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Messages - Xarias Fury

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Plot Zone / Re: Taking A Bull By The Horns [SIGN-UPS CLOSED]
« on: February 15, 2018, 03:36:39 AM »
Those participating in the thread

Vivian, Airi, Sheer, and Topaz

Will PM when thread is up.

Character Creation / Re: +1'd Characters
« on: February 14, 2018, 11:32:52 PM »

Character Creation / Re: Billy Bone
« on: February 14, 2018, 11:32:20 PM »
Should be fine as is


The Vale Region / Re: Far From Home [CLOSED INITIATION]
« on: February 10, 2018, 06:34:37 AM »
Wisteria, still a bit red from her earlier speech, nodded at the two's suggestions. "Y-yeah. Even if I could take it by my own it'll be a waste of time. Let's just walk past it." She said, with a bit of pride. Trying to off play her earlier outburst. Walking quietly after, she sighed and stared a bit at the building with her hand resting on top of her dagger, cautious about whether or not the grimm truly would leave them alone.  Toning down her semblance, the glow from her gloves started dying down and faintly glowed under the shade of the building, still ready but less obvious to be used if needed.

Character Creation / Re: Billy Bone
« on: February 08, 2018, 05:59:08 AM »
Second character so soon? Someone's excited.

Now let's see..

Faunus is spelled as so. Not Faunest

Occupation: History mentions her travelling to vale so...why the fastest gun in vacuo? Is she still in Vacuo? Also state what academy she's attending.

Instead of enumerating her features try phrasing it as one consistent paragraph, that or bullet the features. As is, it's basically a bunch of facts jutted down when a lot of them could be condensed and connected to each other.

Same thing seems to happen here from time to time, there are plenty of instances where you could avoid writing several sentences and just connect them with conjunctions. Content-wise the history seems okay but I would like to know about her situation after the plan failed. You say the Hunter(supposed to be huntsman in this case) brought her to Vale. How did she get into beacon? Did she even have any prior schooling? How are her academics, did she have further training? Add that to history.

Does the lasso move according to how she wants? How tough is it? How long does it get?

I'm no expert but I'm pretty sure from a holstered position pistols would be way faster up close, especially compared to a lever action rifle. Not really an issue but just putting it out there.

Approved Characters / Re: Maria Sanguine
« on: February 08, 2018, 05:08:50 AM »
Gah, I hate the crimson font but the profile itself should be good to go.


Character Editing / Re: Samantha Quartz
« on: February 05, 2018, 08:58:09 PM »
So first of all this would technically be considered a new submission with all these major changes. So there's that. Other things to cover...

Format-wise the occasional wall of text that could be neatly divided into 2 or more paragraphs and the occasional unnecessary comma. Not a major issue but that's one thing.


-Don't see why you needed to divide casual and combat attire since they're more or less the same outfit with just a little extra. Nothing big though, no need to change.

 -Check for proper gender pronouns. I know this is a genderswap so please swap the pronouncs and nouns accordingly. There are still some instances of son, he, etc etc popping about and it could lead people to thinking it's referring to a different person altogether.
-The whole experimentation thing is boarding on lab character territory with the whole implant and sudden killing of people. I suggest to change it

Here comes the first major issue. The criminal group seems to be a highly convenient plot device just for Sam to get her supposed enhancement through the implant and we know nothing of their background save for the fact that they're evil and sciency. Sure it's RWBY but best tech we see is from Atlas, and for some reason these criminals manage to not only kidnap a high profile huntsman's' children and use one for experimentation, but they can do it from an abandoned warehouse with enough resources to make prototype devices. Why they didn't use other less important people for experimentation we do not know, just the fact that they went all doc-oc on poor Sam. The implant and what it does isn't even described here in detail, which i guess should be covered in equipment but that's beside the point, it's still lab-character territory.

I'll be covering this with other staff and see what they think before making a final decision.

Does way too much for a single thing, choose one and stick with it. RWBY does have semblances but it's not what defines a character or should be their main weapon unless they're a caster, so pick either sensory enhancement, manipulation, etc etc.

Especially the last two uses. Vibration storage and sound manipulation are different but related yet ultimately still different. So pick and focus on one.

Combat Behavior.
Adaptive but reminder that that doesn't mean they could make split second decision in the heat of battle if they're preoccupied with something big, like a sword swinging in their face, to the point where they'd change then and there right after the first move.

