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Messages - jjb2158

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Character Creation / Re: Alexander Noire
« on: June 22, 2018, 10:57:33 AM »
As King stated, with this being your fourth character, I will be a bit more critical of things so here we go:

This section doesn't give me enough details to really picture your character. Things like weight, skin tone, eye color, and things like that help better paint the picture for all of us who would interact with this character.

This section is also rather lacking as it primarily deals with how he is when he's working, but doesn't really talk about what he is like outside of work.

More details here would help also. Is there a cool down between uses? Is there any drawback to him using it excessively?

Overall, I don't see any real big issues with the character. The only issue is that it's lacking in detail, especially with this being your fourth character. Feel free to PM or talk to me on Discord if you have any questions.

Hearing the howls from afar as well as the team taking their defensive stance, Oberon smiled slightly as he took out a small notepad and jotted some notes down so he could grade them later. Being unfazed by the impending Grimm, Oberon simply stepped around Serin and continued walking onward, his face completely unfazed by the fact that he could be attacked at any moment. "By the way!" he called out, turning his head towards the four students. "I do want to be back home in time for dinner so don't expect me to stop."

It was at that moment, as Oberon had his head turned from the front of the group, that a large beowolf jumped out from the forest with its claws raised and fangs bared. Its intent was simple: attack and devour Oberon. As it that was the signal, dozens of other beowolves came growling out of the forest in hopes of ambushing their prey.

  • Beowolves: 1 in the front, 10 coming from both the left and right, and 9 coming from the rear.
  • More howls can be heard from all around the group.

The Vale Region / Re: Frostbite [Closed]
« on: June 22, 2018, 10:35:58 AM »
Watching Nicolas thwart the lightning attack, Savas could only brace himself as the wall crashed into him, pushing him back a few feet. It was at that moment that his semblance came to an end and he took a moment to catch his breath. However, it was short-lived as Nicolas took that moment to fly into the air and fire three fireballs straight at him.

Cursing under his breath, Savas threw himself to the left, dodging two of the fireballs, but getting hit on his side by the third one, causing him to grunt as he knew his aura would dwindle from the attack. Pushing himself up as best as he could, he swung his sword and activated the lightning dust crystal once more. Try dodging this in mid-air he thought, shooting another lightning bolt straight at Nicolas. With the lightning dust crystal completely depleted along with the wind dust crystal, he only had a fire, earth, and one more wind dust crystal left in the hilt. Let's just hope I won't have to use it all up in this fight he thought as he got back up to his feet and readied for another barrage from Nicolas.

  • Semblance: Deactivated. Five minute cool down.
  • Aura: 67%

"You may try and shove me, Smokey, but I would advise against it" Oberon replied, smirking at the lad. Watching as the others discussed their strategies and took their positions to guard him, Oberon continued to stroll through the forest and admire the scenery. He couldn't help but remember his years training to become a huntsman and all the hardships he went through with his team, particularly his teammate who became his wife. Smiling as he could still sense her from afar, he wondered if the children had awaken yet. They were the type to get up early for breakfast and so he figured his wife was busy caring for their kids.

A basic plan Oberon thought as he assessed what Serin set in place. It allowed them to easily defend him should they be attacked. However, there were some flaws to it in that they would only be focusing on their last line of defense and not have a farther area of defense. Looking at the dragon construct, he also wondered how the connection between Kiro and Mikado worked as to whether Mikado could see what Kiro sees or not. If it is the latter, then having Kiro look for Grimm would be pointless in that it wouldn't be able to say anything about what it sees nor could Mikado see it either. The holes in the plan weren't extreme, but the consequences that could happen could make or break this mission. Regardless, Oberon acknowledged the fact that at least Serin was trying his best as the team leader to keep his teammates safe as well as the goal of the mission in mind.

Before Oberon could say anything, the hair on the back of his neck prickled as he felt a sudden sensation of being watched. Looks like the Grimm are around he thought with a slight smile. We'll just have to see whether this plan works out or not. It was in that moment that a loud howl could be heard in the distance, followed by dozens of howls.

Observing each member's expression, Oberon couldn't help but smirk slightly as they all seemed somewhat disappointed on how seemingly easy this mission would be. Activating his semblance, he proceeded to pin each of them so he could keep track of them. Turning to Billy first, he merely smiled at her as he pinned her with his semblance, watching her glow white in his view. "I would hate the ruin the surprise of you finding out what it could possibly be. Just know that it is related to the Academy and is of utmost importance that we bring it in. As for your question, Smokey..." he said, turning to Smokey and pinning him with the same white glow. "Yes, you will be treating me as someone to escort. I can guarantee you that there will be Grimm that you'll run into and there will be many. However, keep in mind that, should things go bad, I will intervene. This does bring up one thing: there are two ways in which you will fail this mission. First, if I deem that you are all unfit to complete the mission and have to intervene, I will not hesitate to fail your mission." Smirking again, though more wickedly this time he turned to the other two and pinned them also as he continued talking. "Second, if I get hit by any Grimm, big debris, or blast from any of your weapons, that will also dictate a fail." Taking a puff from his cigar, he savored the warmth it provided before letting out the smoke through his nostrils. "With all that said, let's proceed shall we?" With that said, he began his morning stroll down the path towards the mine with his hands clasped behind his back with no sense of urgency or peril.

