Author Topic: Chroma Chi  (Read 3603 times)

ArosFarron

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Chroma Chi
« on: January 07, 2017, 10:53:05 PM »
CHARACTER
Name: Chroma Chi
Age: 20
Species and Gender: Human Female
Symbol:
Occupation: 4th Year Transfer Student
Appearance: Standing at a decent 6'2, Chroma is a slender beauty with dark blue hair, usually tied in a ponytail. Her light blue eyes and average complexion rounding out her features. As often with her family, she wears a royal blue outfit that has more of an Asian inspiration then most from Atlas. This outfit is excutated with small rainbow colored crystals on the end of her overcoat. Her parital gloves help keep her grip on her weapons but also help keep eyes on her whole body rather then just one part. While her skirt looks short, it's actually a decent length, her long platform heels cause the eye to think its longer then it actually is. Her hair is usual kept up in the ponytail with an ornate bronze hairpiece.
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History: Growing up in the upper class of Atlas had it's benefits, as Chroma had everything she wanted. However, she would not let her status go to her head. In her early years, she was fascinated with the old tales of heroes and their codes of honor. This led to her developing a code of honor while she was in combat school. Her parents were supportive. After years of training, she attended Atlas for a year before asking for a transfer to Beacon due to differences in ideals with most other students. Even though she was advised against it by the headmaster, she still stuck to her guts and applied. Once her transfer was approved, she left her parents in Atlas to head to Vale. After, she began to take up training and working on her code. As her studies reach an end, she plans to take her code of honor out to other Hunters and try to help build a better and safer world for Humans and Faunus.
Personality: Chroma has a caring nature to all, however, she does not take any form of disrespect to anyone. During combat this leads her to fight noble against human opponents.
Aura and Semblance: Her aura color is a deep sea blue. Her semblance allows to to absorb the energy from Dust Crystals. By doing this, she is able to imbue her weapons or herself with the selected element. If she imbues her weapons, the energy lasts for 6 minutes or 7 shots from a ranged weapon and up to 5 minutes for melee weapons, while imbuing herself she can have the energy last for 3 minutes and she is able to use them as a defensive effect. If she imbues a weapon, she can hand off the weapon to an ally for the effect to last half of the time. Ammo for ranged weapons when imbued, while not as easy to use as dust based ammo, allows the weapon to use ammo from various sources. Some of the defensive effects allow her to create small aura like barriers that apply the effect of the dust for a couple attacks or 5 minutes, which ever comes first.
Combat Behavior: Chroma tends to stay in the middle of combat but backing out if the time is right to fire off shots at enemies, allowing her allies to do more fighting up close.
WEAPON
Name: Shika
Primary Form: An ornate gold bow with several different colored crystals along the sides. She holds around 20-25 arrows within a quiver along her side. She has two half quivers hidden in her sleeves that release an arrow when she moves her wrists in a specific way. The arrows look like arrows of light that cackle with electricity. The color of the arrow changes based on the type of dust imbued in it.
History: A family weapon that had been pasted down from generation to generation since before the color war.

Name: Kami
Primary Form: An elegant and ornate whip sword. From the crossguard down to the pummel is all gold and red gold vines with the cross guard having an ornate rose. The sword can extend to a whip length if given enough distance.
History: A much more recent weapon created for the Chi family by the Yoru family via a weapon request.

« Last Edit: December 05, 2017, 09:19:06 AM by ArosFarron »
Merletta Yoru: The Shadow Hunter
Liliana Blossom: The Maven of Song (Team REBL)
Lady Blair Valka of Felwinter "The Lady of the North
Alexander Noire

Viventium Umbra

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Re: Ignis
« Reply #1 on: January 14, 2017, 10:20:36 PM »
First off, it'd be nice if you added some spaces between sections. It just makes things easier to read, though it isn't necessary.

Appearance:
Quite simply, it needs more detail. I want to be able to picture this guy in my head clearly.

History:
-   Like the appearance section, you should have more detail. Expand on this and give a more detailed look at his past.
-   I'd particularly like to see more clarity regarding the former cop who funded his schooling at Signal and Beacon. This seems like a really important thing to be vague about, so explain why the cop would fund Ignis at all and what kind of relationship they had. Remember, this stuff defines your character and effects who they will become.

Personality:
-   Sounds pretty textbook edgy, and we have a lot of those kinds of characters, but I won't require you to change it.
-   More detail needed here too, people aren't this one-dimensional.

Aura and Semblance:
-   The "chemicals in the air" that feed fire include and are limited to: Oxygen gas. That's really it, oxygen and something flammable is all you need to sustain a fire. No need for any chemical manipulation here, so you'll want to rethink how exactly the semblance works.
-   I want more detail on the extent to which he can control this fire with regards to distance and power. Does the fire spread? Can he control any fire or only the fire he makes? Can he be burned by his own fire? Just add more detail on how it works.

