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Messages - Dr. Gustave

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1
RPG Discussion / Re: Weekly Writing Prompts
« on: August 19, 2018, 09:40:35 AM »
The prompt this week is a one-line prompt, the prompt has to appear somewhere in the response to be counted as a submission.

200+ word count (Just don't write a novel.)

At the start of the story indicate whether it is a Canon or What-If scenario. Canon means it happens within the canon of the site and you need to have it either be from the perspective of your own approved character or an NPC where the focus of the story is on your approved character. An example of this would be if I had a specialist character and wrote a story from the perspective of their CO about how they keep messing up. Additionally, you may have other characters or NPCs in your story but if they're other's characters you must have approval from the user.

What-If means it's basically an alternate universe or timeline, this allows for a stronger focus on writing because you aren't constrained by site rules or RWBY, you can have anyone or anything as the PoV but you still need permission to use others' characters. That said, What-If scenarios, while no being canon on site, can still say something about the character PoV it follows if the character itself is effectively unchanged from canon, it's just that the events never happened on site.

There will be a winner this week, the prompt is open until midnight on Friday, going into Saturday, EST. After that, voting will be open for the entirety of Saturday and the winner will choose the prompt for the next week and their submission will be loved to a winners thread.

The main focus of all this should be on writing itself with character development as a beneficial side effect, we should be striving to write something that we can look back at and think, "Yeah, I'm actually proud of that." This is an excellent chance to improve your own writing as well as give criticism to or get criticism from others.

If you have any questions, do not post here, talk to me on the discord server. Only writing can be posted here, anything else will be deleted.

"What are you gonna do, shoot me?"

2
RPG Discussion / Re: Weekly Writing Prompts
« on: August 19, 2018, 09:38:37 AM »
No one posted because we're all failures.

3
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Leo's semblance is still Calculation.


4
Character Creation / Re: +1'd Characters
« on: August 15, 2018, 01:35:49 AM »

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Character Creation / Re: Cole Ashton
« on: August 15, 2018, 01:35:23 AM »
It's all still very sparse on details but it is your first character so that's not a huge issue. +1

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Character Creation / Re: Draíochta Anam
« on: August 15, 2018, 01:30:06 AM »
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Occupation: Huntsman, Substitute Teacher, and Former Aura Researcher
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Given the review so far, I'm saying no substitute. You can add it back if/when we trust you with an academy staff position, even as a substitute.

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This eventually gained the ire of the headmaster himself
Headmistress herself

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he was a substitute for their combat teacher.
This is fine in the past tense, you won't have to remove this.

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He didn't make it all the way, as he was eventually caught up in the events of Lenshin and brought into the city of Vale.
I don't know what Lenshin is.

Rest seems fine.

7
Character Creation / Re: Dawn Mae
« on: August 15, 2018, 01:00:54 AM »
This is your fifth character, I'm going to be more strict with what we allow at this point.

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Nickname: Zeiis
Why?

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Professional gamer
Mentioned nowhere else.

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Dawn was born into a rich family which lived in a large town near Stemswell.
I'm going to ignore the cliche rich family thing. Stemswell is already an average-to-large sized settlement with approximately 0 development or premade info. There's no reason to not use Stemswell instead of some ambiguous "large town" near it when there's nothing that makes the town special on its own.

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Make your graduation, become a bank employee or get another well-paid job, marry a rich man and raise your own children with the same, ect.
These goals make very little sense for growing up in a settlement. A kingdom city? Sure. Settlement? A bank, maybe but there's not going to be well-paying jobs or rich men to marry. Settlements aren't the cities, they aren't living in safety or luxury.

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but all that changed when she for the first time entered a game Acade...
An arcade in some no-name town "near" Stemswell that isn't even on the map? No. A game arcade in Stemswell? I can be persuaded.

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When the time came and the Huntsmen Academy, Beacon accepted students again, she enrolled and was invited to the exams, which, to no surprise, she all passed with flying colors.
Dawn was born into a rich family which lived in a large town near Stemswell.
Already at the young age of only four years, her above-average intelligence and her incredibly developed gift to read people made itself noticeable, which even developed further later in life.
History is repeated.