Approved Characters / Re: Joshua Schwarz (Ready for Approval)
« on: June 05, 2018, 12:47:37 PM »
Sorry for the delay here....real life has been hectic this past week. Overall, I still think the semblance can use some more explanation, but I think it's decent enough to pass.

Approved 2 of 2. Happy RPing.

OOC: Sorry for the delay! Yesterday was my final for college so I was preoccupied by that.

Nodding to the final two that joined them, Oberon took one last puff from his cigar and proceeded to smothering it out by pressing it against his calloused hand. Flicking the remains of it away, He stood up and inspected each student before speaking. "Glad of you to join us Mr Avery" he replied simply. "With everyone here, we can go ahead and proceed with the briefing." Clasping his hands behind his back, he cleared his throat before continuing. "Today's mission is a simple escorting mission. You will be escorting me through the Emerald Forest to a small mining community about five miles away where I will be picking up an item to take back to Beacon." Pacing back and forth slowly before the students, he used it as an opportunity to look at each student as he paused to let it sink in briefly. "I'm sure each of you may find this mission a bit lacking and tedious. However, we had just received a report that the Grimm have been restless as of late and have been seen in more frequent numbers. This is why the school decided to use this as an opportunity for a first year team to help dwindle the number down." Taking another pause, he stopped his pacing and folded his arms across his chest. "You are authorized to use whatever weapons or skills you have to take down any and all Grimm that comes our way." Focusing his penetrating gaze first on Smokey and then on Mikado, he continued. "Just don't burn the forest down." Smirking slightly, he pulled another cigar out and proceeded with lighting it. "Any questions before we head out? I'd personally like to be back before dinner." Taking a deep breath, he blew out a steady stream of smoke as he arched an eyebrow, waiting for any questions they might ask.

OOC: Normally, I like to go in turns and was thinking of waiting until the other two posted, but I think it'll be alright if I post again briefly.

Looking up from his canteen, Oberon nodded in acknowledgement to both students that walked up to him. "Top of the morning" he replied simply. "You must be Billy" he asked as he walked over to Billy with an extended hand before turning to Smokey. "And you must be Smokey" he said, extending his hand to the lad. "Yes, my name is Oberon. The others should be here soon." Looking at his clock and seeing that there was still ten minutes until the time they were required to show up, he took another puff from his cigar and let the smoke trickle out through his nostrils. "Once the others show up I will go ahead and debrief all of you. For now, go ahead and make sure you have everything in order." With that, he took another sip from his canteen and sat back down on the stump he was on previously.

It was a quiet morning in Beacon Academy. Here and there, the faint songs of the birds up before dawn could be heard as they prepared to search for food. With the majority of its attendees still in the dorms asleep, Beacon Academy seemed almost like a ghost town.

Breaking the silence, Oberon made his way through the school as he walked south towards the entrance to the Emerald Forest. Watching his surroundings, he nodded in acknowledgement to two upperclassmen who appeared to be enjoying the quiet morning by taking a morning jog. Pressing onward, he made the descent down the path to the west of the Emerald Forest entrance where he informed a new team to meet him.

Getting to the meeting point and seeing no one there yet, he checked his watch to see that he had arrived almost twenty minutes early. Better early than right on time he thought as he found a nearby stump and took a seat. Pulling out his canteen, he took a long drink from it, savoring the rich, fragrant coffee his wife prepared for him before he left. Looking over to the Residential section of Vale, he saw the faint pink glow of his mark on his wife. Smiling to himself, he pulled out a cigar and proceeded to lighting it. A simple escort mission today, huh? he thought, smirking slightly at the notion. Despite him not needing an escort for what he was asked to do, this was a great way to help a team build trust among each other as well as for him to assess their strategies and tactics before he got them in his class.

Taking a deep inhale from his cigar, he let it out in a long, drawn out breath, the smoke lingering for a moment before dissipating. Team Blossom, hmmmm? Should be interesting he contemplated, taking another sip from his canteen as he waited for the four members of the team to arrive.

Approved Characters / Re: Joshua Schwarz (Ready for Approval)
« on: May 29, 2018, 10:35:52 PM »
Thank you. Here's my revision:

Against my better judgment and only because you're new to the board, I will say that the history is acceptable, albeit, very bare-boned. Keep in mind that, as you create more characters, we will require more thought to be put into your character's history. My suggestion would be to look over other characters and see what they put to help inspire you to write.