Combat Behavior:
-   From what I've seen, fighting in alleyways doesn't give people unconventional fighting styles, and if it does, it would only be a disadvantage in most other places that are more open.
-   If you want him to fight in an unorthodox way, describe it, don't just say he does.
-   I would suggest just changing the semblance so that it starts the fire, then you could get rid of what I assume are sparkers to start a fire.

Weapons:
Who gives an expensive transforming weapon to a known criminal (or at least a "bad egg" kind of kid)? I would suggest just having him make it at signal.
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Azrail Duivel Kind (Deceased) 3rd year lightning reaper -  teamless
Reaper's Spear I summon thee
To smite my foes and enemies.
Lightning's wrath in darkness grasped
Delivers swift eternity.

-Azrail Duivel Kind
Drevin Srebra 1st year speed demon - #347C2C - teamless

Brond Osilgrin - #B22222 - fully fledged hunter/walking bonfire

Rix "Deadshot" Maradis (currently unapproved) 1st year coder/sniper - #157DEC & Tess #79BAEC - teamless

Project t17: restrained - glow #D41A1F color #121212 - the chupacabra of Vale

Zitham Degas - #E31230 - "At the end of the day, as long as there are two people left on the planet, someone is gonna want someone dead."


AMCA (ask my characters anything)

AMA (ask me anything)

My Weird Pseudo-Plot

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jjb2158

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Re: Ignis
« Reply #2 on: January 30, 2017, 10:59:36 AM »
Moved to MIA.
First Year Beacon Student: Rackley Winchester - The Hawkeye Sniper currently Teamless

Second Year Beacon Student: Jett Davenport - The Playful Shadow Knight of Team MLDC (Melodic)

Third Year Beacon Student: Suntalia Lyn Ryker - The Voice of Thunder currently Teamless

Fourth Year Beacon Student: Savas Carnelian - The Quiet Berserker Leader of Team SARK (Stark)

Beacon Professor: Oberon Falcov - The Man With A Plan / Team Strategy Teacher of Beacon

Skylia

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Re: Ignis
« Reply #3 on: August 20, 2017, 11:36:54 AM »
Moved out of MIA on 8/20/2017.
Lucina Archaletta - The Haughty Hipster - 1st Year Beacon Student on Team ALIA

Vanilla Stella-Maris - The Indomitable Idol - Special Operations Combat Idol  - WiP

Primrose Palatine - The Dexterous Duelist - Atlesian Professor of Combat Flow - WiP

ArosFarron

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Re: Chroma Chi
« Reply #4 on: November 23, 2017, 07:26:20 AM »
Ready for review
Merletta Yoru: The Shadow Hunter
Liliana Blossom: The Maven of Song (Team REBL)
Lady Blair Valka of Felwinter "The Lady of the North
Alexander Noire

EdgeyReyes

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Re: Chroma Chi
« Reply #5 on: November 23, 2017, 08:30:27 AM »
A 4th-year transfer student... at age 17. I assume this to be an error because I doubt anywhere would let a 14-year-old join Beacon let alone Atlas (Ignore Ruby, the main character and all).

In general, there could be more description, a picture is nice but being able to describe it with words. Also stuff like ammo for the bow and how many arrows, etc.
Atlas: ShowHide


Solaris Star - Atlesian Special Forces

Aegis Guard - First Year Atlas Student

Iris Ares - Fourth Year Atlas Student


Vale: ShowHide

Akeldama Blood-Heart - First Year Beacon Student

Linh Li "Mythos Laurenstine - Second year Beacon Student


ArosFarron

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Re: Chroma Chi
« Reply #6 on: December 03, 2017, 09:23:46 AM »
i fixed stuff
Merletta Yoru: The Shadow Hunter
Liliana Blossom: The Maven of Song (Team REBL)
Lady Blair Valka of Felwinter "The Lady of the North
Alexander Noire

Kingnoname1

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Re: Chroma Chi
« Reply #7 on: December 04, 2017, 01:29:49 PM »
Jesus that girl has legs for days.

You've got a good skeleton here but for now that is all it is. You are missing a lot of 'whys' like; why does she apply for a transfer, if she has been at atlas for a year that means she has a team why abandon them? Why do her parents follow her to Vale, they have soocial lives right? Why does the Yoru family give her a weapon and what even is their relationship? Etc etc

Semblance is cool but im not sure wat is the difference between just using dust arrows and you should add some examples of what the defensive affects are.

Man everyone has whips these days not bad just an observation. The cloaking device is probably a bit too much maybe have it disguised instead. Or if you want to keep the design maybe she has a few half quivers on her forearms or thighs under the clothes.
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

Ramalia - RASB - First Year Shade