Since Rhythm is a major part of this character it would be more sensible to make the combat behavior focus on that more and not just thinking all the time to the point where it just feels like the section is just about how she's thinking. Tacticians also rely on experience and have their own way of doing things, almost as unique as combat styles. So if she is a good tactician what would be her usual way of doing things? Would she want her team to go aggressive? Just fight around until something goes wrong? Test waters and form a counterattack? Emphasize and clarify this part because it seems she's tactician in name but not substance. Just my two cents. We can't all just be Jaune shouting "Do what you're already doing!" and saying he's brilliant.

I'll be covering the implants after a little discussion. For now that's what I gotta say about the profile.

Plot Zone / Taking A Bull By The Horns [SIGN-UPS]
« on: February 05, 2018, 08:07:42 PM »
Haven't done a plot myself in a while so here's sign-ups to a maybe criminally related plot. (muahahahah)

Details are as follows:

1. Train escort through Forever Fall (Where the hell does this thing go anyways?) to edge of vale settlement or something.
2. Preferably teams, or a group of higher yeared huntsmen in training.
3. Dust shipment (cuz why not)
4. Chaperoned by none other than the great Professor William Nox himself. (Kids, you'll be doing most of the work)
5. Suspected attack on the train, they got robo guards but those things can't deal with shit.
6. The occasional grimm defense. They'd probably just get shot down by train defenses anyways.

Total of 4 Slots open and I'll be picking people according to how fitting they are with one another, compatibilty etc, and how often one posts. If you're accepted into the plot and you take too long to post, you WILL be skipped accordingly, either given a random GM reason or worst case scenario, maimed and put outta action. I'll be taking control of some points at my discretion for the sake of flow with a bit of auto-control, but nothing beyond the occasional auto-hit or move(that won't kill you. Probably, we can't kill without permission anyways.)

So Yeah, there we go. Sign-ups are now officially open. No I won't go beyond 4. That's already gonna be a clusterfudge.

AMA Section / Re: Walter's Ayy-Emm-Ayy
« on: February 02, 2018, 01:41:45 AM »
If forced to pick between biting a Beowulf to death, or kicking a puppy, what would your characters do?

Approved Characters / Re: Leona Koningsblauw
« on: February 01, 2018, 10:15:57 PM »

Ahh, dust storms in the cold briny sea. What a wondrous way to continue their boring mission. To think that they'd hit a storm so early on, and with dust fillings to boot! The intense light show interested Aurum but the face full of ice and fire and whatever other mixed dust did not, his aura took a small bit of damage but nothing he couldn't shrug off. He was tempted to go out and brave the storm like any old salty coot but he knew that the maintenance on his weapon system would be hell and frankly didn't find the thought of more wind and dust messing his hair appealing.

Hearing his brother's announcement he rushed to the area and found both of his present teammates scrambling over the large dust pillar sticking into the hull. It seemed serious and how it got there befuddled him. If it was a simple crash it would have made sense to some degree but the circumstances played out a little too conveniently for Aurum's highly active mind. Keeping that thought in the back of his head he skipped towards Topaz with a large grin on his face saying, "For a sophisticated  self-driving ship this turned out worse than expected. Well, I wouldn't blame the poor thing, it's not everyday a giant pillar of earth would suddenly spike the hull, there's something weird going on but I guess patching this big booboo takes priority. If only I had a giant amount of putty and a blast torch, though I'm guessing we don't have that at hand so let's freeze it for the meantime since obviously we can't just patch the steel with all this water gushing in. So.. you got any ice dust?

Aurum himself usually had one or two vials of dust on his person but ice wasn't one of them. He didn't really rely on that certain type, given that Atlas was already fricken full of ice in the first place, but given the situation there wasn't any quick fixes he could offer save for the single vial he had. It wouldn't be enough to patch the entire hole, given how much he was lacking but water was already pooling around his feet and the thought of getting wet inside a ship didn't seem fun at all. That's when it hit him. Aside from a stray shard of earth getting blasted towards his head by a jet of water an idea also smashed into that noggin of his, freeze the salty water around the earth and let it patch itself, at least for the meantime.

Stepping a small distance away he fashioned his weapon into a few hovering daggers held by wires and carefully tipped each one with ice dust in one swift motion. Usually one would seal it from one end to another but given the time he didn't really have that luxury, even if Topaz did have a small portable boomerang-looking flying tool.

"Since we can't melt it, let's freeze it! Activating a speed bubble around himself, Topaz and the leak, Aurum effectively slowed down the outside flow by speeding up their own time. From a massive gush the water was practically just trickling in now, which sadly wouldn't hold the second he dropped his bubble, so he launched his daggers around the pillar to freeze the edges long enough for Topaz to get started on the welding. "I know I'm pretty much a savant with my semblance but you know I can't hold this  forever so let's fix this thing quickly!!!

