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Author Topic: Momo Matsumoto  (Read 831 times)

Zenzefer45

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Momo Matsumoto
« on: November 28, 2016, 01:52:04 PM »
Name: Momo Hiei Matsumoto

Age: 17. Born Arashi 15th, 64AC

Species and Gender: Human Female

Symbol: An orange peach

Occupation: Full time student at Beacon High scool, 1st year student

Appearance: Momo Matsumoto is a girl who stands at a stoic 5'10'' tall. She has shoulder length black hair and black eyes on a face of Asian complexion. She wears a pair of semi-rimless glasses, which are a steel grey color. Momo requires her glasses to see. Otherwise, she struggles to see even close objects. therefore, she rarely ever takes them off. Momo wears pink nail polish on her toenails, and Momo's breasts are around the 36D range.

School outfit: Momo wears her school uniform with pride. However, she has made some adjustments to it to fit her liking. She has shortened the skirt so that it only goes down with 4'' between the end and her knee, and her socks only come up to about 6'' before her knee

Casual Wear: Momo is normally seen wearing a white blouse with green lining on her collar and sleeves, a green pleated skirt the same length as her modified school skirt, and her favorite and only shoes: a air of satin black flats with bows and light grey insoles. Momo wears this outfit every day with the exception of school, and washes it before she goes to bed. Momo is normally seen wearing a white blouse with green lining on her collar and sleeves, a green pleated skirt the same length as her modified school skirt, and her favorite and only shoes: a air of satin black flats with bows and light grey insoles. Momo wears this outfit every day with the exception of school, and washes it before she goes to bed. If forced to fight in this outfit, while she opposes to it strongly, she has the ability to fight effectively in it, and on very rare occasion, will remove her flats, put them in a safe place, normally a purse, and will fight barefoot.


Battle Outfit. Momo's battle outfit is an orange blouse with an orang knife pleated skirt and geta flip flops that are about 1" from bottom to the sole of her foot. Momo is fully capapble of fighting in such an outfit and has since her first years of training

History: Momo Hiei Matsumoto was born to parents Eiji Isoroku Matsumoto and Haruna Kirishima Matsumoto. Momo's family is a middle class family and enjoyed the benefits of wise spending and good banking from her infancy right up to her current age of 17.  Momo was always taught to spend wisely, buying the necessities ands only when you can afford it, buying the luxuries.

Momo was never socially accepted. In fact, people would make fun of her looks. Theses insults primarily targeted at the fact that she wears glasses, and even so far as her name. Every night, after whatever she has been doing that day, she would come home, go straight to her room, and she would cry herself to sleep. After her parents found out, they realized she needed a friend or two. Eiji had recommended that they find her a suitable husband who could be there to soothe her pain. The Matsumoto family was deep in their roots and therefore faithfully believed in their family traditions. Eiji and Haruna reached out to the Germanic House of Zenzefer. Erwin Zenzefer III had received her picture, and sent one in return to the Matsumoto family. Eiji and Haruna had given the picture to Momo, who fell in love with him upon gazing upon the picture. When they had met for the first time, Momo at first was a bit nervous, seeing her 6' tall to-be husband in his former military uniform looking slightly down at the black haired girl. For the first time in 3 years, Momo smiled. Eiji, Haruna, and Erwin had agreed to move to and enroll Momo at Beacon with Erwin, who was already studying there.

After being inspired by her to-be husband, Momo took up the Martial Arts. Momo, over the course of about 7 months, became a black belt of Jujitsu. At this point in Momo's life, she had done this simply for the approval of her family and to-be husband. Both her parents and Erwin, who loved her for who she was already, were extremely proud of her and boasted about her in conferences, special supper invitations, and even so far as school meetings.

Momo wears a pair of satin black flats with bows on the tops and grey insoles. However, since these are the only shoes Momo likes to wear, the grey insoles have started to blacken and wear out, 'molding' to the shape of Momo's soft feet. She wears only flats as they are the closest thing to being barefoot, without showing off too much of her feet, as the sheer perfection of them cause people, including her parents and to-be husband to stare. However, she is so 'loyal' to wearing flats that if told to wear any other shoe, she would rather be barefoot. She sometimes likes to slip out of her flats, not necessarily to show off her perfect feet, but because she does like to be barefoot. Unfortunately, her feet end up back in her flats, as she doesn't like when people stare for a long time. This could possibly be seen as one of her weaknesses, since if her shoe would slip off by accident, she would rather recover her shoe instead of taking the other one off and focusing on the task at hand. One could say she is extremely self-conscious about her feet.