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Dawn has a very.... interesting personality. She was born as an over the top intelligent person, whose IQ surpassed that of all normal human beings.

Just... no. No, you can't have a character who's IQ surpasses all normal humans and, I assume, faunus. I shouldn't have to, and won't explain why because it should be obvious.

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Aura and Semblance
Oh boy, you're going need to change it again or impose serious limiters.

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This information can be anything from their aura level over their semblance to parts of their personality. The things she can't find out this way are memory-based information, like their background story or relationships.
I'll just put it out there without beating around the bush, this is metagaming. "But I have to touch them!" is far from a drawback, even if the character isn't CCQ oriented. You can learn personality, semblance ability and limits, aura info, fighting style, weaknesses, etc. Not knowing relationships and their history is not a drawback.

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For objects, she can find out the exact materials they are made of, immediately know their function and how to best use them.
This part is fine if you get rid of "how to best use them." A semblance that is essentially a "I win" and "I can use this perfectly" button will never fly.

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Her transcendent intelligence gives her the ability to come up with a good plan anytime, after only a few moves of her opponent Dawn can already guess their next action and work on a counter in advance.
This ties back into the IQ thing, what a shock. No, your character cannot come up with a good plan 100% of the time and be able to always know a few moves ahead of your opponent. I read that as "I can retcon my moves to be with the intention of whatever I want to do to negate what you did because my character already knew what you were going to do" As written this character is literally unbeatable because, even if she doesn't touch you, she's already insanely smarter than you and can't make a bad plan.

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Dawn lacks in close combat, especially hand to hand. She's not terrible in it, just worse than the average student of Beacon.
Well this is a useless weakness since she can just bite the bullet and get close then disengage with little to no issue but now she literally everything about how to fight her opponent. Even stuff about their semblance and aura they might not know! Cool!

[WEAPONS[/quote] A short elemental sword, dual flamethrower/shotgun gloves, pistol that shoots a grappling hook as well as a slur for the Japanese that cause explosion of sticky stuff that acts as basically spiderman webbing, and a laser skateboard. Yeah. No, cut it down. I could go into the specific issues with a few of the individual weapons but cut down the amount first.

8
Beacon Academy / Re: Introduction to Advanced Aura [Closed]
« on: August 12, 2018, 06:50:44 PM »
Malina shook her head, "No, it seems like this process only boosts the aura that feeds the defensive barrier, so unless you want to shoot yourself in the foot and pull from there you won't find any increase in power, control, any of that." Malina paused once more, weighing her words. "It's more than just losing it, though it depends how far gone it is. The more you're able to replace, the less you feel whatever you lost. The further it gets, though, the less... concrete things get. You don't just lose the ability to love someone, you lose the ability to understand love for anything, anyone. The idea of being able to love, being loved, or others loving others is lost entirely to you. It's not that it's just gone, it was never there. You know something is missing but you don't know what."

Malina turned her vision to Amane. "They won't help with natural aura training, no. The main purpose of the first step is to prepare you for the second and third... Speaking of which..." Malina turned on her heel and picked up the can from its place and stuck it just on the edge of the desk. "The second step is where many people who have the potential to master their aura stop, mostly for two reasons. The second step provides ample abilities to those who can achieve it and breaking into the third step is incredibly difficult, painful, and time-consuming on its own."

"After completing the first step and gaining the ability to double one's aura, they are tasked with putting that aura to use. The first step is to train you to get used to having larger pools of aura than normal, the second step is putting it to better use. While normally, using aura is limited to what we had on the board before, with a significantly larger pool of aura we can try new things with it, such as..."

Malina stretched out her hand and a faint raspberry glow began to emanate from her, extending out a foot, a foot and a half, two feet before it reached the can and pushed it off the desk before snapping back to the contours of her body.

"Nothing flashy, I know..." She began as she went to pick up the can, "but it's an important baseline to show. You know it wasn't my semblance, those that have seen me fight, because if it were..." Malina bent back up and cupped the can in her hand for a split second for a bassy crack filled the room and the can rocketed up and slammed into the ceiling. "... It wouldn't have been as controlled or soft."

