Author Topic: Kozmo Royale  (Read 504 times)

Trick_Star

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Kozmo Royale
« on: January 17, 2018, 09:59:26 AM »
CHARACTER
Name: Kozmo Royale

Age: 18 born 12 Machlud

Species and Gender: Human Male

Symbol:  A preying owl with stars in its eyes

Occupation: Hunter in training, Beacon Year 1

Appearance: Kozmo stands at 6'2" with a large, imposing frame of mostly muscle. His long, kinky hair is worn tied back most of the time. His eyes are a dark violet behind his glasses and they always look a bit tired from lack of sleep. He has dark brown skin. His normal clothes consist of a skintight, padded, black bodysuit worn under a thick, olive-green military style jacket with his symbol on the back and dark beige cargo pants with black steel toed boots.

History: Kozmo was born in Atlas where he had a sheltered, though privilileged childhood with his mother until the age of 11, when his father saw fit to expand his horizons by taking him onto his freighter for the Schnee Dust Company. Though initially reluctant, he quickly learned to love his newfound independence. It is through his experiences on the ship that he learned the importance of hard work as well as how to fend for himself through training from his father, watching hired hunters, and through occasional pirate attacks. He also learned skills like cooking, navigation by stars, and how to smuggle effectively.

By the time he was 14, frequent trips with his father around the world fostered a love for travel and adventure, even sneaking away from his mother for days at a time when he was home to explore. On one of his excursions, he had a close call with a small Grimm, barely escaping before a wandering huntsman took it out easily. Seeing that nothing could stop him from chasing adventure, he and his parents decided that he needed real training to protect himself out in the world, and so, elected to send him to Signal, where he could learn to defend himself against Grimm, but more importantly to make some friends his own age. He took well to combat training, having a naturally high tolerance for pain, although his slower speed and large size held him back quite a bit before unlocking his semblance. Though Signal taught him combat and survival skills, socially, Kozmo found it difficult to relate to most students initially. He eventually found a crowd to eat lunch and study with, though he had no one he felt close to in school, so he spent much of his free time working on his weapon, Sailing No More.

Having finished his time at Signal, his parents offered to pay for him to tour the world with a guide, however, Kozmo rejected the offer. He realized that a calm vacation on his parentsí dime was the last thing that he wanted. Instead he chose to go to Beacon and become a hunter like those on his fatherís freighter. He would, in his mind, become a professional adventurer who would go where he wanted when he wanted.

 
Personality: Kozmo, though he may initially come off quite rough and introverted , he is a very friendly and caring person once engaged socially. He has a desperate need to be active constantly, be it combat or conversation or else he starts to get into his own head and falls into a minor depression. For Kozmo, combat is fun because he loves the thrill and because it gives him an outlet for his nervous energy. He has something of a low self-esteem, often expressed through his humor, but gets very defensive of those that he becomes close with. Kozmo takes pleasure in spending time with his friends, cooking, and training, but his favorite activity is quiet stargazing, alone with his thoughts. Kozmo, though a sympathetic and empathetic person, has a habit of turning off these feelings when he feels he or his friends is being wronged or attacked. While he tries very hard to make people see him as mature, and mostly succeeds, he is inwardly quite petty.


Aura and Semblance: Kozmo's aura appears as a violet glow and he has an above average reserve.
His semblance involves stealing kinetic energy from his surroundings and then transferring that energy to other things. Targets with aura can only have a fraction (up to half of the speed they are moving while under the effects of his semblance) of their speed stolen, while targets with no aura protection can be slowed to a near stop and their speed can only be minimally affected by outside forces (like pulling or pushing).

When activating his semblance, a very faint, bullet-sized violet field is projected from Kozmo's eyes towards whatever he is looking at and will travel in that direction until it hits something or he cancels the effect by blinking and, once it hits, it must spread to engulf the area that will have speed stolen. When first projected the field moves extremely fast, though the speed it travels and engulfs the target decays relative to how far it travels at a rate of 5%/10ft, so the smaller and closer something is, the easier and quicker it will be affected. Because the effect is ended through broken eye contact, the maximum amount of time he can steal from a single target is dependent on how long Kozmo can go without blinking (~30-50 seconds) but it can be disrupted if at any point the target area is obscured or if he looks at anything else.