On her 17th birthday, Momo received a present that her parents and grandparents forged in the family forge. Momo received twin swords, one red and one orange, in which she called Dawn and Dusk. The red sword is Dawn and the orange sword is Dusk. Momo has only trained and experimented with these weapons, leaving her to control their power on her own. Although Erwin Zenzefer III is considered the young sword wielding master, even he can only help Momo with basic and advanced combat, as the power inside the swords is too powerful for him, and therefore believes himself to be unworthy of wielding the weapons. Eiji and Haruna have said that the swords were made with the ancient technique and materials of the Matsumoto ancestors, and therefore the true wielder of these weapons is that who rightfully bears the name, and can use their power.


Personality: Momo is often a quiet girl. Although she wants to make friends, her fiery temper often keeps her from having friends, and any friend she has had didn't stay around too long as they switched schools or moved away. Momo has a short fuse and little patience, if somebody offends her or makes her unhappy, she tends to raise her voice and scream angrily. Momo doesn't like to talk casually with other people as it makes her nervous and she never really knows what to say. She has kind of gotten used to the fact that she has no real friends, however, do to the picture bride system that the Matsumoto's have respected, her to-be husband, Erwin Zenzefer III, keeps her happy in times where she feels depressed or exhausted. Momo, again, is very self-conscious of her looks, especially her feet. While she enjoys the freedoms of being barefoot, she carries herself with pride as well as being a proper individual, therefore, footwear is a must to her. She loves her flats more than any of her possessions with the exception of her swords, and likes to wear them just about anywhere. Even if she is participating in activities such as running and hiking, her flats are seen on her feet. If she loses one of her flats, whether it is taken off of her foot by somebody like Erwin, or it simply falls from her foot, she will make every attempt to get it back, as before she was given Dawn and Dusk, they were the only things she ever had the opportunity to take care of.

Aura and Semblance: Momo's Aura glows orange. Her Aura was unlocked by a hunter whom was saved from Momo when he was attacked by wild Grimm. Her aura allows her to heal and block unexpected attacks from other beings, by throwing up and orange peach shield. This shield protects Momo entirely from up to 10 heavy or unexpected attacks. Upon depletion, the shield can only be recovered after a long period of non-rigorous activity, such as sleeping, simple walking, or even eating.


Combat Behavior: Momo is an aggressive fighter, she likes to take charge of the group and be the first one into combat. However, this means that if she needs help, she must rely on the speed of others to help her in danger, otherwise, she might suffer injury. Momo is agile and believes in the principles of precise and tactical striking, therefore allowing her to daze and confuse her enemies, softening the kill for her allies.

WEAPON

Name: Dawn and Dusk

Primary Form: Twin short swords. Dawn is red, and Dusk is Orange, about 1' in length from the tip of the blade to the base of the grip. The grips, black in color, are about 5''

Secondary Form: upon the pressing of a button on the bottom of the grip, Dawn and Dusk turn into twin rifles. This happens through a series of slides and hinges. These Rifles fire colored rounds corresponding to their blade colors

Tertiary Form: N/A

Dust Functions: N/A

History: Dawn was made by the hands of Eiji Matsumoto and Oda Matsumoto with Dusk created by Haruna Matsumoto and Rin Matsumoto for Momo's 17th birthday, in which are wielded by the 17 year old today.
« Last Edit: February 25, 2017, 08:26:44 PM by Zenzefer45 »

Swordslinger

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Re: Momo Matsumoto
« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2017, 09:16:19 PM »
Hello, what's up? I'm Sword, your reviewer in training, and, well, you're missing a bit here. Grammar could use some work, spied some misspellings here and there (Always double check). Your history is a little off too, for one, there isn't a war in the present day, or at the very least, one that your character would remember.

Secondly, your character seems very Asian. Most of Asia based culture in RWBY's world comes from Mistral, while I don't discount the possibility that a family could live in Atlas and be from Mistral, you should put it in your profile just to be clear.

Thirdly, your Semblance. What is it? The shield? You need to be clear about what your Semblance is. Most Semblances are an "aspect" of a character. For example, Ruby Rose from the show has a "speed" semblance because she's a very active person, always zipping from place to place. Blake on the other hand, has a tendency to duck and run, hence why she creates a shadow to take a hit for her.

Fourthly, your weapons. I get that their swords, but what kind? Jians, katanas, hand and a half's? You need to be clear about what type they are, as transforming into a rifle requires a certain level of mass. Folding tech is a wonder, but it's not a miracle.  Also, if you want to specify what kind of Dust you use, just say Fire, or lightning so that people will get it at a glance. And for that matter, "Cleansing beam?" Do your swords fire a flamethrower, as your description implies, or do they send out a sword beam?