"Now, like I said it's not flashy but there are plenty of things that the second step can afford you. As far as I'm concerned, you're only limited by time, aura pool, and creativity. Some of the more common uses range from extending your aura out to take hits in a larger range, cover spots or people with aura to defend against semblance that can't affect anything with aura covering them, or just general beefing up of normal aura attacks. My current favorite is thickening, solidifying, and softening the aura underneath your feet, essentially creating a buffer between you and the ground or, if you're going downhill, free skates."

"The main purpose of this stage is to let you act, fight, and live with increased aura pools as naturally as you do with normal pools. Any questions?"

9
Character Creation / Re: Cole Ashton, ready for review
« on: August 12, 2018, 12:27:36 PM »
Most everything is fine in and of itself but there're a few sticking points.

Occupation: Not an issue at all but I'm just letting you know you're going to have a hard time finding threads in Atlas.

Personality: Needs way more detail, right now he's basically a one-dimensional person. Check some approved characters to get an idea of what it should look like.

Semblance: Needs a range for how far his voice can travel and how loud he can get.

Combat Behavior: Needs more detail like personality but more important needs to show weaknesses.

Everything else seems fine.

10
RPG Discussion / Re: Weekly Writing Prompts
« on: August 12, 2018, 12:16:34 PM »
The prompt this week is a one-line prompt, the prompt has to appear somewhere in the response to be counted as a submission.

200+ word count (Just don't write a novel.)

At the start of the story indicate whether it is a Canon or What-If scenario. Canon means it happens within the canon of the site and you need to have it either be from the perspective of your own approved character or an NPC where the focus of the story is on your approved character. An example of this would be if I had a specialist character and wrote a story from the perspective of their CO about how they keep messing up. Additionally, you may have other characters or NPCs in your story but if they're other's characters you must have approval from the user.

What-If means it's basically an alternate universe or timeline, this allows for a stronger focus on writing because you aren't constrained by site rules or RWBY, you can have anyone or anything as the PoV but you still need permission to use others' characters. That said, What-If scenarios, while no being canon on site, can still say something about the character PoV it follows if the character itself is effectively unchanged from canon, it's just that the events never happened on site.

There will be a winner this week, the prompt is open until midnight on Friday, going into Saturday, EST. After that, voting will be open for the entirety of Saturday and the winner will choose the prompt for the next week and their submission will be loved to a winners thread.

The main focus of all this should be on writing itself with character development as a beneficial side effect, we should be striving to write something that we can look back at and think, "Yeah, I'm actually proud of that." This is an excellent chance to improve your own writing as well as give criticism to or get criticism from others.

If you have any questions, do not post here, talk to me on the discord server. Only writing can be posted here, anything else will be deleted.

"In that moment, (I/he/she/it/they/we) knew that (I/he/she/it/they/we) had fucked up."

11
RPG Discussion / Re: Weekly Prompt Winners
« on: August 11, 2018, 11:40:50 PM »
Tell me about a time your character broke a promise.

Walter

What-if: A Promise Is A Promise

"As long as I'm standing, you're not getting hurt. That's a promise."



The roaring of grimm, the sound of gunfire and the members of team CASA shouting. Everything around Coconut appears to be a blur, the boy dazed from being struck by an Ursa Major. It's all just a nonsensical mess of color and noise. Then the noise stops as a scream is cut short.

The only thing Coco could see clearly was the falling of blue-green feathers before him. He couldn't tell what had happened. None of them could. Almost mere seconds later, two of them could hear the chilling sound of twisting metal and a crash sending their healer through a tree. The gunfire would halt soon after.

Coconut was still confused. What had happened? How could it end this way? This had to be some cruel joke. A nightmare of sorts. He wanted it to be over already - he could barely lift O.T.N. anymore. This whole thing was just a bad training session or something, he just needed to get some help...




A drop of cold water falling on his nose awakened Coconut.

His eyes fluttered open and the boy looked around in confusion. It took a moment to remember where he was. He had taken refuge under a particularly thick layer of canopy during a rain storm. Despite his better judgement it appeared that he had fallen asleep. The rain had slowed down to a light drizzle. It was time to keep going anyway.

