to the review. You've seemed to have left 'sample text' in all sections. I'd also like some limitations on the semblance, how long can she use it and roghly how strong are the gusts. I'd also personally like a few more details in the personality, likes? Dislikes? Opinon on White Fang? Does she organise rallies? Whats her relationship with her family? But other than that its really good.
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

Ramalia - RASB - First Year Shade

Kayla220

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Re: Celeste Izusa
« Reply #2 on: March 01, 2018, 12:20:18 AM »
added to semblance and personality

Kingnoname1

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Re: Celeste Izusa
« Reply #3 on: March 02, 2018, 08:27:36 PM »
So still have the indent before each section but if thats stylistic thats fine.

+1. Good job.
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

Ramalia - RASB - First Year Shade

FunkyMonkey

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Re: Celeste Izusa
« Reply #4 on: March 04, 2018, 12:21:14 PM »
Approved