Author Topic: Lunae Terenas  (Read 719 times)

MonsterManic

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Lunae Terenas
« on: March 08, 2017, 05:33:26 PM »
CHARACTER

Name: Lunae "Luna" Terenas

Age: 18

Species and Gender: Human Female

Symbol: Three used cartridges falling to the floor, outlined by an orange explosion

Occupation: Second Year Beacon Academy student

Appearance: A 5'4, energetic and happy-go-lucky girl, Lunae has brown, almost blonde hair accented with gold which is kept in a ponytail, light blue eyes with flecks of grey, a friendly face and a wide smile. She wears a yellow crescent moon earring on her left ear, and has a pin shaped like a bullet which she uses to hold up her ponytail. She normally goes pretty hard on the makeup, altering her look but not enough to make her seem strange, sticking to the basics like eye shadower and powder. Usage of her weapons have left her with surprisingly strong arms.

Lunae shuns the school uniform for a more revealing orange corset under a brown and white tank top, usually covered by a leather jacket with shortened sleeves and trimmed waistline. She also wears a short grey combat skirt, complete with brown combat boots. These boots have spikes that extend and retract at the press of a inner button, anchoring Lune to the ground and reducing recoil from her weapon. An alternate outfit has her wearing a bright orange and black hoodie, resembling multiple nuclear explosions, and biker trousers(despite her not owning a motorbike) for more casual occasions. She normally grabs whatever footwear is close at hand, no matter if it goes well with the clothes she is wearing or not.

No matter the choice of clothes, Lunae rarely goes out of Beacon without something that makes her stand out from everyone else in a crowd: her exo-skeletal arm support. This is strapped to her back and is a shining metallic grey, with brown piston components and silver metal plates interlocking in a complex Atlas-based design.

History: Lunae has had as peaceful a life as any could have wished for, living in a gun shop located in Vale, owned by her father and uncle. The shop had many customers, and thus Lunae was blessed with a well-off family and income. Her uncle also ran a small smuggling business that specialised in Atlas tech, and resold the stolen goods in their store. But, of course, Lunae didn't know about that.

When she was young, she was immersed in stories of being a Huntress, thanks to the stream of Hunters purchasing from their store and taking time to intrigue Lunae with tales of Grimm being slain by them, several of which may or may not have been over-exaggerated. This piqued Lunae's interest, and she asked her father to bring her to see Hunters in action. Her father refused for the reason that it was too dangerous for a young girl, but promised that he would make it up for her. True to his word, her father got tickets to a fireworks show along the coast of a nearby village. The fireworks show was small, but to the childish eyes of Lunae, it was one of the most beautiful things in existence, especially with Remnant's shattered moon in the background. While other kids her age covered their ears and hid behind their parent's legs as normal kids do, Lunae basked in both the light from the fireworks and the explosive crackles and pops. She was later brought to the firework cannon and it was like she found a long-lost treasure, such was her excitement at seeing the thing that created such fun for her. The staff had to drag her away from the machine before she started climbing all over the machinery.

The next day, her father walked into the store to see Lunae struggling to lift a 8-kg bazooka and about to pull the trigger, aimed right at the house next door. He dashed over to lift her away from the weapon of destruction, before looking up to see Lunae's uncle doubled over with laughter at the shock on her father's face. He'd set it up all along with a blank charge, just for a laugh, it turned out. Looking back at Lunae in his arms, her face filled with wonder, he felt obliged to take the rocket launcher out for a demonstration. She delighted in both the noise and the explosion that the rocket made. The neighbors were less amused. This only solidified Lunae's love for explosive weapons, much to her parents's astonishment. However, they still had control over her life, and demanded that if she was to use such weapons, she had to learn every dang safety rule to using such dangerous equipment. She instantly and happily agreed, if only to be able to wield such tools of pure awesomeness.