By the way, if your weapon doesn't have a third form, just edit that out, put N/A, or just say that it doesn't have a third form, but don't leave it blank.

Zenzefer45

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Re: Momo Matsumoto
« Reply #2 on: February 23, 2017, 08:19:37 PM »
Updated.

Kingnoname1

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Re: Momo Matsumoto
« Reply #3 on: February 23, 2017, 08:45:28 PM »
I'm curious why you are so insistent on this war in your backstory. Like who is the war between? What is it about? Is it still raging? How does it effect the wider world? It seems you could replace it with any vague 'this area is becoming more dangerous' thing.

Your history is also very confusing it starts with her being sixteen and moving to Beacon, then she is tormented for her appearance for three years then she trains in martial art for a period of time before being given her swords at seventeen. Making it linear or clearly sign posting where and how old Momo is during each event in her history would make it easier to understand.
No criticism to harsh so hit me with your best shot.

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Zenzefer45

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Re: Momo Matsumoto
« Reply #4 on: February 25, 2017, 08:20:05 PM »
Reupdated. I took out the war part and simply put she and her parents moved to Beacon where Erwin already resides.

Kingnoname1

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Re: Momo Matsumoto
« Reply #5 on: February 25, 2017, 10:01:03 PM »
The only other thing I'd say is clean it up a bit before you post in Character Creation proper. Make sure you don't repeat yourself and personality stuff is in the personality section, combat stuff is in the combat behaviour section and so on.

Best of luck and hope to see you around the RP boards.
No criticism to harsh so hit me with your best shot.

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Azure

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Re: Momo Matsumoto
« Reply #6 on: February 26, 2017, 04:03:20 PM »
Hello! I'm typically a Worldbuilding moderator, but making my first strides into the Character section forum by offering some assistance Work-in-Progress characters!

Welcome to our community here, first off; we hope you've gotten your feet wet enough with our rules, and noticed that you've taken the first steps into becoming a major part of our stories here by posting in the Work-in-Progress section first. Excellent! Our community in this section so far has created a great trail for you to follow, and looks like you've taken time to make the appropriate edits, so you're well off on the right foot so far. A couple of more changes can help you get a leg up here and put into Character Creation proper:

1) The Appearance section could use some touch ups; it leaves a lot of detail lacking in some areas, and some very specific details in other sections. Tiptoeing around the lack of details in her school uniform, but then providing a substantial detail in her casual wear, and then only a short sentence for her battle attire doesn't help much in your case here. I would match the pace created here and keep it fluid throughout; if you're expressive in casual attire, get the anatomy, school, and battle attire in step as well.

2) Your history is a step in the right direction when it comes to detail. It's evident this was probably the easiest or your favorite section just because of the substance provided here, but I have to toe the line at fourth paragraph-- that is probably better suited for the appearance section. Also, this is history. While I commend you for getting a leg up here and providing detail, it leaves very few footprints in providing any kind of past. What kind of upbringing did she have before 17? What more can you provide of her family? The estate? It sets a good backdrop, but lacks the sole details that give a character a dimension. This one comes off a bit flat-footed once it gets started, and only has some nods toward her past, but doesn't detail enough to really warrant an arching story that is looking to continue forward.

3) The personality feels like you have your feet in two different pools of thought, and gets contradictory with the history. As a reader, I don't understand the connection between her history of crying alone after school and the arranged marriage to the firey, heavy-heeled temper. It almost feels like a strong pivot from the character intended to be created.

4) Sorta going to tie everything up together here in one summary-- the last parts of the profile look incomplete. Nothing wrong with that since it is the Work in Progress section, but I do feel like you went head over heels for the first areas, then stepped aside for the last parts. Detail the Semblance a little more, give us some more details in the Combat Behavior area by arching things with History and Personality, then follow through on the next step into your characters Weapon. Do the colored rounds provide any elemental attack? Make sure to keep that consistent, as listing 'N/A' for Dust Functions means you'll end up with your foot in your mouth over things like shooting fire or ice.

I hope these points can assist you in kicking this profile into shape, and get some solid ground for you to stand on here!

Zenzefer45

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Re: Momo Matsumoto
« Reply #7 on: March 05, 2017, 11:10:31 AM »
Updated a bit

Vox Machinae

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Re: Momo Matsumoto
« Reply #8 on: March 06, 2017, 03:18:12 PM »
This caused enough blabber in staff chat to summon the webmaster.










Keep wasting the time of my staff, and I'll just ban you and your alts (yes, dipshit, we can see those) and be done with it.

It's a beautiful day in the desert (yes, dipshit, we can see where you post from) at least by my cold-blooded and winter-locked reckoning, and only likely to get nicer, so maybe some time outside will do you good.



