Author Topic: Silver Dawn  (Read 286 times)

Silver

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Silver Dawn
« on: January 27, 2018, 01:36:02 PM »
CHARACTER

Name:Silver Dawn

Age:18

Species and Gender:Faunu,male.

Occupation:Combat Academy Student,Beacon Academy Year 1

Appearance:Silver stands at 6'1'' he has purple eyes,a long white hair, a lizard like tail and horns,black coat with purple symbols and shoulder plates,sometimes he wears a dragon stile grimm mask.

History:He was created by scientist in a secret laboratory underneath the ground.His been created to be a war wepon but thear was a incident with project-GRIM and the entire facility was destroyed only Silver survived the destroction but with no memories about what happened.then he whent to Beacon academy because it is the only structure that can be seen.

Personality:His kind, faithful and funny but when upset or angry he will destroy everything. He doesn't give up without a fight and he is a excellent team mate.

Aura and Semblance:Purple aura,can shield himself and others,can regenerate,detecting grimms and other hunters and super strength.His semblance is copy sight  it allows him to copy others semblance but he must remember the filing of that semblance or he will not be able to use it and most copy it again and it consum s the users Aura faster.

Combat Behavior:His making attack strategies inside a battle and it changes them according to the opponents behavior.The backside of this strategy management is that's not really working on those how have no emotion expression.

WEAPON

Name: El Diablo

Primary Form: Claymore with a revolver reloder as cross section and it can be fired.

Emergency weapon:This is an emergency armory that is deployed by by the ruins of the Lab , the armors force is equivalent to a medium class grimm. The downfall of the armor is that it uses a high amount of aura living the pilot vulnerable for attacks when it hits 0.

Dust Functions: Multiple dust function stored in vials.

History:The weapon was created by the scientist how was in charge of Silver s creation.The sword can use dust to be stronger. The weapon can send a distress signal to make the power armor to by deployed.
« Last Edit: February 01, 2018, 01:59:57 AM by Silver »

Dr. Gustave

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Re: Silver Dawn
« Reply #1 on: January 27, 2018, 02:04:30 PM »
fuckin ten/10, aproval +1
Spoiler: Atlas • show
Mercenary: Kol Augur ~ The Judicator of Atlas
Speaking: #5C5054 Thinking: #EAC117
Spoiler: Mistral • show
Huntress-in-Training: Aca Roth ~ Member of Team RWND
Speaking: #E05260 Thinking: #EA857F
Huntress-in-Training: Brook Pallas ~ Member of Team CNBR
Speaking: #4863A0 Thinking: #98AFC7
White Fang Captain: Cornix ~ Survivor of Mistral and Captain in Vale
Speaking: #D0DAE0 Thinking: #BCC6CC
Council Member: Phaedo Katsaros ~ Figurehead for Faunus/Human relations
Speaking: #667C26 Thinking: #B6CC76
Spoiler: Vacuo • show
40th Vytal Tournament Champion: Zabar Aga ~ Member of Team DAWN
Speaking: #CD7F32 Thinking: #EE9A4D
Spoiler: Vale • show
Huntress: Malina Nahualli ~ Leader of Team MCCA
Speaking: #B3346C Thinking: #8B0C44
Beacon Professor: Titania Printemps ~ Assistant Headmistress of Beacon Academy
Speaking: #4AA02C Thinking: #E55B3C

Silver

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Re: Silver Dawn
« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2018, 10:18:01 AM »
Thank you.

jjb2158

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Re: Silver Dawn
« Reply #3 on: January 31, 2018, 05:20:56 PM »
Okay...so first off, I would like to welcome you to the Board. It's always nice seeing new people here ;D

That being said, after looking over the profile, I'm actually going to over-rule the +1 as there are a lot of things that are missing or need to be fixed here. I've half the mind to do the full review, but instead, I'm going to move this over to the WIP section and let some of the other friendly veterans on the board help you in getting your character reviewed and acceptable.

Please feel free to PM me here or join the Discord channel to talk to all of us if you have any questions.
First Year Beacon Student: Rackley Winchester - The Hawkeye Sniper of Team CRSA (Crystal)

Second Year Beacon Student: Jett Davenport - The Playful Shadow Knight of Team MLDC (Melodic)

Third Year Beacon Student: Suntalia Lyn Ryker - The Voice of Thunder of Team PLSM (Plasma)

Fourth Year Beacon Student: Savas Carnelian - The Quiet Berserker Leader of Team SARK (Stark)

Beacon Professor: Oberon Falcov - The Man With A Plan / Team Strategy Teacher of Beacon

Kingnoname1

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Re: Silver Dawn
« Reply #4 on: January 31, 2018, 06:53:37 PM »
Being the one who encouraged Gus I suppose I should be the first to say something. (Upon revision, I'm aware I have come across very harsh but honestly there was a lot to get through, along with JJ my door is always open.)

So you have very clearly not read the rules of the board nor used the format, link here http://rwby-rpg.rwbyfanon.com/index.php?topic=86.0.

I'll get the big things our of the way first. 1). Canon characters don't exist so your character can't be friends/enemies with them. 2). Aura draining or unwilling manipulation is banned, your semblance is also supposed to link in to the character's personality somewhat so try to think about that. 3). 'ERROR data corrupted' isn't acceptable for histories/backstories. If you want other players to not be able to read your backstory then put a false one in and send the real one to the mods so we can approve it. 4). The mech suit is a bit much for your first character also the design would pretty much get him kicked straight out of the school imo.

Moving forward I would strongly recommend reading through the approved character section to get a better idea of what we expect of you then we can continue from there.
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

Ramalia - Teamless :( - First Year Shade

 

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