Her father agreed to start teaching Lunae the proper way to use explosives when she was at the right age, as well as the basics of being a Huntress, seeing as she was learning to use weapons. She had already been attending school, so academics wasn't much of a problem. The more obvious topic was the way she was going to use her chosen weapon, as she couldn't start unloading rockets wherever she liked. Besides, those rockets were expensive. The cost problem was solved in a unexpected way when Lunae was out practicing proper procedure with a stock RPG. Without realising, she had stopped reloading and was just unleashing rocket after rocket, before suddenly feeling faint and blacking out. When she awoke, she was in her bed, with her parents hovering protectively over her. They explained that she may have unlocked her semblance, as the rockets she was firing were glowing a bright orange. That, and the hardly recognisable remains of the training range.

A few days after the incident (she was 15 now), her uncle came in the store with something they had never seen before: a battered, broken, half-complete exo-skeletal frame with only the arms attached. Her uncle had got the frame as payment for a previous trade. Along with the frame came two Vulcan miniguns, which Lunae paid no attention to at first. It only took her father 3 seconds to make her fall in love with the gun (He picked up a minigun, aimed at a target board and shredded it in that time), and begged her father to let her use it. All he said was "We'll see", and nothing more was said of the topic. Lunae thought her father had forgotten all about it, until her 18th birthday when she was presented with both the now unrecognisable exo-skeletal arm frame and the twin upgraded miniguns by her uncle, and a new, custom-designed RPG specially designed for Lunae by her father, signalling their approval for her to join Beacon.

Personality: Loud, confident, self-sure are some of the most common words used to describe Lunae. Those traits allow her to easily engage in conversation, even with strangers. However, this does not mean she befriends every person she meets; rather, she finds it hard to actually make proper friends at times. Her confidence is the main reason why she jumps headlong into most things, trusting her instincts and her weaponry to bail her out if something goes awry (which it does sometimes). This does put her in trouble when fighting Grimm, as her overconfidence puts her in tough spots at times. Her loud voice is another defining feature, and as she likes to say: "Being able to be heard anywhere at anytime is a essential thing." Energetic in most situations (apart from school), Lunae is athletic for her age, but at the same time, she isn't incredible at school subjects in general. She is not afraid to pull some...mature stops to get what she wants from others sometimes, but does not do it for the fun of it.

When people ask her "Why did you want to become a Huntress?", they are mostly astonished by her answer of "Because I can see the pretty explosions!" She loves loud noises, and especially adores firework shows, being the source of her enjoyment. She has an obsession of sorts toward any weapon that makes a big bang, and will go as far as to stare straight at a flash-bang with sunglasses on.

Aura and Semblance: Lunae has a orange aura, and she has a large aura pool to draw from when using her Semblance. However, she is not good at using her aura for anything else than regeneration, but her stamina regenerates faster than others.

Lunae's Semblance, Salvo Core, allows her to manifest her aura as projectiles. More specifically, any weapon she is touching, she can provide infinite ammo for, as long as she has the stamina for it. The ammo she manifests out of aura will retain all of the original ammo's characteristics (caliber, size, etc) but will not copy any dust effects. This includes any special, custom-made ammo with whatever special effects it originally had. The same goes for any explosive weaponry, like RPGs and grenade launchers. Basically, this means Lunae can pick up any gun and use it regardless of ammo. Oh, and she doesn't have to reload either, as the bullets/rockets manifest in the magazine/launch tube. However, she cannot rapid-fire her RPG due to the recoil. The ammo created by said Semblance eventually dissipates in 10 seconds after being fired. Any bullet or rocket created by Lunae's Semblance glows orange, making them easily recognisable. If any gun with manifested bullets leaves contact with Lunae, the bullets dissipate.
more details: ShowHide
 Lunae has used her semblance most with her selected weapons, and thus requires less effort to manifest ammunition for them. However, if using her semblance on other weapons, she has to use more stamina to create the same amount of ammo for, per say, a magazine for a pistol. The stamina used varies on the amount of ammo, the size (caliber) of the bullet and any special features included. The base stamina numbers are as follows (for reference):
For her own weapons:
Full reload of 300 rounds for one minigun: 18% of stamina
Rocket for RPG: 8%
10-round magazine for pistol: 2%

