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Author Topic: Kisha Miles  (Read 254 times)

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Kisha Miles
« on: October 10, 2017, 08:36:22 AM »
CHARACTER

Name: Kisha Miles

Nickname: Schoko (Means Chocolate in German)

Age: 17

Species and Gender: Human, Female

Symbol:



Occupation: First Year Beacon Student

Theme: LINK

Appearance:

 
Spoiler: show
 


With an hight of 1,65cm and a weight of 62kg, Kisha is in the average of an ‚normal‘ Girl of her age. She has a pale skin color, Brown eyes and a mix of different shades of brown colored, short hair. She has a round face, with a small nose and slightly big eyes. Her everyday clothes includes a brown short armed hoodie, which has her nickname ‚Schoko, written on a name tag on her left side. This name is also stitched on her Hood along with ears, eyes and a mouth of a Cartoon-Guinea Pig. She is wearing gray shorts, which has her symbol on the right side.

In combat, she has a dark brown, large quiver for arrows on her bag and a also dark brown belt for her Weapons first form.

Spoiler: show
 



History:

Kisha was born in the west of vale in a small town called, Chanicha. She spend a lot of time with her Grandparents (maternal) because her parents were often at work. They were Huntsmen and Huntress, but not just any. Kouta and Sy Miles were highly respected Huntsmen and were always asked to do the most dangerous missions. They meet at Beacon Academy, got married and had a child, her. Her Grandparents owned a Choclate shop, where she spend most of her time, helping to work. Thats were she got her Nickname, Schoko. One of her friends started calling her like this, after saying she read in a book that Schoko means chocolate in another language.

Even though Kisha didn't spend much time with her parents, she always looked up to them and she made her goal, to become a Huntress just like them when she grew up. She started practicing with a wooden sword when she was 9 and as a present for her 12 birthday her mother gave her a bow. She made herself an own schedule when to practice with what. Even though she never had professional training, she was a good swordswoman and archer.
When she was 14 a message arrived at the chocolate shop. Both of her parents died on the mission they were participate in. Together with 3 other Huntsmen.
After that day, she took her training even harder.

She took courses to learn how to make and modifie weapons and with 16 years she made her masterpiece Demanon. Right after that she sign in for the exam to be accepted to beacon academy.

Kisha entered the huge hall which beacon reserved for the entrance examination. The auditors stand on a podium hight up in the room. There were 3 auditors for the exam and 1 Huntress, together with two Meds, for the case that something goes wrong. The Auditors told Kisha what they planned for the Exam. There will release three beowolves from they cages and she had to fight them. Easy. They also told her that they will add something extra, but didn't said what. The Beowolves were led out of there cages and immediately sah Kisha. The first one jumed at her and Kisha slided under him, holding her weapon demanon up, slicing the belly of the grimm. Kisha stood up again and heard a 'thump' as the grimm behind her fell to the ground and disbanded to dust. Without hesitation the second beowolf jumped at her, the third after. She rolled to the side to dodge the first one and than shot the second on with an normal arrow to the white 'mask' Around his face. The beowolf screamed and charched at her. But Kisha also had to look out for the second one behind her. So she used her semblance and creats one portal infront of her and the other behind her. The charching Grimm went right through it and crashed into the other grimm which was behind. She then herself charched at them, cutting of their heads in the process. She looked up to the auditors, but suddenly another beowolf jumed at her. She barely dodged by rolling out of the way. She quickly stood up again and scanned the area. There were two more beowolfes. Was that the extra the auditors talked about? An ambush? But she had a plan. she teleported thanks to one of her portals up to the higest point in the room. Kisha pulled out one of her gas grenades and threw it to the ground. She looked that she took a grenade in which isn't too much gas. She didn't want to blow everything up. Her weapon transformed to a bow again and shoot a fire arrow after. A explosion filled the room and as soon the smoke was gone, the grimm were gone too.
Kisha again, looked to the auditors. two of them made notes and the other looked at her in shock. She just caused an explosion!
The day ended fast and a week later Kisha received a letter. An acceptance to beacon academy.