 In combat this semblance is used to slow down faster enemies and bullets drastically as well as speed himself and his weapons up. This semblance is more useful the faster the target being stolen from is, and the speed buff on its own will never make something faster than what was being stolen from. Living things under the effects of his semblance experience slowed perception of time as well.

Combat Behavior:  Kozmo excels in one on one combat. Without his semblance, his movements are slower, but they pack a punch, so he'll often bait opponents into rushing him, then blitz them with their own speed while they are off guard. His weapons are suited to close to mid range combat, though when transformed, offers him some limited long range offense. Because his semblance requires that his focus be on a singular target, he has to rely on his team to cover his back more and more as the number of opponents increases.

WEAPON

Name: Sailing no More

Primary Form: Black tonfa with violet trimming. The handles twist and slide across each tonfa for added maneuverability and to allow them to be held like pistols for firing bullets. Each tonfa has a slot for dust. Tips are weighted for crushing attacks.

Secondary Form: Connecting the tonfa together by the ends converts them into a sniper rifle with two dust slots.

Dust Functions: In tonfa mode, dust can be applied to each tonfa to add elemental damage to bullets and the tonfa themselves. In rifle mode, bullets can combine the effects of two types of dust.

History: Sailing no More was forged at Signal. It was made primarily to be able to block attacks easily. It's name references what Kozmo believes to be the best time of his life.
« Last Edit: January 21, 2018, 08:19:47 PM by Trick_Star »

Kingnoname1

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Re: Kozmo Royale
« Reply #1 on: January 20, 2018, 04:32:42 AM »
OK so now for the real review, one required change and one recommended. You should have some degree of limiting factor to the semblance itself, uses per *time period*/cool down/fixed amount of velocity transferred. I think it would be best for you to come up with a limitation of the semblance which best fits.

And as a recommendation, although you cover everything you need to I would consider looking through the approved characters if I was you just to get an idea of how much we are going to expect from you. Like I said this is enough for you first character but we would prefer more detail, particularly in history/combat behaviour.
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

Ramalia - RASB - First Year Shade

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Re: Kozmo Royale
« Reply #2 on: January 21, 2018, 03:04:53 PM »
Okay, so I've made more specific limitations for the semblance as well as added a little more clarification as to how it works.

Following advice, I checked some of the approved characters and added some more to the History section, made a small addition to the Personality section, and gave Kozmo glasses.

Let me know if there's anything else that needs to be done. Thanks.

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Re: Kozmo Royale
« Reply #3 on: January 21, 2018, 05:43:51 PM »
Ok so the last thing is a balance issue. As your semblence autohits I'm hesitant to allow to slow someone down by over 50%. So options; massively reduce speed stolen, make it some sort of projectile to give people a chance or reduce it by alot but have the affect increase over the stare(maybe capping out around 25-33%ish after a few seconds.
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

Ramalia - RASB - First Year Shade

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Re: Kozmo Royale
« Reply #4 on: January 21, 2018, 07:18:26 PM »
Semblance has been nerfed. Instead of being autohit, it is now a very fast, hard to see projectile that loses speed very quickly. Targets with aura can now only be drained up to 50% of their speed. I'm keen on having it be pretty effective, at least at close range, because his fighting style relies on him baiting attacks and stopping them last minute.

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Re: Kozmo Royale
« Reply #5 on: January 21, 2018, 07:31:22 PM »
OK personally I'm not sure if I accept 'it works whenever his eyes are open' as a very significant limitation but I'll leave well enough alone for now. I'd also recommend another read through the profile, in your editing you seem to have gotten a few sentences mashed together.

Not enough to stop me giving it a +1 tho good job.
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

Ramalia - RASB - First Year Shade

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Re: Kozmo Royale
« Reply #6 on: January 21, 2018, 08:24:31 PM »
Thanks, I promise it won't be abused, and if i happen to think of a better way to articulate the semblance in writing so that it doesn't seem broken, I'll edit in future.