Other weapons that aren't hers:
10-round mag for pistol: 4%
15-30 round mag for machine-gun: 8%
6-round mag for sniper-rifle: 8%
1 grenade/1 rocket for grenade/rocket launcher: 12%


Lunae's Semblance can be further upgraded/improved via a one-use Foci, infused with powdered Ice Dust. This said Foci is the aforementioned "cartridge" pin that holds up her ponytail. When used, she loosens the pin, letting down her hair and gaining a more wild, unkempt appearance. Her Aura gains a slight light-blue tinge, and all ammo created gains a small freezing effect. This also cools her miniguns, meaning that for the duration that the Foci is active, her miniguns do not overheat, allowing for continuous fire. This does not change the recoil, however. In her RPG's case, any rockets created/fired create ice shards that spread on contact, like a frag grenade. The Foci's effects last around 10 seconds.

Combat Behavior: Dual miniguns and a modified RPG mean that whatever Lunae chooses to do, it'll be very, very loud, and very, very powerful. Using the destructive firepower of her weapons, she can provide heavy cover fire and shell out positions, forcing her enemies out into the open, where they get mowed down by her miniguns. Due to her semblance, Lunae can keep the firepower going for up to 20 seconds before her miniguns get too hot, in which case she either uses her second minigun, or switches to her RPG for more explosions. She is by all means the heavy artillery of the team.

All that being said, she has very exposed weaknesses. Due to the 20mm rounds being too heavy to carry in bulk, Lunae only carries 150 rounds for each gun. When that runs out, she has to rely on her Semblance, and if her stamina runs out as well, she is left helpless. The same applies to her RPG, as she doesn't carry a single rocket with her. As well as that, her choice of heavy weaponry leaves her largely immobile, and her utter lack of melee capabilities means if she gets jumped, she is a sitting duck.

Simply put, Lunae counts on the sheer power of her weapons to repel or fight off enemies, while simultaneously either keeping enemies in one spot via cover fire, or driving enemies out of hiding locations via RPG bombardment.

WEAPONS

Name: None given

Primary Form: 2 modified, minaturised M61 Vulcan miniguns with only four barrels instead of six and decreased fire rate/recoil, mounted on a exo-skeletal arm frame that extends from Lune's backpack. The gun itself is around 120 cm, 2/3rds the original length. Each gun has a maximum of 300 high-velocity 20mm rounds per belt. It takes up to 3 seconds to spin-up to full RPM. Fires 4000 rounds per minute, or 66 per second at maximum capacity, but in the interest of conserving ammo and stamina, Lunae normally uses 1/4th of the RPM, totalling 16 bullets per second. Prone to overheating if fired for more than 20 seconds at a time. Lunae only carries 150 rounds for each minigun, and rounds are ejected off to the side after being expended.

Exo-Skeletal Form: The exo-skeletal frame, mounted parallel to her arms, is designed for ease of movement without constricting natural arm movement, so Lunae can move her arms just as easily as she could without the frame, except slower. Each arm supports one minigun on the sides of the arms, reducing the recoil from said gun. The miniguns themselves can be detached. The ammo belts lead from the gun to two chests behind the frame, located around the back of Lunae's ribcage, which themselves can be detached like ballast. A side effect of the arm supports is that Lunae gains massive punching power, but this is very rarely used by her intentionally.

Storage Form: The barrels on each minigun retract into the main firing mechanism, and the arms fold up behind Lunae, above the ammo chests, with the barrels pointing downward. In this mode they are not much more than dead-weight, and is only used for ease of mobility.

History: Originally Atlas tech, then rebuilt and modified by her uncle, and created to sate Lunae's hunger for loud and powerful weapons, these dual vulcan miniguns are part of a dual set of weapons designed for use with the exo-skeletal arm support.