Personality:

Kisha is a kind and helpful Woman. She acts a bit hyperactive and never knows when to shut up, what can lead to her friends telling her that she's annoying, which she always takes really serious. She was never good with criticism. Kisha always tyries to see the positive side of things and is always up for a joke. Even if she doesn't like someone, she will go up to this person and help the, if they really needs it. For her, friendship is one of the most important things in the world, and she would do everything to protect her friends, what leads to her loyalty. If you have her trust once, what isn’t hard to earn, you have it forever, or untill you betray her. She than completely breaks down and falls into a short but bad depression. Even though she has a happy and silly nature she can be serious. If a fight takes a bad turn for her, her happiness shuts completely down and she tries everything to win. You can see similar reaction if somebody jokey about death or bullies people. She will probably forgive them in the end anyway, but untill than you really shouldn't mess with her. For the Students and learn part, she isn't the best option. Kisha often don't pay attention and is completely lost in thoughts. She also doesn't try hard with her studies. Her Motto is 'I trust my bad luck' and most of the time, she passes with an 2-3 (Btw, I'm not so familiar with the grades in America, so I use it like we do in germany. 2-3 is B-C)

Aura and Semblance:

Aura Color: Ember colored

Kisha’s Semblace are Portals.

It's rare, but sometimes a semblace can be inherited through the family. That's what happend to Kisha. She inherited the portals from her father

She Forms a circle with both hands creating a portal on each side. She than can throw them like a frisbie wherever she wants to. Kisha can only creat two portals at a once. If she tries to creat a third one, the first one will disappear. Everything and everyone can go through the portals but for everyone but Kisha it will cause nausea. Kisha also can decide the size of the portals. It bigger the porzals are, the more exhausted she get. The biggest portal she can great is only big enough to fit two Humans at once. She will also be exhausted if spe creats to many portals after another. After making six portals she  needs a break, if she doesn't take one, she will collapse.

Combat Behavior:

Kisha never fought together with other people befor, which makes her more effective in a 1 vs 1 fight. She prefers to fight defensive rather than offensive which leads to her using her weapon in it's bow form befor turning it to her sword. One exceptions would be, if she don't have any cover from where to shoot. In a open field she will mostly likely uses her weapon in the sword form first. Even though she never fought in a group she will be cooperative and will listen to her leader, but if she sees an better option for a plan herself, she will simple act on her own. Kisha is fast and maneuverable, which is important. She doesn't wear any armow and if she gets hit, the hit WILL leave a mark. Using her semblance in fights isn't rare either. Even though she likes it more to keep her semblance a secret from the enemy (If it's a Human. she doesn't care if it's a grimm) The Portals help her keeping her distance or to block attacks. They can also work as an escape route for her and her teammates (Although the sideeffect will give them nausea)
She is good in improvise plans and she is a good strategist, still, she wouldn't be good as a leader, because she hate's to give people orders.


WEAPON

Name: Demanon

Primary Form:

Spoiler: show
 


Demanon is in his Primary Form a sword, a german Zweihänder to be exactly. It is wielded with both hands, is 170cm Long (120cm the Blade) and is 5cm wide. It weight 3 kg and the handle is made of metal. Because of the length, it has a module where you can insert most of the blade, so that it can fit in a belt. Thanks to the module(s) It can also turn in his Secondary Form. In the Primary Form Demanon can not use dust

Secondary Form:

Spoiler: show
 

Demanon can transform into a bow. It doesn't have any specialties. It’s a normal, long reach weapon. The only thing noteworthy are the arrows, which are modified with dust. Her quiver has  four container, for every type of dust one, and one for normal arrows. One container has enough space for five arrows.
Those containers are there, that the arrows won’t set each other off, which would cause an explosion.

