Author Topic: Kaali Charen  (Read 2263 times)

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Kaali Charen
« on: July 30, 2017, 04:35:34 PM »
CHARACTER

Name: Kaali Charen

Age: 17, Born on the 8th Klever, 62 AC

Gender and Species: Female Human

Symbol: None

Occupation: First Year Student, Beacon Academy

Appearance: Kaali is, much to her dismay, barely over five feet short. Combining her height with her pleasant smile and toned but underdeveloped body, she has been referred to as a child on occasion, eliciting a fair bit of well-deserved rage from her. Length-wise, her violet hair extends about halfway down her back, though it is nearly always messily kept back into a ponytail with a simple teal colored ribbon tied into a bow. Loose hairs and a general lack of upkeep leaves hair hanging free on the sides and framing her matching violet eyes. A smile is often on her face as she glances about.

As for apparel, Kaali's standard outfit consists of a sleeveless, teal colored tunic extending halfway down her thighs with a cut on one side to allow for flexibility. Gold trimming surrounds the neckline and the bottom and black shorts are worn underneath to solve any potential wardrobe malfunctions. Leather boots reach almost up to her knees and fingerless leather gloves covering her forearms match the color of her shirt. Finally, a long, white jacket featuring teal trimming keeps her arms warm with its sleeves and sports her symbol on the back in teal.

When armed, a brown leather shoulder strap secures her blade to her waist. Image.

History: Kaali had an challenging start to her life. Complications during her birth ended in the death of her mother, Claire. Her father was not particularly interested in raising a child in the first place, and with the death of his wife, he practically forced Kaali onto Kirkka Scarlet, Kaali’s maternal half-sister. At first, Kirkka was happy to help raise Kaali, but after a while, it became apparent to her that the father wanted nothing to do with the child. He seemed to care little for her, and often left Kaali with Kirkka for days or weeks at a time, citing how busy he was with his job. When Kaali was four, Kirkka took steps to become the legal guardian of Kaali, relieving the father of his unwanted duties. A few short years later he moved out of Vale and has not been heard from since.

Kirkka was not the best motherly figure as she had no experience and wasn’t particularly skilled with kids. Kaali was quite rebellious throughout her early years, but Kirkka believed her attitude could be directed toward a worthy goal and enlisted Kaali at Signal Academy. Kaali was eager to learn proper combat. Getting into scraps with others was not uncommon for her, and she had learned that her tiny stature put her at a disadvantage in strength. Her attitude during her first two years at Signal got her into plenty of trouble, which then fell onto Kirkka as she struggled to help Kaali out of situations.

During summer break in her second year, Kaali learned that her best friend that she met at Signal, Cassidy, died while visiting her parents outside of Vale. An unexpected Grimm attack ravaged the supposedly heavily fortified village they lived in. Though the village survived, there were casualties. Kaali fell into a depression with the news and stayed in the background for many months. Cassidy was the only at Signal that Kaali considered an actual friend, and with her gone And Kirkka living at Beacon Academy, she was relatively alone. Kirkka ended up taking a break from her job to stay at Signal while she tried to help Kaali through the unexpected trauma, and Kaali got over her depression, growing very close to her half-sister at the same time. Kirkka was pleased by this, but later on realized that Kaali's reliance on her made it difficult for her to get close to others. Still, Kaali had gained a much more focused mind from the event. A mind focused on the extermination of Grimm.

When Kaali returned to school with renewed vigor, this new focus got Kaali’s grades and skills on track and, with a tiny bit of nudging from Kirkka, she was accepted into Beacon Academy. Now a first-year student, she spends a significant amount of time with Kirkka and continues to struggle with making new friends.


Personality: Kaali has learned from Kirkka to be friendly as much as she can toward most everyone and does not struggle from shyness. That said, she has difficulty making close friends as she is still sometimes reminded of her friend at Signal Academy. Preferring to avoid that kind of situation, she subconsciously attempts to avoid people she feels she is getting too close to. Kirkka is often her fallback for those kinds of situations, something that Kirkka doesn't agree with but mostly understands. Serious conversations are pretty boring, so Kaali has developed a healthy level of snark and sarcasm to deal with that kind of crap. When she has to be, she tends to speak directly and truthfully about things which can be off-putting and harsh.

On the battlefield, a Kaali's attitude changes slightly. Kaali hates grimm, but she is aware that she can't do everything alone. Kaali has shown numerable leadership traits and will often take the lead in battle, both in command decisions and desire to be on the front lines. Her flashy semblance draws attention to her easily, something that lends mostly benefits to this budding leader.