As Wisteria fell she saw the approaching packs of beowolves and quickly came up with a plan. Flipping in mid-air to get a better casting position, feet below her and body angled ever so slightly forwards, she started channeling the dust from her gloves to her hands, invoking an attack powerful enough to give her the effect she needed. Not too far from the ground now but still high enough to get some decent air, Wisteria launched a small cluster of fireballs at the grimm from up high and a massive gust of wind to slow her descent. Landing rather roughly, she ended up in a roll before blasting herself to her feet with a gust of wind. Immediately after, she drew her blade and started preparing some more dust if the approaching grimm continued their approach.

Spotting Lilla not too far ahead she started walking towards her with her weapon drawn, keeping her eyes and ears piqued for signs of increased activity.

Approved Characters / Re: Prof. Ferus Talandar
« on: January 14, 2018, 08:16:30 PM »
Being a teacher character Imma have to be a little bit more nitpicky than usual.

Now, ignoring the occasional unnecessary commas(not that I'm not guilty of that either), let's head on to content.

First minor gripe I got is...How did the village catch on fire when it was a grimm attack? I would ignore the grimm wavves cuz thats way too common to nitpick in, but how did a bunch of grimm start a huge fire? Is this a case of huntsman just burning down their own houses for...effect? 

I'd appreciate if you add a phrase or two explaining that, because unlike Blake's second floor balcony, palisade walls arent loaded with c4.

Regarding the cash problem, it would make more sense for the city to supply its own underage citizens, not teachers. If teachers supplied every kid that came from a grimm attack they must be paid a hefty amount to be able to do that, or it'll be a case of sue-ish favoritism because some kids would have to be ignored. Not essentially a problem per se but this is a teacher character so maybe a single teacher took pity on him or knew his village etc etc, and inspired him to take up teaching. Sure a few might work too but that kinda begs the question 'why not the other kids?'

That'll be all for now,  might cover some other things with staff because they did the personality bits and whatnot first.

The Vale Region / Re: Far From Home [CLOSED INITIATION]
« on: January 07, 2018, 07:53:23 PM »
Wisteria was annoyed by the whole team's silence and ran ahead to stop them in their tracks. "Hey, before all of you continue I'd like to say a few things." She spoke, her tone strong but not too loud, "First you, Cat. Sure we're not exactly close and aren't too familiar with one another yet but as your team mate I'd prefer not to get eaten alive because of some gloomy feelings, alright? Yin, your seriousness is fine but try to say something every once in a while, it's hard to know what you're thinking so speak your mind!"

In an almost scolding manner Wisteria glared at the two boys and then sighed, her expression softening up. Even with a huntsman nearby there was no telling what would happen. Maybe later on they'd get frustrated and gloomy, maybe they'd be too late and find something they weren't expecting. And all of these might attract grimm. Wisteria was confident that she could  handle herself but like all casters her supply was limited and they couldn't possibly spend day after day if things went awry.

So she wanted to snip the problem at its core.

"What I'm trying to say is lighten up. Things might not be all sunshine and rainbows here but- She paused, her brow furrowing as she struggled to get the next words out, "W-w...we GOT EACH OTHER OKAY! NOW SHUT UP AND STOP SULKING! IDIOTS! Even at the outburst she took care not to shout, her voice was strong however but her actions spoke louder. Activating the dust in her gloves she started glowing a blue hue, not too bright as to attract too much but bright enough to look like she was about to send off a flurry of spells. Instead, however, the aura jumped to her blade as she held it out, frost tinging the tips before she marched on, face reddened and footsteps brisk.

For a ship owned by some rich schmuck there didn't seem to be much to play around with. Where were the girls? The games? The good music? All Aurum could see and here was monotonous speakers in the corners, the occasional chair, and...not much really. Having needed to come down due to the awful weather Aurum felt disappointed that his plans for a beautiful ocean sun tan were sunk, Mantle did have the worst weather. If it were somewhere like Mistral or even Vacuo he could only imagine the beautiful noontime sun blasting his skin with its hot rays. Dull cold trips like these were why Aurum had to heat things up himself.

After Remnant-knows how many minutes Aurum spent disassembling his spider contraption for lack of anything to do, Dorian's announcement felt almost a "would puke in a bucket rather than on himself" sort of way. Reassembling his weapon to brace against his arms and torso Aurum strut towards the door, before realizing he had no idea where he was on the ship. Luckily he could see the outside from a nearby window but it didn't mean he could see anything else on the godsdamned ship. Sighing he scratched his head and walked out, aimlessly walking in the hallway for lack of anything better to do.

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