Name: None given

Primary Form: Customised rocket-propelled grenade launcher with a sight which swivels to fit the user. Has about the same range as a sniper rifle, and a projectile speed of around 120 mps. That's basically it. Lunae doesn't even carry ammo for it due to her Semblance. However, the rockets it fires do just about the same, if not more, than one of Magnhild's grenades.
Fire, hit, go kaboom. When not in direct usage but in combat, the RPG is slung behind Lunae's right shoulder, and when needed, unfolds over her shoulder, exposing the sight which moves in front of Lunae's right eye. A handle and tripod grip unfolds from the base of the firing mechanism in this mode. Otherwise, it is held like a normal RPG.

Secondary Form: The grip and trigger disconnect from the whole launch tube, revealing a modified pistol that fires .50 caliber bullets. Holds up to 10 rounds per magazine, but Lunae only carries the one always inside the pistol.

Storage Form: The discharge tube disconnects from the firing mechanism and trigger. The tube is then stored horizontally across the back of Lunae's waist, while the firing mechanism is holstered at Lunae's side.

History: Designed and built by her father, and created to quench Lunae's thirst for explosive weapons, the RPG is the second part of a dual set of weapons designed for use with the exo-skeletal arm support.
« Last Edit: March 16, 2017, 06:11:20 AM by MonsterManic »
Setsuna Antiqua - First Year Leader, Team ASTC - Steadfast Shield

Tina Allan - First Year Member, Team ATLA - Twin Sharpshooter

Tieren Augus - First Year Student - Raging Berserker

Kei Tsz Fung - Fourth Year Member, Team SARK - Silent Duelist

Lunae Terenas - Second Year Student - Unlimited Explosions

Graham Dylandy - First Year Member, Team LLGD - Technological Samurai

Jocelyn Antiqua - First Year Member, Team CASA - Combat Medic

Yu Nanhai - First Year Student - Lone Survivor

Rachel Jonquil -First Year Student - Spirit Summoner

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Don't be sorry about it. There's technically no limit to how many WiPs you can have at a time, apart that if you make too many short, incomplete & shitty ones, the mods may ban you.

Post-reboot has a decent example.
Nathan Eau, De Facto Jetpack Guy and Leader of Team INKK
Camelia Sol, Miss Magnetic Personality and Leader of Team CBLT (dead team)
Anna Fall, Insightful Visionary of Team ASTC
Brock Greenwood, Human Titan of Team DGTL
Helena Chlophyll, Ray of Sunshine of Team CHES (dead team)
Scarlett/Corinth,Korynn,etc. Briggart/Topaz (In the works)
Max (mp)
Chloe (mp)
Maena Nadir, Coherent Beam of Team SSMR
Europa/Encela(dus)/Io/Callisto/Calypso (In the works)
Hannah Glass
Mark Cassini
Carlson Ferram
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"Some goddamn bullshit, Invictus Omega"
"The Ferryman"
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"HOT HOT HOT"
"s m o l"
"Alastair Reynolds"
"Living Weapon"
"Glm"
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AMCAA

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Re: Luna Terenas (Feedback appreciated)
« Reply #2 on: March 09, 2017, 10:03:23 AM »
I know the semblance says it doesn't copy dust effects already as part of the ammunition but can you apply other dust to the semblance?
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

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Re: Luna Terenas (Feedback appreciated)
« Reply #3 on: March 09, 2017, 10:26:53 AM »
I don't think I will. I want this character to be short and sweet, easy to understand. Thus no Dust semblances I reckon. Might have to make it more clear...
Setsuna Antiqua - First Year Leader, Team ASTC - Steadfast Shield

Tina Allan - First Year Member, Team ATLA - Twin Sharpshooter

Tieren Augus - First Year Student - Raging Berserker

Kei Tsz Fung - Fourth Year Member, Team SARK - Silent Duelist

Lunae Terenas - Second Year Student - Unlimited Explosions

Graham Dylandy - First Year Member, Team LLGD - Technological Samurai

Jocelyn Antiqua - First Year Member, Team CASA - Combat Medic

Yu Nanhai - First Year Student - Lone Survivor

Rachel Jonquil -First Year Student - Spirit Summoner

Prof. Ferus Talandar -Grimm Specialist Teacher at Beacon - One Man Army

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Re: Lunae Terenas (Feedback appreciated)
« Reply #4 on: March 11, 2017, 07:12:00 PM »
Right, uh...