Before coming to Beacon Academy, Kaali refused to practice against other students or any people, because she did not want to risk injuring them. This was not overconfidence in her abilities, however, as she was more concerned that if she injured them, they would not be able to help her in the future. Beacon Academy requires sparring to pass a multitude of classes, so she has dissolved this self-imposed rule. She still struggles with it and holds back sometimes, and more often than not loses fights.


Aura and Semblance: Kaali's semblance is named Stormblood, named after its appearance and the way it functions. When active, jade lightning dances along her skin and equipment. This effect is purely visual, as the lightning is harmless to both other people and technology.  This effect, along with the other drawbacks of her semblance is caused by a genetic defect that makes her Semblance partially incompatible with her Aura.

Stormblood is, simply, an enhancing semblance. It enhances Kaali's strength, defense, mobility, and speed. Kaali's melee strikes can also be empowered to create waves of energy from each sword swing that extend about five feet past the edge of the blade, giving her enhanced reach. These bonuses make Kaali a powerhouse fighter. She can sustain this level of her semblance for a significant amount of time, but overuse causes her body to heat up due to the amount of energy running through it. This can cause side effects and even lead to heat stroke in very extended durations, but Kaali has never seen a need for such a lengthy duration.

If Kaali runs Stormblood at full power, she is easily the strongest, fastest, and the toughest person at Beacon Academy. However, forcing that much power through her veins is dangerous for her. Due to the genetic defect, her Aura does not protect her fully from the effects of her own semblance, and when Stormblood is at full power, it burns the blood cells in her body, in addition to leading to rapid heat stroke. The combination of these things can easily cause Kaali to require medical treatment or, if untreated, death. As such, Kaali almost never runs her semblance past about half power, only utilizing additional power when in dire circumstances. Every second that Stormblood is run at full power runs the risk of killing her. It definitely needs the label, "Do not attempt."

Combat Behavior: With Kaali's semblance being effectively a stat boost and little more, she has focused heavily on honing her skill as a swordswoman. When in battle, she sticks to fighting single targets a time. When outnumbered, she partially mimics her half-sister's style of disengaging and attempting to disperse the enemy with Dust from her weapon. She fights with her blade in both hands, and thanks to her semblance can make quick and powerful strikes, making her a formidable offensive warrior. The boosted range from her semblance also allows her to reach mid range targets while still retaining the power of the strike.

In practice bouts and spars, Kaali regularly fights defensive, a habit from her earlier years. She holds back against others a lot, out of irrational fear of harming them. She knows their Aura will protect them and the match will end before she can truly injure anyone, but she cannot shake that feeling yet. As a result, she struggles to win matches against other students and often agitates her opponents, as it is plain as day that she is holding back.

With a semblance that enhances both her offense and defense, Kaali is particularly challenging to handle head on. Sneak attacks are effective against her, as are keeping out of range of her enhanced sword strikes. Finally, due to her single minded focus on one target at a time, even just two assailants at once can be daunting for her to handle. She is aware of this weakness, however, and seeks to overcome it as Grimm are rarely alone.


WEAPON

Name: Better Half

Primary Form: Better Half is a singled edged sword that rests comfortably in its scabbard on her waist. While sheathed, the blade is only about one and a half feet long, but upon drawing it extends to its full length of just under two feet. This design is due to Kaali's short stature. A lengthy weapon at her waist got in the way often, so she had it designed to be more compact. The scabbard is decorated with faint jade illumination, and at the top has what could be called a control panel that features several buttons and a slider.

Dust Functions: When the sword is drawn from its scabbard, Kaali can utilize the scabbard controls to charge the blade with one of several types of Dust. Once drawn, the effect can last up to a minute. The blade must be returned to its scabbard to be recharged, and sheathing the blade strips the current effect from it, discarding the unused Dust.  Rapidly changing Dust effects can be costly and time-consuming.

  • Strength: The most commonly used type, this Dust simply enhances the force behind the blade, creating stronger attacks and making it easier to parry enemy attacks.
  • Air: With this Dust, the blade becomes easier to swing, allowing her to make high speed but low strength attacks. Additionally, the blade can fire of slicing waves that extend much further than her semblance causes. Only a few of these long range attacks can be made before the Air Dust is depleted.
  • Ice: Ice Dust causes ice to rapidly form around the impact point of the blade. A blast of frost can also be shot from the sword which is capable of completely freezing a medium sized creature or object, such as a beowolf. This blast consumes the entire charge effect.
  • Fire: Uncommonly used, the blade is surrounded by flames that burn targets. Very fun, and very dangerous, but only limited effect due to the difficulty of controlling fire. Piercing an enemy with a flaming blade will burn them from within, however doing so requires leaving the blade in the enemy for some time.