I read through a couple of times but i still seem to be missing my editing errors aside from a redundant sentence in the Semblance area.

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Re: Kozmo Royale
« Reply #7 on: January 23, 2018, 05:34:34 AM »
huh I must have misread them then, oh well.

No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

Ramalia - RASB - First Year Shade

Dr. Gustave

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Re: Kozmo Royale
« Reply #8 on: January 27, 2018, 02:03:23 PM »
Seems mostly good, but

Quote
In combat this semblance is used to slow down faster enemies and bullets drastically as well as speed himself and his weapons up.

I question the ability to actually hit bullets with this semblance to slow them down.
Atlas: ShowHide
Mercenary: Kol Augur ~ The Judicator of Atlas
Speaking: #5C5054 Thinking: #EAC117
Mistral: ShowHide
Huntress-in-Training: Aca Roth ~ Member of Team RWND
Speaking: #E05260 Thinking: #EA857F
Huntress-in-Training: Brook Pallas ~ Member of Team CNBR
Speaking: #4863A0 Thinking: #98AFC7
White Fang Captain: Cornix ~ Survivor of Mistral and Captain in Vale
Speaking: #D0DAE0 Thinking: #BCC6CC
Council Member: Phaedo Katsaros ~ Figurehead for Faunus/Human relations
Speaking: #667C26 Thinking: #B6CC76
Vacuo: ShowHide
40th Vytal Tournament Champion: Zabar Aga ~ Member of Team DAWN
Speaking: #CD7F32 Thinking: #EE9A4D
Vale: ShowHide
Huntress: Malina Nahualli ~ Leader of Team MCCA
Speaking: #B3346C Thinking: #8B0C44
Beacon Professor: Titania Printemps ~ Assistant Headmistress of Beacon Academy
Speaking: #4AA02C Thinking: #E55B3C

Trick_Star

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Re: Kozmo Royale
« Reply #9 on: January 27, 2018, 05:22:52 PM »
I'm assuming that reaction times in the RWBYverse can be enough to effectively see and dodge bullets. If he can see them, the effect is going to fly towards them. It works best if he sees the actual bullet incoming or he could attempt to aim at the barrel when the bullet is fired, but it's always gonna go straight. I figure if bullets are going straight they'll collide with the field. Naturally this won't work if he can't see where he's being shot from or if he can't see the bullet in time to react. The ability also won't work well against rapid fire shots since after he's stopped one bullet he has to reset by blinking and then refocusing on another single bullet in the barrage.

Tldr: He'd use it to compensate for slow dodge speed sometimes. It's situational, but I felt that it was important to specify that it could be used that way.


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Re: Kozmo Royale
« Reply #10 on: January 30, 2018, 07:51:49 AM »
Eh, talked it over with some of the other staff. You're good, approved and moved.
Atlas: ShowHide
Mercenary: Kol Augur ~ The Judicator of Atlas
Speaking: #5C5054 Thinking: #EAC117
Mistral: ShowHide
Huntress-in-Training: Aca Roth ~ Member of Team RWND
Speaking: #E05260 Thinking: #EA857F
Huntress-in-Training: Brook Pallas ~ Member of Team CNBR
Speaking: #4863A0 Thinking: #98AFC7
White Fang Captain: Cornix ~ Survivor of Mistral and Captain in Vale
Speaking: #D0DAE0 Thinking: #BCC6CC
Council Member: Phaedo Katsaros ~ Figurehead for Faunus/Human relations
Speaking: #667C26 Thinking: #B6CC76
Vacuo: ShowHide
40th Vytal Tournament Champion: Zabar Aga ~ Member of Team DAWN
Speaking: #CD7F32 Thinking: #EE9A4D
Vale: ShowHide
Huntress: Malina Nahualli ~ Leader of Team MCCA
Speaking: #B3346C Thinking: #8B0C44
Beacon Professor: Titania Printemps ~ Assistant Headmistress of Beacon Academy
Speaking: #4AA02C Thinking: #E55B3C