I'm enjoying the backstory for the character, and I don't see anything wrong with her appearance or anything else. The concept of the semblance is very unique, with the main issue I can see being that the aura constructs remain; will they eventually dissipate? Or are you creating actual ammunition that simply glows? Because the latter isn't allowed by the rules; aura constructs are allowed, permanent ones less so.

However, the main issue I see is the four miniguns. One is... already quite the powerhouse. I'm not just talking about simple firepower, which we'll go into, but the recoil itself. I'm not particularly sure if an exosuit would be able to hold a full-RPM minigun lobbing out bullets without, y'know, tearing itself to shreds. If they're fully sized, how are they even fitting? Those things aren't exactly the smallest of objects. If the exosuit is large enough and made out of enough high-quality materials, sure, in theory it could fit. But how would the suit get enough power to lob that much weight and mechanics around? More to the point, how would the user be cushioned from that much firepower? If you managed to solve all of that together, you're likely approaching Atlas-level technology (as stated) which, well, how did a gun shop owner come across not only tech of that level, but either the money, contacts or skills to afford or steal it? Yes, Remnant probably has slightly cheaper costs for weapons considering the sheer amount of combat experienced and the reliance on weapons, but there's a limit to how much that can be pushed. And if he stole it - well, how come there's nothing about it put, nothing apart from a passing note about Atlas put, and how the hell did a gun shop owner in Vale get over there, steal what sounds to be high-level technology from under their noses and then parade it around as his daughter's weapon?

My personal recommendation would be to significantly downgrade the technology required; you can have four rotating guns if you really wanted, but of that scale? I'd recommend going for something significantly, uh, smaller. Yes, it might go against the theme of the character, but there's a logical limit to just what can be achieved. The costs for constructing the suit alone would be astronomical; a gun shop owner wouldn't have that kind of money, despite his trade. How would he even know how to make an exosuit? At the very least, if you'd determined to continue with the suit as-is (which I warn against, as several people have talked about vulcan miniguns before and... well, it was an interesting sight) then you at least must have some kind of justification for all the questions behind the suit and the weapons.
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Re: Lunae Terenas (Feedback appreciated)
« Reply #5 on: March 12, 2017, 03:33:01 AM »
Yeah, I may have gone a bit overboard on the firepower department...

The ammo created by her Semblance only lasts for around 10 seconds after firing, after which they dissipate into nothingness.

Changed to only accommodate two miniguns, and specified that they are miniaturised. Also stated that the fire rate, as well as the recoil is reduced from the original version. May also add that Lunae cannot use them consecutively/for a long duration, as the recoil starts to hurt her.

Changed the backstory from "complete exo-suit" to "half-complete, broken suit" that her uncle got from a trade. Basically, from illegal to "somewhat" legal, I suppose. For the suit itself, it was never really constructed by her uncle, merely repaired, something that was well within his skill range, due to the fact it was only the arms, and not remotely controlled. Actually, scratch that completely, it can't even be DEFINED as a exo-suit because it doesn't even cover the person. More like one of those mechanical aids that help old people walk, except it's the arms instead.