A couple things here still:
1. This is still somewhat vague on how much of an increase it will allow. My biggest concern against this semblance is that there is no limit to how much of an increase, which is a big no-no in my books. If you want to have this semblance, then there will need to be a limit on it, one that is specific to a first year student at Beacon (meaning, the increase cannot be a big amount).
2. There still isn't really any drawbacks to this semblance other than him not having a lot of kinetic energy to use his semblance. This really isn't a drawback as that number can increase dramatically if he was to simply get shot once by a gun or hit by a weapon. For a semblance like this that has a huge potential, I would like to see at least two more weaknesses: one small and one big.

The Vale Region / Re: Frostbite [Closed]
« on: May 24, 2018, 04:57:17 PM »
With the blast of wind hitting Nicolas directly, Savas continued on, in hopes of closing the distance quickly before his semblance ran out and Nicolas could gain a foothold in the situation. Charging as quickly as he could, he closed the distance, his heavy footsteps landing loudly on the ground. As Nicolas took on what looked like a guarded stance, Savas got within range of using the lightning crystal, but hesitated for a moment. He might be able to dodge this attack... he thought, but quickly erased any hesitation. The time to act was now or never and so, with a heavy vertical slash, Savas unleashed a bolt of lightning straight at Nicolas. Should this hit, then the battle would surely tilt in his favor and he would win. However, something in Nicolas' stance told Savas that he would need to be prepared for a second plan of attack.

  • Semblance: Activated. 15 Seconds remaining.
  • Aura: 90%

The Vale Region / Re: Frostbite [Closed]
« on: May 20, 2018, 09:19:49 PM »
Watching Nicolas fly away from him with amazing speed, Savas had only a brief moment to be surprised before two icicles came flying straight at him. Unable to dodge, he raised his sword to help block one of the icicles, but was hit hard by the second one in his abdomen, causing him to grunt and take a step back from the impact. "Ngggrh...not bad" he muttered, reassessing his options. Seeing that Nicolas was keeping a far distance from him, Savas could only assume that he would continue to do so in hopes of having the advantage.

Changing his plan of attack, Savas proceeded to running perpendicular to Nicolas. Pulling Metatron off his back, he slammed Sandalphon into it, causing the two to become one. Wield Halvanhelev with one hand, he continued his long strides as he pulled a dust cylinder and loaded it. "Lets do this!" he roared, rotating the cylinder so that an air crystal was the first to be used. Swinging Halvanhelev with a brute force, it created a horizontal slash of highly pressurized air that went straight towards Nicolas. Hopefully that'll stun him slightly he thought as he rotated the cylinder to a lightning crystal. Pivoting on his left leg, he sprinted as fast as he could towards Nicolas, hoping to close the distance enough so that he could use the crystal to stun him.

  • Semblance: Activated. 30 seconds remaining.
  • Aura: 90%

Approved Characters / Re: Joshua Schwarz (Ready for Approval)
« on: May 20, 2018, 09:08:10 PM »
I'm not seeing any of the changes you indicated. I also see that the last changes you made to your character was back on May 11th. Did it not save when you did it last?

The Vale Region / Re: Frostbite [Closed]
« on: May 18, 2018, 12:10:30 PM »
Following behind Nicolas and Aurelia silently, Savas merely took in the scenery of his hometown. Despite the dreary weather, the town buzzed with activity from shops opening up to showcase their wares to a few small children running down the pavement, laughing as they went along. Here and there, he caught a few gazes on him, though many of them merely nodded their head in acknowledgement of the giant faunus, to which he nodded back politely.

Arriving at the outdoor arena, Savas took a moment to get himself prepared for a fight. Walking over to the other side of the arena from Nicolas, he smirked slightly as he saw the faint glimmering around Nicolas. "Ngggrh...guess we're not holding back" he remarked, also activating his semblance. As he began to glow a dark crimson, he closed his eyes and let the faint picture of his team flash before his eyes. I will live on for them he thought as his semblance activated and he let out a loud shout, as if challenging the heavens itself. With his semblance glowing around him like a raging fire, Savas pushed off, breaking the hardened dirt with his weight and force as he came charging straight at Nicolas, Sandalphon held at shoulder length to do a downward swing on the man.

Approved Characters / Re: Joshua Schwarz (Ready for Approval)
« on: May 16, 2018, 03:52:51 PM »
First, hello to the RP. My apologies for the delay in the second review, but I'll take care of that:

Seeing that he did not attend any Academy and only did homeschool, a brief explanation on how he got accepted into Beacon Academy would help flesh out your history, which is pretty bare-boned.

This area is EXTREMELY vague and doesn't have much information in regards to the extent of his semblance. A couple things to note:
1. How much is "Substantial"? Please give an example or extent of what this looks like.
2. What are the drawbacks to using his semblance too many times in a row? As it stands, he is able to use it non-stop with only a mere 20 seconds between each interval. There will need to be more of a drawback to using it too many times in a row.

Those are the main concerns I have with your character. Please feel free to PM or message me on Discord if you have any questions.

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