History: Kaali worked hard on the design of her sword, even though it is not overly complex. It was originally just a sword to her, but over the years it has become one of her closest companions in her eventual quest to slay all the Grimm. She recently named it Better Half, a reference that fighting is more than half of her being.
« Last Edit: August 04, 2017, 03:13:59 PM by Koop »
Kirkka Scarlet - Beacon Academy Groundskeeper - Dust and SCF Expert - SCF Tuner
Alban Inverno - Headmaster of Beacon Academy
Kaali Charen - First Year at Beacon Academy
Mia Brightspear & Waffle - Beacon Dust Shop Owner, Huntress, Bear Owner, Dust Expert. Also Waffle is a bear.
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Color/Format Scheme: "Talking." Thinking. Doing.

Kingnoname1

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Re: Kaali Charen
« Reply #1 on: July 31, 2017, 04:06:36 AM »
Just to save time add 'please don't ban me' at the end of every sentence.

Two comments on the history; I'm not really sure what the role of her aura causing so much pain has on the character. It is presumably solved in the backstory, as it's not mentioned again, and it feels like just another tragedy to put on the character which doesn't really add anything. She would still fear using her powers because of how uncontrollable her semblance is and if you really want to keep the suicide attempt it could just be folded into Cassidy's death. It's more of a personal thing but secondly I don't like how the father is basically written out of the story. It's not that I'm saying dead beat dads don't exist but from a narrative stand point you seem to be cutting down the characters that Kaali could possibly know and that seems wasteful.

One small thing and one big thing with the personality. Small thing first, by 'she keeps a large distance between them and her' do you mean physically or socially? And on the personality traits, again to reiterate pls no banne, it's a bit of a mess. Why is she confident, let alone overconfident, in her ability when she often loses and fears using her semblance? What is the reason she swaps to being headstrong to cooperative in combat?

I don't like the semblance. I see how it is a visually impressive power and an interesting twist on the character but I feel that could be achieved without being so Omega level X-man-y. If you do end up keeping it though having some specifics would be nice: How long can she hold 10%/5%/1%? How fast are energy blasts? And something about going 10%+. I trust you, or well others obviously trust you, to have this power but I really don't like the idea of first years being able to be the strongest/fastest/toughest characters in setting and the only thing preventing that is themselves.

Combat behaviour is good and although I think it's weird naming your sword after your dead friend it's a simple well made weapon.

I hope I've given you something to think about and I do want to be helpful in bringing Kaali closer to what she is in your head. At the moment all I can do is pick at the character itself but if you could give us a bit of insight in what themes/ideas/concepts you want the character to epitomise I could give another perspective on how to get her there.

Although it is probably too late now for the third time, pls no banne. i beg mercy.
No criticism is too harsh so hit me with your best shot.

Calen Shrike - ASTC - First Year Beacon.

Saffron de Cortez - SALT - Third Year Atlas.

Amarant Lovis - (formerly of)ACCE - Headmaster of Atlas Academy

Ramalia - RASB - First Year Shade

Koop

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Re: Kaali Charen
« Reply #2 on: August 01, 2017, 03:40:28 AM »
Yeah, there's a whole ton of contradictions. I mostly put this up so I can see it on the forum and clean up the formatting a bit. But I basically had new ideas that I attached to an old character, and some of the ideas conflict with each other and I haven't fixed it. I appreciate all the input though, helps me know where to focus still! I am doing finals week and such for school so I'm not working on it for another day or two.

Also, I'm not Vox. I'm the good cop. I almost never ban people! Especially people being helpful and nice.
Kirkka Scarlet - Beacon Academy Groundskeeper - Dust and SCF Expert - SCF Tuner
Alban Inverno - Headmaster of Beacon Academy
Kaali Charen - First Year at Beacon Academy
Mia Brightspear & Waffle - Beacon Dust Shop Owner, Huntress, Bear Owner, Dust Expert. Also Waffle is a bear.
#d70040 #104e8b #00FF96 #337AB7 #FFD700
Color/Format Scheme: "Talking." Thinking. Doing.

Koop

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Re: Kaali Charen
« Reply #3 on: August 03, 2017, 03:57:07 AM »
I updated the profile. It should be a lot more focused now, but I haven't done very many passes of it. I still need to do the symbol and am considering renaming the sword and redoing its history since so much has changed, it doesn't fit the character very well anymore.
Kirkka Scarlet - Beacon Academy Groundskeeper - Dust and SCF Expert - SCF Tuner
Alban Inverno - Headmaster of Beacon Academy
Kaali Charen - First Year at Beacon Academy
Mia Brightspear & Waffle - Beacon Dust Shop Owner, Huntress, Bear Owner, Dust Expert. Also Waffle is a bear.
#d70040 #104e8b #00FF96 #337AB7 #FFD700
Color/Format Scheme: "Talking." Thinking. Doing.