Should I create a new section detailing the support itself?
« Last Edit: March 12, 2017, 03:58:23 AM by MonsterManic »
Setsuna Antiqua - First Year Leader, Team ASTC - Steadfast Shield

Tina Allan - First Year Member, Team ATLA - Twin Sharpshooter

Tieren Augus - First Year Student - Raging Berserker

Kei Tsz Fung - Fourth Year Member, Team SARK - Silent Duelist

Lunae Terenas - Second Year Student - Unlimited Explosions

Graham Dylandy - First Year Member, Team LLGD - Technological Samurai

Jocelyn Antiqua - First Year Member, Team CASA - Combat Medic

Yu Nanhai - First Year Student - Lone Survivor

Rachel Jonquil -First Year Student - Spirit Summoner

Prof. Ferus Talandar -Grimm Specialist Teacher at Beacon - One Man Army

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Re: Lunae Terenas (Feedback appreciated)
« Reply #6 on: March 12, 2017, 11:44:44 AM »
That's exactly what I was looking for. Thank you!

Semblance: All good. With the downgrade, I'd almost be tempted to suggest possible Dust effects...?

Miniguns: All good.

Exosuit: Welp, that sounds alright. If it's basically a mechanical walker, you probably could have just scavenged the frame off any destroyed Atlas robot; I imagine they wouldn't exactly care about the older models being bought from a junkyard or something like that. Also, with this addition, you might be able to get away with a little bit more agility; perhaps still slow to react, but maybe its mechanical force can be used at once to do fast but imprecise movements? Such as large jumps or a single sudden swing to the side. All your decision, of course; just ideas if you want to use them.

I think it might just be best to make a single weapon form; detailing the exosuit, with the primary form talking about the walker by itself, the secondary form talking about when loaded with the weapons, and the third talking about when the weapons are in storage form. After all, it is meant to be one cohesive weapon together, right?

Thanks for taking all the advice so easily, Monster :3
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Re: Lunae Terenas (Feedback appreciated)
« Reply #7 on: March 12, 2017, 11:55:18 AM »
Just to clarify, she got these on her 18th birthday? So... she didn't have them for at least a part of her first year? Nothing wrong with that, just wanted to make sure.

And uh... athletic for a girl? Just say athletic. I personally am not offended, but others may be, and the fact that she's a huntress in training already says that she's so anyway, so maybe just leave that out. Or word it differently, like 'she's more athletic than most' or something if she's more so even if only counting others in her occupation.
Mauve Roux(1st year leader of team ROSE):“Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be obtained only by someone who is detached.”  -Simone Weil

Bianca Li(1st year member of team CBLT):"When you're the victim of the behavior, it's black and white; when you're the perpetrator, there are a million shades of gray." -Laura Schlessinger

Primrose Aster(1st year member of team BTRA):“To weep is to make less the depth of grief.”  -William Shakespeare

Cerise Carnelian(1st year member of team VCVS):"Be as you wish to seem." -Socrates

Lien Li(2nd year member of team MLDC): "To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders." -Lao Tzu

Aurora Hesperid(1st year leader of team ATLA)

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Re: Lunae Terenas (Feedback appreciated)
« Reply #8 on: March 12, 2017, 01:11:59 PM »
Glow: I think you might have slightly misunderstood, the "exo-skeleton" I refer to is simply a way for Lunae to use two miniguns at a time with less trouble. Also, good to know your questions are resolved :D

Mythic: I think she joins in her second year, so no to the first year thing. Also, didn't think that the word choice would be a problem. Apologies.
Setsuna Antiqua - First Year Leader, Team ASTC - Steadfast Shield

Tina Allan - First Year Member, Team ATLA - Twin Sharpshooter

Tieren Augus - First Year Student - Raging Berserker

Kei Tsz Fung - Fourth Year Member, Team SARK - Silent Duelist

Lunae Terenas - Second Year Student - Unlimited Explosions

Graham Dylandy - First Year Member, Team LLGD - Technological Samurai

Jocelyn Antiqua - First Year Member, Team CASA - Combat Medic

Yu Nanhai - First Year Student - Lone Survivor

Rachel Jonquil -First Year Student - Spirit Summoner

Prof. Ferus Talandar -Grimm Specialist Teacher at Beacon - One Man Army