Dusk Functions:

Ice arrows: When the Arrow hits the ground it can freeze an 0,5x0,5 area. If the arrow hits a Person, it will freeze the body part it hit, though the ice isn’t thick.

Fire arrows: The Arrow will make a small fire, Wherever it hits. It burns longer on meterial like wood or wool, than metall or stone, just like normal Fire. It can’t be used in water or if it’s rainy.

Lightning arrows: As soon the arrow hits his target, the bodypart it hits will get cramps, If it hits the head the person will get migraine

The Dust only activates when the arrow hits the target

History:

Kisha’s parents died when she was 16. Even though she never had so much contact with them, she knew exactly which weapons they used. So she mad a duplicate of her fathers sword and her mothers Bow and fused them. It took some tries but in the end she made her masterpiece Demanon

The transformationen: Thanks to the modules the Blade can reduce his length. A string will shoot out at the bottom of the handle and attaches itself to the tip of the blade. The Handle will, thanks to another module, extend and bend itself to the shape of an bow. To transform the weapon back, The string will tear due to pressure and the rest of the bow will transform back. The weapon stores 20 Strings and Kisha reloads them after every fight.

Weapon Name: Gas grenade

Description: Kisha has six gas grenade on her belt. The gas creats a slight fog and is explosive if it comes in touch with fire

Spoiler: show
 All Art belongs to ChosenVowels
« Last Edit: October 14, 2017, 11:20:20 AM by DEXES »
The hyperactive weirdo Kisha Miles  - Team BSEK - "Who's in for some FUN?"
Dragon tamer Mikado Drak - Character WIP - "...Come Kiro..."

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Re: Kisha Miles
« Reply #1 on: October 10, 2017, 06:24:31 PM »
First off welcome to the site Dexes! :D Always nice to see new faces around here, and cheers for checking the rules and finding the template ^^ A lot of people don't and it slows down their start. Good start to the character, the main thing now would be to expand upon the history in particular, as right now its rather bare bones. 

Some quick tips or comments going down what you have so far
  • Always nice to see a symbol
  • You have a lot of extra spaces which break up the text. As in a new line (Enter key)not just space between words (Spacebar)
    • Actually guessing this just a formatting thing for WiP but will need to be fixed before heading over to approval.
  • Also nice to have some art to go with the character, however unless its something you got commissioned I'd include a link to the artist in the spoiler.
  • Nice to see that she starts off with wooden weapons at a reasonable age
  • Main concern with the story so far is the use of absolute terms. Her parents 'were one of the best Huntsmen ever' and 'She passed the exam with one of the highest scores'. Though nothing prevents you from having it like that its just something we try to avoid, you can still get the same effect by saying she passed with flying colours or something like that. 
  • Personality seems fun. Two minor things, would use gender neutral pronouns (help him/her if he/she really needs it --> help them if they really) and would like to hear something about how well she does as a student.
  • Semblance seems cool, mods may have some questions before approval but wouldn't worry about that now
  • A classic weapon but seems fine, only concern here is that the lightning arrows are incredibly strong (but again wouldn't worry much about balance now)

Again welcome to the site. Dont worry about the list as its mostly minor things, just want to give you info to create a great character. If you have any questions don't hesitate to ask here or on the discord! :D
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Re: Kisha Miles
« Reply #2 on: October 10, 2017, 09:04:43 PM »
We try to aim for 2-3 weaknesses so I'd advise trying to think up another one, maybe something to do with Kisha's fighting style being cluncky on account of her being mostly self-taught.

As Vision said the electric arrows a pretty powerful, five seconds is more than enough time to shoot another arrow, so I'd make it something along the lines of cramping the muscles near by when hit. Aura would probably reduce most the physical affect but it would still hurt. On the weapon thing adding a little bit on how the weapon transforms from sword to bow would be useful.

