Author Topic: Solaris Star  (Read 1602 times)

Kingnoname1

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Re: Solaris Star
« Reply #15 on: December 13, 2017, 05:06:31 PM »
Adding two inches REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I think most of this is fine considering how high tier a character like Solaris is. I don't think she should be able to create objects out of fire, even unstable ones although creating explosions through combustion would still be allowed. I would also recommend reading this profile aloud or use a text to speech device and listen to is, a lot of the wording is odd. The two-three weakness thing still applies however but other than that it's all good to go.
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

Ramalia - Teamless :( - First Year Shade

EdgeyReyes

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Re: Solaris Star
« Reply #16 on: December 22, 2017, 05:35:19 AM »
Edited the semblance and combat behavior now has weaknesses at the end. Didn't do the paragraphing stuff but if it is still desired I'll go through it.
Spoiler: Atlas • show


Solaris Star - Atlesian Special Forces

Aegis Guard - First Year Atlas Student

Iris Ares - Fourth Year Atlas Student


Spoiler: Vale • show

Akeldama Blood-Heart - First Year Beacon Student

Linh Li "Mythos Laurenstine - Second year Beacon Student


Kingnoname1

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Re: Solaris Star
« Reply #17 on: December 23, 2017, 04:35:10 AM »
I mean in the first sentance of the combat behaviour you say 'style' fours times and 'sword' three times but to each there own.

I thought I mentioned this before but we would also like you to specify that it is difficult to control fire from others weapons/semblances. Although if you cut the explosion thing it would be fine as is.
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

Ramalia - Teamless :( - First Year Shade

EdgeyReyes

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Re: Solaris Star
« Reply #18 on: January 06, 2018, 04:27:08 AM »
Fixed those pieces
Spoiler: Atlas • show


Solaris Star - Atlesian Special Forces

Aegis Guard - First Year Atlas Student

Iris Ares - Fourth Year Atlas Student


Spoiler: Vale • show

Akeldama Blood-Heart - First Year Beacon Student

Linh Li "Mythos Laurenstine - Second year Beacon Student


Kingnoname1

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Re: Solaris Star
« Reply #19 on: January 06, 2018, 04:28:56 AM »
looks good enough to me, I'll quickly put it back while everyone is asleep

edits approved
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

Ramalia - Teamless :( - First Year Shade

 

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