Coconut rose from his position, checking to make sure O.T.N. was still where it should be on his back. He then stepped out from under the tree he had been leaning against, splashing mud over his pants and cloak. That was hardly the worst his clothes had seen.

It would take an hour of walking to get out of the forest. A disused path appeared to be leading to a small collection of cottages. A village. Coconut stopped, checking his coat's pockets; he was running low on food supplies. Risky or not, he needed to make another stop.

As he approached the village he noted the villagers frantically running around, collecting their things and throwing them haphazardly into several carts lined up near the edge of the settlement. They were evacuating.

One of the older men was seemingly overseeing the process. He snapped his head towards the newcomer, a terrified expression on his face. Upon seeing Coconut's gear, a gleam of hope appeared in his eyes.

"A-a huntsman! Thank the heavens! We were just running out of hope!" the man uttered in a raspy voice. "A scout reported a horde of grimm heading this way, and it will be here in an hour at most. None of us are fighters, so..."

"How long do you need?" Coconut asked.

The man blinked and looked back at the villagers. There appeared to be about forty in total. "We will finish packing up soon, but we need more time to get enough distance between us and the horde. Maybe an hour or..."

"I can get you two. Leave some food and supplies, and whatever else you're willing to pay in that house over there," Coconut plainly instructed as he took O.T.N. off of his back and made a couple of practice swings with one arm. He was a bit sore from his troubled rest from earlier, but he'd have to make do.

"...And how will you escape?"

Coconut momentarily stared blankly at the man. He was going to say 'Either I do or I don't', but realized that it was probably not the best move.

"Fair point. If you have a spare horse, just strap the supplies onto it and set it on the far side of the village. Point to me where the horde's coming from, first."



Coconut spent the next twenty minutes setting up his defenses. He hadn't done anything like this in a long time, but he recalled his first mission with CASA. He first utilized his sword as a make-shift shovel, digging out small holes in the dirt, before 'borrowing' some of the fence posts around the village to be used as makeshift spears. It wasn't particularly elegant, but it would buy him time in his retreat never the less.

As he worked, he was approached by a girl - rather, a young woman. The fluffy ears on her head gave away that she was a faunus right away. Although dressed in a somewhat ragged skirt, a dusty beanie upon her head, she was rather cute - caring purple eyes, a slightly angled face making it hard to tell how old she truly was and shoulder-length, blonde hair peeking out from her headwear.

She smiled, giving Coconut a slight curtsy as she approached. Slightly flustered, the boy was unaware of how he should respond, though it didn't seem like she was expecting him to.

"Thank you, hunter. What you're doing is most admirable," she said. The girl was short. Though Coconut was crouching, she was hardly taller than he was - or, maybe, Coco himself had grown quite a bit in the past two years. "Could I know your name?"

Coconut blinked and stood up, towering over her small figure. "Coconut. Coconut Cream."

The girl nodded. "A pleasure, Coconut. I know this may seem odd... But promise you will make it back?" She asked rather sheepishly, looking down. "That... All of us will?"

"As long as I'm standing, you're not getting hurt. That's a promise."

There was a moment of prolongated silence. Finally, the boy spoke up.

"I promise. You can count on me."

The girl nodded again, turning on her heels and skipping towards the carts. Coconut reached a hand out towards her: "Hold on, you didn't tell me your name!"

The girl peeked over her shoulder and gave Coco a cheeki smirk. "I'll tell it  to you the next time we meet!"



The villagers had left little over half an hour ago. Coconut now stood a good ways away from his makeshift defensive line, near the forest he had come from himself. The horde would be upon him any minute now. He was ready, grasping O.T.N. in both hands as he began to feel the ground under his feet tremble. A sensation he had been getting used to - after all, he had become a grimm magnet, plagued by the events of his past. He had become all too familiar with the way Prism had felt - and, for that matter, with Prism's sleep schedule.

The first grimm emerged from the treeline. A row of beowolves and the smaller ursas which had made it to the front of the pack. No more than vermin to Coconut. As the first trio of beowolves pounced at him they were sliced clean in half even with just O.T.N.'s long sword form at play. The following two ursa were skewered upon his blade and used as meat shields against the charge of the third. A swift kick to free his sword, then another set of slashes and the first wave had been cleared.

