Author Topic: Rachel Jonquil  (Read 3698 times)

MonsterManic

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Rachel Jonquil
« on: December 10, 2017, 05:04:44 PM »

CHARACTER

Name: Rachel Jonquil

Nickname: Animal Whisperer

Age: 18, 29th of Niege

Species and Gender: Female Axolotl Faunus

Occupation: First Year Haven Academy Student

Appearance: Standing 5'3, Rachel is a small girl with hazelnut hair that drapes down her shoulders, light grey eyes, black irises, a semi-permanent smile and behind her ears, twin sets of 3 axolotl gill stalks, light pink and very obvious. These are wider and larger than her ears with the capability to spread out, fold up, and waggle. They are also quite sensitive. She has very pale skin, comparable to an albino animal's. Other than that, she has no other faunus traits.
 
Rachel wears a yellow crop top under a white, short-sleeve bomber jacket, leaving her midriff completely exposed to the air. Black fitted pants with large pockets and calf-length grey boots with laces of yellow complete the look. An interesting note is that she has no belts, ribbons, or jewellery on her outfit, nor her symbol. There is no space for weapon storage, nor any bag slung over any shoulder. Her outfit itself is noticeably patched up and fixed in several spots.

History: It is said that the greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for the Faunus, even in Mistral where the harsh words were slung around less frequently than most and the more physical side of things were kept to a minimum. The Faunus in Mistral were shunned and mistreated, given unideal tasks and forced to carry them out, and any pleas for mercy were cut off by words along the lines of "Why are you complaining, your fellow degenerates in Atlas are suffering far worse, you should be thankful that I'm treating you this well".

Such were the living conditions that one suffering young Faunus child was born into--in a zoo, no less. Remarkably similar to that story in a holy book, but remove the manger, the onlookers and the shelter and you have Rachel's birth. These horrible environments and no medical aid left Rachel incredibly weak from birth, and it took all her mother had and more to afford the medicine Rachel needed to even survive. This wasn't helped by the medical staff charging extra simply because her mother was a Faunus like her. With no father to help take care of Rachel, Rachel's mother had to work with her strapped to her back--tending to animals, feeding unruly beasts, cleaning up after them and sweeping the zoo before and after closing hours--which was an agonising job since she was forced straight back to work after childbirth. The first day came close to killing her. It was only the thought that Rachel would have no-one to take care of her that kept her going. And going. And going.

She wasn't superhuman. No person on Remnant could survive the labours of childbirth, the backbreaking work, and the unending torrent of abuse from staff and visitors alike, least of all one exhausted, underfed, and mentally broken mother. When the inevitable happened and her mother collapsed on the job inside the tiger pen, the onlookers stared. Stared. And moved on. It was just another Faunus who had hit rock bottom. Just another unremarkable event in their everyday life.

What happened next was definitely not unremarkable.

A soft noise, almost mistakable for a purr, emitted from the pen. Witnesses to that scene described it as "a young child walking up to a tiger and pulling its tail." Instead of roaring it's displeasure, the tiger looked back at the young Rachel. And sat. Allowed Rachel to climb onto its back, enduring the pinches and yanks at its fur. Moved to stand protectively over Rachel's unconscious mother. Needless to say the staff and Rachel's mother got quite the shock when they arrived and her mother woke up. She nearly fainted again when Rachel waved at her gleefully from atop the tiger's back.

This wasn't a one-time occurrence, either. With every animal in the zoo, including potentially dangerous species, Rachel elicited the same results, every animal becoming docile and allowing her to play with them. Rachel's mother could only attribute this to the long-term contact with the animals, long enough that the animals recognised Rachel as a non-threat. Or, perhaps, the animals secretly sympathised with the Faunus. They certainly weren't about to turn it down, either way. As Rachel grew older, she was able to help her mother with her job and lessen her workload. This was further helped by her bonds with the animals turning what once was a potentially dangerous job into an enjoyable one. Rachel further adopted a cat given to her by a child and quickly fell in love with it.

Despite this, their situation hadn't improved much. More people were visiting the zoo, curious to witness Rachel's "talents" and willing to turn a blind eye to her Faunus heritage. Thanks to this, Rachel's mother was getting paid and treated better, but they were still in a tight spot. Yet, there was still one question left unanswered: Where did Rachel's bonds come from?