Don't bring this shit out of WIP until you learn not to be a dumbass.
« Last Edit: March 06, 2017, 03:19:59 PM by Vox Machinae »

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Re: Momo Matsumoto
« Reply #9 on: March 12, 2017, 12:45:40 AM »


Ha ha haaa, it's funny because I'm one of the top two people on the site in terms of authority...

But since I'm in a highly charitable mood, let's go point by point. For the audience.

Quote from: Dipshit
this is a highly abusive message.



Oh, you sweet summer child. I was gentle.

Quote from: Dipshit
i have bben insulted



But clearly not taught how to spell. Also, the plants that scrub the oxygen you breathe? They should feel insulted.

Quote from: Dipshit
and accused of something i have not done.



You caught that part about how we can see where you post from, right? Right? Your reading comprehension abilities aren't that terrib- Oh, who the fuck am I kidding, they probably are that terrible. But yeah, no, we have direct fucking evidence. This is where I'd post the snape "don't lie to me" gif, but I already used that telling you to stop being a dumbass.

Quote from: Dipshit
i am looking for my first approval,



Well, aim for the top and keep polishing this turd of a profile and maybe someone will be drunk enough to +1 it.

Quote from: Dipshit
and all i got was a demeaning comment and remark

Hey, now that's not true at all.



You got plenty of people trying to help you iron out the many, many flaws of your profile...

... Who you ignored, and reposted the whole thing unfixed, pretending not to have heard anything...

You got teased by Azuzu, who decided to have a little fun trying to help you...

... Which went over your head...

You got an admonishment from the webmaster to stop being a dumbfuck...

... And proceeded to double-down on the bullshit.



Real talk.

Between the alt, the lies, the email address, and the general behavior, we've got you pretty solidly squared away in the troll column.



So why haven't we banned you? Because of little joys like this. I like putting on these kind of shows for the members who, unlike you, didn't eat paint chips as a child.

Oh, and sometimes to make Koop, the other top person on the site, cry.



... But something tells me that's not likely this time. (Hint: We have staff chat and what's coming isn't a surprise at all.)

« Last Edit: March 12, 2017, 03:25:18 AM by Vox Machinae »

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Re: Momo Matsumoto
« Reply #10 on: March 12, 2017, 03:16:34 AM »
So, I think I've got this right.

You posted a profile in the WIP section and received some help from various people. But then you posted the profile in the review area without taking that help with you. Then you did not respond for a while, so we moved the profile to MIA. Then you reposted the profile, which was again moved to MIA section because of a lack of activity and still no real changes. And now you're back to your original WIP profile and are finally taking advice, but are again ignoring advice because you posted that you "updated a bit", but you didn't actually edit the post at all.

These things are why you were called a dumbass. I try to shield people from the Vox. But in this case, it simply cannot be done. I'm sorry. You sealed your own fate here.
« Last Edit: March 12, 2017, 03:56:47 AM by Aegis »
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Zenzefer45

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Re: Momo Matsumoto
« Reply #11 on: March 12, 2017, 04:11:26 PM »
Well website owner, what am i missing, what else do i need to do, i am getting no recommendations, just a whole lotta hurtful things and no real progress.

Kingnoname1

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Re: Momo Matsumoto
« Reply #12 on: March 12, 2017, 05:48:24 PM »
I think taking into account Azure's above post would be a good start.
No criticism to harsh so hit me with your best shot.

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Vox Machinae

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Re: Momo Matsumoto
« Reply #13 on: March 12, 2017, 06:19:26 PM »
i am getting no recommendations, just a whole lotta hurtful things and no real progress.

Are you fucking kidding me?

I think taking into account Azure's above post would be a good start.

Or Jar Jar's.

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Re: Momo Matsumoto
« Reply #14 on: March 12, 2017, 06:26:55 PM »
Look, bub. I genuinely don't see why you ask for advice and say you've received no recommendations when you most definitely have. Just...make the appropriate changes instead of actually doing nothing or ADDING things that had nothing to do with what people are saying. You received the "hurtful things" due to the sheer amount of annoyance you've caused the staff. As someone who has been in your position and has greatly progressed: listen to advice, don't blatantly lie, and don't play the victim card. You're only digging your own grave when you do this shit. Honestly, we can all be nice and give good criticism, but it's extremely infuriating when our advice isn't even heeded. So, why waste the time? I can only hope you actually take this advice instead of complaining or reporting this (that won't get you anywhere anyways).
                                                                                              ~Sky
« Last Edit: March 12, 2017, 06:31:25 PM by Skylia »
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