If you have any questions please feel free to ask here or on the discord, https://discord.gg/Es2GCj4
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

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Re: Kisha Miles
« Reply #3 on: October 11, 2017, 01:02:51 AM »
Thanks for the feedback, I'll renew it as soon as I can
The hyperactive weirdo Kisha Miles  - Team BSEK - "Who's in for some FUN?"
Dragon tamer Mikado Drak - Character WIP - "...Come Kiro..."

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Re: Kisha Miles
« Reply #4 on: October 11, 2017, 02:55:02 AM »
    Okay I changed:



    • I edited a link to the artist of the picture of Schoko
    • Kishas Parents were highly respected Huntsmen (It was one of the best befor)
    • I wrote how the exam took place and how she passed it in the history
    • I changed the text for the lightning arrows. Its now "As soon the arrow hits his target, the bodypart it hits will get cramps, If it hits the head the person will get migraine"
    • I wrote how the weapon transforms
    • Theres now a small text of how she behaves in class (in the personality)
    • To the combat behavior I edited that she "Kisha actually prefe to fight alone, because she, as a child, never learned how to fight with others, so if there isn't one who tells her what to do, she probably chaches in alone."
« Last Edit: October 11, 2017, 02:57:09 AM by DEXES »
The hyperactive weirdo Kisha Miles  - Team BSEK - "Who's in for some FUN?"
Dragon tamer Mikado Drak - Character WIP - "...Come Kiro..."

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Re: Kisha Miles
« Reply #5 on: October 11, 2017, 03:08:13 PM »
I would argue that the new weakness contradicts the previous character, she is both highly cooperative and good at improvising but also prefers to fight alone and needs to be told what to do. A simple way to come up with weaknesses is to just flip their strengths so if she is good with the bow/sword she might not be as good as one far more focused in one weapon or two similar weapons. Or maybe because she works very well in a team she leaves herself open outside it. A trick I use to write characters is to always write down somewhere, even if it's not on the profile, the impact I want certain traits to manifest in the character. This way you not only don't repeat yourself but it can help you fine tune the character.
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

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Re: Kisha Miles
« Reply #6 on: October 11, 2017, 03:45:25 PM »
Okay, thanks,
I tried to summ up the combat behavior a bit better now. I hope it's okay like this
« Last Edit: October 12, 2017, 02:11:56 AM by DEXES »
The hyperactive weirdo Kisha Miles  - Team BSEK - "Who's in for some FUN?"
Dragon tamer Mikado Drak - Character WIP - "...Come Kiro..."

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Re: Kisha Miles
« Reply #7 on: October 13, 2017, 12:40:48 AM »
Uhm... Do I need to change more or is it good like this (I ask because noone is answering me)
The hyperactive weirdo Kisha Miles  - Team BSEK - "Who's in for some FUN?"
Dragon tamer Mikado Drak - Character WIP - "...Come Kiro..."

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Re: Kisha Miles
« Reply #8 on: October 13, 2017, 01:07:03 AM »
I'd just try to clean up the formatting but yea it looks good to go.
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

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Re: Kisha Miles
« Reply #9 on: October 14, 2017, 10:53:59 AM »
well uhm, I need a second approval right? Guess I have to wait until someone shows up
The hyperactive weirdo Kisha Miles  - Team BSEK - "Who's in for some FUN?"
Dragon tamer Mikado Drak - Character WIP - "...Come Kiro..."

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Re: Kisha Miles
« Reply #10 on: October 14, 2017, 11:02:25 AM »
A bit of a misunderstanding here. King said that it seemed good to him here in WiP, once you fix the formatting which you still haven't (you need to remove the extra spaces in the paragraphs). After that you can copy the text and make a new thread under character creation, and then you will get final reviews. And for the record you don't post in the +1 thread, ill see if I can delete it so no worries.
« Last Edit: October 14, 2017, 11:05:53 AM by Vision »
Diana Farran - Beacon First year - HTDG
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Bastet Nin - Haven First year - RWND
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