This was answered one day when a staff member told Rachel there was a Huntress to see her. At that point Rachel had no clue what a Huntress was, and her reaction was "Is it another animal?" She was half-right--the Huntress was a Faunus like her, and she reckoned she had the answer. It may have been Rachel's Semblance, and she was willing to train Rachel to help her discover it. There was another reason--she, like most of the Faunus who ever saw them in her situation, was sympathetic. However, what separated her from the rest was that she had something that could help. Eager to get her mother out of her horrible predicament, Rachel eagerly accepted. After 5 years of training, Rachel had unlocked her Semblance (It had something to do with her "talents" after all) and was entering Haven with a recommendation from her teacher/Huntress.

Personality: Rachel's almost transparent when it comes to emotions and thoughts. Sure, she'll try and hide her facial expressions, limit her body language, but there's no hiding her Faunus traits. Action speaks a thousand words, they say, and there's no one who fits the bill better than Rachel. Depending on her mood, her axolotl stalks will perform various actions not unlike cat's ears. Feeling happy? Stalks fan out. Sad? They droop visibly. Nervous? Not only do the stalks stand on end, the minuscule hairs on each stalk do as well. Not only are her Faunus features the ones that stand out the most, they're the ones that define her emotions too.

Apart from her Faunus traits showing her emotions even if she doesn't want to, Rachel is a rational thinker. She thinks everything through before carrying them out. This applies to her words and her actions, both in and out of combat. Rachel plans most things ahead and gets flustered if they go awry, though she is not a slow thinker and can usually scramble up a backup plan if the original gets ruined. She does not take this to the extreme, usually just making one precise plan with one backup option.

As an Axolotl Faunus, Rachel cannot stand the heat. She prefers cooler climates such as Mistral, where the high hills provide cool, fresh air. This has influenced her choice of clothing where she exposes as much skin as she feels comfortable to cool herself down. If the temperatures go above the 25's celcius, she starts feeling headaches, ramping up to feeling faint and collapsing. This doesn't affect her health too much, being only a slight negative of being a axolotl Faunus.

Being a Faunus and having lived with animals her whole life, Rachel knows them really well. She can understand specific sounds, facial expressions, movements and cater to their needs. This applies to a very wide range of species, and she has a natural connection to animals, in which she can easily endear herself to other animals. Subsequently, she feels more at ease with animals than with humans. She owns a pet cat called Katniss, which she can summon a copy of using her semblance. Doing so makes her more at ease with her surroundings.

Rachel has had bad experiences with Faunus racism, toward both her and her mother. She is looked at with distrust due to the White Fang's activities within Mistral. This has led to her developing a bad mindset that humans are generally horrible toward Faunus, and disliking the White Fang for giving all Faunus this bad impression. While not agreeing with their methods of violence, she retains a certain degree of respect toward the Fang for having the courage to stand up for them.

Aura and Semblance: Aura Color--Jonquil Yellow/#F4CA16

Being an axolotl Faunus, while cumbersome in normal life circumstances, has carried over a powerful trait in terms of her survival: Axolotls have one of the strongest regeneration capabilities of any animal, and this translates to Rachel's  regeneration too. Her healing rate is vastly stronger than other humans, but healing major wounds still requires the aid of a medic. What this does is allow Rachel to recover from minor wounds faster, even without Aura active. Note that this does not increase the speed at which her Aura regenerates, and is of little help in combat.
Spoiler: ShowHide

To put into perspective, axolotls can have their spinal cords crushed, their limbs cut off at any section, even their brain damaged, and it will regenerate. No scarring, no physical defects, nothing. Every tissue is replaced. Of course, this won't be the case with Rachel, but the point is there.

Semblance: Wild Advent--Rachel can, by means of using her own aura reserves, summon a selection of animals to assist her in combat, or other purposes. She is limited in this regard to animals she has shared a close connection to, and can only have one animal by her side at any given time. In addition, these animal summons have a limited area in which they can exist--20 meters from Rachel at any given point, no direct sight needed. These summons have no time duration, look like Weiss's summons but with yellow, and can be de-summoned at any time. However, any summons active will de-summon if she loses consciousness (eg. fall asleep)

These animal summons can be ordered by Rachel via thought to carry out various actions, and have limited degrees of sentience. They can warn Rachel of enemies inbound, lead her to water or food, but not make decisions on their own. It must be noted that once Rachel has used her aura to summon said animals, they count as separate entities with their own aura reserves, as much as Rachel has sacrificed to summon the animal. She does not take damage if the animal takes damage. Rachel cannot physically control the animal, cannot look through their eyes, does not have their senses, and cannot speak to them. However, if they can carry out an action she orders, they will do it. If a summon is within touch when Rachel de-summons them, she will regain whatever Aura the summon had, up to the maximum summon cost. This helps with survival more than combat.