Then the next wave came. And the next. And the next after that. Five minutes passed, then ten, then twenty, until Coconut couldn't even fathom how long it had been. Each line of grimm was harder to deal with, but it was not as if he hadn't trained for it. If it were just the smaller ones, he could keep the fighting up for at least an hour more.

But it couldn't just be the smaller ones, could it?

As if on que, the treeline began to fall apart as the next wave approached him. Coconut knew he was in for trouble, stepping back and guarding his face as the trees were smashed apart by the massive claws of a large deathstalker. The thing was about the largest he had ever seen, its tail nearly the height of a four story building. Even Golden O.T.N. didn't stand a chance against that thing. It was time to fall back.

A screech from above raised concerns, however. Coconut turned tail in hopes of outpacing the grimm while he still could, but a rain of sharp feathers caused him to go back on guard. Four relatively small nevermores were circling above the village, seemingly taking turns at peppering the ground upon which Coconut stood.

Things were looking grim. If he couldn't make it to his horse, his entire plan from there on would fall apart. He should have pulled back sooner, prepared better - but as always, he had gotten too cocky. That was always the reason, wasn't it? It was always his fault...

No. Fuck that, he thought. He had made a promise - and this time, it would be different. The deathstalker still on his ass, Coconut slapped O.T.N. onto his back and twisted the handle, transforming the blade into its Golden O.T.N. form. He then raised the weapon above his head, grunting as the arrows continued to rain - but few of them could now strike his body.

He leapt over his spear wall, and just in time - the deathstalker had gotten close, but the grimm following it had already passed it. Soon, however, they were met by the fence posts, colored to blend in with the ground around them. At least a dozen perished, trampled by the creatures following them.

The deathstalker did not care, however, as it crushed through the spear wall as if it was no more than just a couple of branches on the ground.

But that was not the only trick Coconut had learned from Amane. With his free hand, the boy reached into his pocket and flicked his scroll.


The beast reeled back as it passed the first pair of cottages, the explosives which Coconut had lined their walls with going off at once, sending rubble and fire dust its way. While it killed a few of the other grimm, the deathstalker might as well had not been harmed at all. But killing it with that wasn't the idea - stopping it in its tracks was.

Coconut used an undisturbed fence post to hop onto the low roof of one of the cottages. He was struck by another barrage of feathers, but that was not a major concern to the lone huntsman. He raised O.T.N. and focused his thoughts, the weapon glowing cream for a moment. He then swung at the air, letting out a powerful slash of aura towards the large grimm. The slash didn't penetrate the armor, but it did exactly what it was supposed to.

It cracked it.

The deathstalker barreled towards the cottage, crushing nearby grimm in its rampage. Cream waited, ignoring the seering pain in his back from the nevermores' constant attacks. He had to hold out just a moment longer...

Cream roared out as he raised Golden O.T.N. over his head and jumped down from the roof just before the deathstalker crashed through it. A downwards stab, if he had aimed it just right... Coconut felt a tremor go through his entire form as the blade sunk into the beast's skull, the creature releasing one last screech before collapsing.

As its body faded, Coconut glanced ahead to see another part of the horde emerging from the woods. The boy was near the horse already - he returned his weapon to its long sword form and cut the leash holding the animal where it was before checking the time. He still had an hour to hold the horde in place and his aura had already dropped below half.

He hopped onto the horse and rode out, holding his blade out in one hand. The nevermored had run out of feathers to shoot - it would be only a matter of time before they would swoop down. Going back into the thick of it would be suicidal.

But a promise is a promise, is it not?



It was late in the evening when Coconut stopped the horse and fell from it onto the ground. His side would be bruised from it later - his aura was completely depleted, as was any energy he had left in him. From a practical point of view, it hadn't been worth much - the villagers hadn't had much supplies to give.

And yet, as he laid there and attempted not to fall unconscious, he saw the girl from earlier before his eyes. He wondered if he would meet her again - if he'd ever learn her name.

No. Suppose it would be better that he didn't.

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Billy Boner wins by withdrawl

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Star Star wins by withdrawl

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Autohit granted by timeout

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Autohit granted by timeout

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