Rachel has currently forged tight enough bonds with 5 animals to summon them via Wild Advent. These animals all have names and are normally used for more than one purpose. When summoned, the animal summons have an extra 50% aura added on from their summon cost for their "health".

Animals:

Jun--Bengal Tiger (20% Aura) (30% "HP")
-Jun is the first animal Rachel has ever succeeded in summoning with Wild Advent, and the summon she uses most often. Apart from fighting, Rachel uses Jun as a mode of transport, as well as a sort of steed since her weapons are too short to use on horseback. Claws and jaws are Jun's weapons and he uses them well.

Haku--Peregrine Falcon (10% Aura) (15% "HP")
-Haku is mainly used in combat to harass enemies, as well as her method to temporarily distract airborne foes that her weapons lack the range to hit. Haki is also used to fish in rivers from time to time.

Katniss--Cat (3% Aura) (4% "HP")
-Katniss is the only summon that serves no purpose in battle. Instead, she serves as moral support, being cute, being Rachel's favourite animal, and an excellent mousetrap.

Alvis--Boa Constrictor (15% Aura) (22% "HP")
-Used solely for combat, Alvis, as a boa constrictor, can bite (no venom) and coil around a limb, restricting movement. Rachel uses the summon as a landmine of sorts, having Alvis strike and slither away to another position. However, the fact that her summons are glowing yellow don't help.

Nathaniel--Grizzly Bear (20% Aura) (30% "HP")
-Nathaniel fufills the role of a pseudo-tank, being a hulking grizzly bear that can stand on two feet. Nathaniel can also be ridden, and by more than one person at a time unlike Jun.

Combat Behavior: Rachel's fighting style rotates around her Semblance. More specifically, which animal she has currently summoned. However, she is still capable of fighting without any animal summons, but her effectiveness in combat is reduced due to the her reliance on her Semblance.

W/O Semblance: Rachel fights up close with her twin katars, using them the way they were intended to: punching knives. While good at close-quarters, her strength is mediocre, meaning she relies more on agility than power to win her fights. In addition, when alone, she comes up with a combat strategy based upon exploiting the opponent's weakness and goes with it, rarely backing out even if the enemy has caught on. This leads to her own weakness being potentially used against her.

W/ Jun: The most used animal summon, Rachel rides Jun into battle, using her short katars as slashing weapons that can reach enemies due to Jun's proximity to the floor, compared to a horse which would leave her weapons too far away. Jun is more oriented toward striking hard and fast while trying to take as little damage as possible, and Rachel normally creates opportunities for the tiger to get in close and savage his foes. While mounted, Rachel assumes a cavalry charge, singling out an opponent and circling them with repeated charges.

W/ Haku: Haku is chosen when there is an enemy that is out of reach of both Rachel's katars and SMGs. Used mainly as a distraction tool, she creates opportunities for Rachel to slip in under an enemy's guard while they are distracted. Alternatively, Haku can be used to engage airborne enemies and hopefully bring them in range of her dual SMGs. In addition, Haku acts as a scout to warn Rachel of far-off enemies. Due to her small stature, Haku has little bulk and is easily dispatched with one heavy blow.

W/ Alvis: When stealthy eliminations are needed, Alvis is summoned to sneak up to opponents and bite, before sliding away to wait for another opportunity. Rarely used in a head-on brawl, Alvis can warn Rachel of landlocked enemies approaching.

W/ Nathaniel: If a big, bulky tank is needed, Nathaniel can draw some fire away from Rachel in times of need due to the bear's intimidating build and size. He is normally used in scenarios where time is needed or pressure needs to be relieved. Alternatively, he can transport up to 4 people on his back, whereas Jun can only carry 1 swiftly.

WEAPONS

Names: Navi and Fi

Katar Form: Navi and Fi are twin katars, comprised of two sections: a katar with handle and a shield/gauntlet hybrid.

Like a normal katar, Rachel grips a handle attached to the main section of the punching blade. However, the handle is attached to a small shield placed above her forearm and ending at her knuckles. The shield has a line running through the entire length of the metal. Under the shield is a small box that is hidden from sight, attached to the main katar handle and is the thing holding the shield in place.

SMG Form: During the transformation to her weapon's ranged form, the katar blades split in half and rotate to the sides of her fists like prongs on a crossbow. The shields split in half as well, along the lines running down the shield, and they cover the sides of Rachel's arms creating a 3-sided rectangular cover for her forearms. In the space that the shield has now created, a small, single-barrel SMG locks into place, and can be fired from Rachel's wrists if she tenses her forearms. Weapon magazines can be loaded onto the top of the SMG, but must be unclipped before transformation.

Storage Form: The katar blade fully splits and folds around her wrist, exposing a blunt edge facing outwards. This allows Rachel to wriggle her fingers without dropping the twin weapons, but does not completely free up her hands. Otherwise, she keeps these constantly in her weapon locker or on her arms, making it slightly cumbersome while out on missions.

History: Weapons that could be used on tigerback were limited, so Rachel put the two most affordable weapons together and created Navi and Fi with the help of her teacher/Huntress. Easy enough to learn, these weapons brought her through the combat test in Haven.
« Last Edit: December 11, 2017, 06:02:47 PM by MonsterManic »
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Setsuna Antiqua - First Year Leader, Team ASTC - Chivalrous Shield

Tina Allan - First Year Member, Team ATLA - Twin Sharpshooter

Tieren Augus - First Year Student - Emotional Berserker

Kei Tsz Fung - Fourth Year Member, Team SARK - Silent Duelist

Lunae Terenas - Second Year Student - Unlimited Explosion Works

Graham Dylandy - First Year Member, Team LLGD - Technological Samurai

Jocelyn Antiqua - First Year Member, Team CASA - Combat Medic

Yu Nanhai - First Year Student - Lone Survivor

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Rachel Jonquil - First Year Student - Spirit Summoner

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Emile Antiqua - Former Professional Huntsman - Gentle Giant

Kingnoname1

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Re: Rachel Jonquil
« Reply #1 on: December 11, 2017, 05:50:04 AM »
As mentioned before the only issue I have is the contradiction around the regeneration thing.

First you say 'Axolotls have one of the strongest regeneration capabilities of any animal, and this translates to Rachel's Aura regeneration too.'

But then you say 'Note that this does not increase the speed at which her Aura regenerates, and is of little help in combat.'

Personally I would simply say it allows Rachel to recover from minor woulds like someones aura would even without it active as well as assisting with long term damage. Make it clear that aura regeneration isn't boosted.

Of course if you want the aura regeneration increased then remove the second line and be careful to specify it only means she gets her aura back faster relatively, it still takes hours.
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

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MonsterManic

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Re: Rachel Jonquil
« Reply #2 on: December 11, 2017, 06:13:20 AM »
Removed the Aura regen, edited in "recovers from minor wounds faster and without Aura active."

No faster aura regeneration rate.
Beacon: ShowHide

Setsuna Antiqua - First Year Leader, Team ASTC - Chivalrous Shield

Tina Allan - First Year Member, Team ATLA - Twin Sharpshooter

Tieren Augus - First Year Student - Emotional Berserker

Kei Tsz Fung - Fourth Year Member, Team SARK - Silent Duelist

Lunae Terenas - Second Year Student - Unlimited Explosion Works

Graham Dylandy - First Year Member, Team LLGD - Technological Samurai

Jocelyn Antiqua - First Year Member, Team CASA - Combat Medic

Yu Nanhai - First Year Student - Lone Survivor

Haven: ShowHide

Rachel Jonquil - First Year Student - Spirit Summoner

Others: ShowHide

Prof. Ferus Talandar - Grimm Specialist Teacher at Beacon - One Man Army

Emile Antiqua - Former Professional Huntsman - Gentle Giant

Kingnoname1

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Re: Rachel Jonquil
« Reply #3 on: December 11, 2017, 06:29:21 AM »
Looks good to me +1
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

Ramalia - RASB - First Year Shade

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Re: Rachel Jonquil
« Reply #4 on: December 11, 2017, 11:27:16 PM »
I'm a bit hesitant about having summons that are sentient, even if it's a little bit. However, I won't make that big of a deal about it.

Overall, the writing style and background was enjoyable to read.

Approved 2 of 2 and moved.
First Year Beacon Student: Rackley Winchester - The Hawkeye Sniper currently Teamless

Second Year Beacon Student: Jett Davenport - The Playful Shadow Knight of Team MLDC (Melodic)

Third Year Beacon Student: Suntalia Lyn Ryker - The Voice of Thunder currently Teamless

Fourth Year Beacon Student: Savas Carnelian - The Quiet Berserker Leader of Team SARK (Stark)

Beacon Professor: Oberon Falcov - The Man With A Plan / Team Strategy Teacher of Beacon